Settle a disagreement - heating in the morning?

[WatchOutLurkerAbout]

Lighthearted but settle a disagreement between my husband and I!

Our bedroom is above the boiler so when the heating comes on it's relatively noisy.

I have to get up for work at 6am, i take the dogs and the toddler to their respective day places and then go to work.

Husband is a contractor so his work is variable - sometimes he is home not working, sometimes he gets up with me to get the train, sometimes he works from home etc etc.

I insist that the heating is on a timer so that it comes on in the morning so I'm not freezing when getting ready etc. He's complaining that it wakes him up when he doesn't need to be. Heating clicks on when my alarm goes off so not on before then and not excessive.

So am I bu or is he?

HIM

It's January, heating is required

PS boilers shouldn't be noisy, nor pipes, I suggest a gas engineer

Amazed at all these hardy souls who don’t need heating on in the morning, our heating comes on at 6am, not that noisy but no way am I getting up in the cold ... I don’t need to leave until 8.30 but love my mornings, enjoying a warm house, coffee and mumsnetting .

He is. And a twat given there's DC too!

He can buy some ear plugs if it's really that terrible.

Or go to bed earlier, get up with you and crack on with some chores before heading off to work

can you do anything to stop the boiler being so noisy? Mind you, then he'd probably just complain about the noise of your alarm, or the noise you/ dogs/ children make and then demand that stops too.
He's lucky he isn't having to get out of bed and should stop complaining. Yes the earlier risers shouldn't make UNNECESSARY noise, but warming up the house a little on a January morning is hardly unnecessary.

He is surely the point of a boiler is to provide heat and hot water when needed? He needs to get the boiler moved if he's not happy.

He's being so unreasonable!

Unless this boiler is recreating the helicopter Ride of the Valkyries scene in Apocalypse Now, he's being a precious idiot.

So what if it temporarily rouses him at a perfectly reasonable daytime hour? Either roll over and go back to sleep or grow the fuck up and deal with it.

He is. Dh gets up before me and the general rule is don't wake me up. But he gets up at stupid oclock sometimes. When he's up at 6am I generally stay awake anyway as I get up at 7am.

If he insists just send the dogs and the toddler upstairs to him and his nice warm bed to get warm when it's cold. Even better if dogs have been on a wet walk and are cold, wet and muddy. And the toddler has had jam on toast for breakfast and is all sticky.

He could always get up and help maybe?

As someone who’s been awake since ours clicked on for the first person up I’m conflicted and also ROASTING MY BALLS OFF

But yeah if it really wakes him he might as well get up and help!

Him wanting you to suffer in the cold is abuse!

Does he control you in other ways?

Is he kind and generous and caring towards you?

Does he share money?

I have to light the woodburner when I get up although the bedroom and living room don't really get cold overnight as we have thick stone walls so not as bad as it sounds.
The first person up turns the bathroom radiator on.
Your dh is bu though he's in a warm bed.

There's absolutely no way I ever want to be cold in my own house! So for that reason he is definitely being unreasonable.

That’s what dressing gowns are for. Put one on when you get out of bed and you’ll only be cold for 10 seconds max. It’s a waste to run the heating in the morning when you’re going out shortly, no wonder the planet is in such a mess.

Put the heating on for 30 minutes before you are due to get up and buy your DH some ear plugs. It's horrid to get up if the house is cold.

Him wanting you to suffer in the cold is abuse!
What nonsense. Being cold isn’t abuse. I suppose it’s also abusive when she has to go to Tesco on a frosty day?

We have our heating on from 5.30 am until 6.45 am . Our radiators are quite noisy but we wouldn’t not have it any other way. Plus it keeps the house warmer for the day .

That’s what dressing gowns are for. Put one on when you get out of bed and you’ll only be cold for 10 seconds max. It’s a waste to run the heating in the morning when you’re going out shortly, no wonder the planet is in such a mess.
What about when you take your dressing gown off in a cold bathroom to take a shower or have a wash? You'd be freezing.

lol glad the consensus is my way!

Answering a few points - to avoid doing work

We can't move bedrooms as we're in a tiny house and there is literally no other space - also a reason why we can't move the boiler.

Boiler is regularly serviced and no issues just because the house is so small there's no escaping any noise at all.

I only put the thermostat to 19 so it's not on ON but on to 19 so if it clicks on it's because it's cold lol

It also clicks off at 6.45 when I leave the house so it's not on forever more.

Also thankfully I did insist this morning as it woke me up when my alarm didn't go off

I think he should not be complaining about this and also why on earth is he lying in when you are doing everything in the morning FFS! Tell him to shake a leg and give you a hand!

So his golden slumbers are more important than the comfort of his wife and child?

Selfish men are ten a penny and your husband is no exception. Agree with other posters: he can get out of bed and help.

My husband works from home. I don’t. He once suggested that each night I put the next day’s clothes in the sitting room and got ready in there so as not to disturb him, since he likes to sleep until 8 am. By which time I’m ten minutes into my train journey. He only suggested it once.

Hard one as I can see both sides.

I really dislike having the bedroom warmer than 16°C when I'm sleeping as it makes me feel ill when I wake up (headache-y and really stuffy nose, etc), but I don't expect the DC and my DH to freeze whilst they get ready for work/school, even though they have all left within 90 mins (max) of getting up.

I don't need to get up until 8am, and I don't put the heating on during the day, especially not just for me!

We compromise by having it come on 15-30 mins before their alarms go off.
Downstairs where I (& DH) sleep it's set to 18°C and goes on 15 mins before he gets up and goes off 20 mins before he leaves, so it's only on for about 70 mins.
Upstairs where the DC sleep it's set to come on at 19°C, 30 mins before they get up, and goes off after 60 mins, around 30 mins before they leave as they're downstairs by then.

Any way you can reach a compromise that suits you both because I'm the same, if I get woken up, I can't get back to sleep?

The majority are getting up at that time. So the majority get the deciding vote.

Heating on
I hate the cold.
We set our heat/cooling system to 25 during the day unless it's a heatwave, then it's 18
And 18 overnight. Not too warm to sleep but not bone chilling cold in the morning