Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To be concerned about phone number in husbands wallet.

102 replies

Justbeingnosey · 07/01/2020 22:05

My husband works away a lot. He is a very hard worker and have never had any reason not to trust him.
He is not a drinker.. rarely goes out, and video calls our 7 Yr old and me every evening.

Before he was due to leave to go away again for work I found a card in his wallet.. A printed card.. Like a business card but just with a lady's name and phone number, from one of the countries he's been working in.
I have not confronted him. I have tried calling the number...and have left messages, I have also checked all his phone records and cannot find any calls to the number.
Any ideas of what else I should do before I ask him about it.?

OP posts:

OrangeLindt · 08/01/2020 00:50

You have no right to go through his wallet.

GreatBigOnion61 · 08/01/2020 01:03

@OrangeLindt and he has no right to use escorts behind her back.

I don’t know a woman yet who doesn’t check up if instinct is jangling - especially when a man works away. If he has nothing to hide, he won’t mind once they’ve discussed why she looked in the first place.

namechange1041 · 08/01/2020 01:30

I'm 50/50 OP.
I do think it's an escort/prostitute card or whatever you want to call it.
But if you trust him and if you think he isn't like that, then it may be genuinely innocent, he probably took it to be polite.
But then I don't see why he would keep it in his wallet if he wasn't going to use it.
It's hard to say, I'd ask him though.

PhoneLock · 08/01/2020 07:14

There is nothing in either mine or my Husband’s purse/wallet that doesn’t earn its keep. If something is foisted onto us we politely pocket it and shred it asap if it’s not a readily available number or bin it if it’s info available in the public domain

Good for you, but not everybody is like that, as my post illustrates. The OP's husband could be more like mine than yours.

Original poster

Justbeingnosey · 08/01/2020 07:19

Thanks for your replies.,
my thoughts are as varied as most of your responses
He is not the type to hold onto junk....very organised.
The card was in between 2 other proper business cards.. Turned the other way round (plain back) he is a bit ocd for organising things.. So this seemed odd.
. He is not home for 2 weeks will ask him then.

OP posts:

Fallofrain · 08/01/2020 07:25

Regardless of who the business card belongs to i think its important to note that he hasnt called it!

So even if it is a call girl type thing that hes been handed, he hasnt called it.
On these threads theres all ways people saying that they wouldnt do xyz so to do so must be suspicious, however not everyone one thing thinks like them. Ive often found on threads like this that ive given signs that people have said would definately have no explanation and must be nefarious (it wasnt). Please remember the world isnt always black and white, the card might not be a related to a call girl or "other" woman, or it might be and he might not of thrown it immediately.

Unless you have other reasons to be suspicious, i would be incredibly hurt if my partner went through my wallet, deemed a card suspicious and called it repetitively without even talking to me.

I sort of expect their to be a massive drip feed tbh

Boredisboring · 08/01/2020 07:26

In an area where I park, I regularly return to find my car decorated with calling cards. Rather than litter, I stick them in my cup holder to throw out later. I don't always remember to do it the same day, so my car can look a bit dodgy and DH has raised his eyebrows a few times.

If someone handed me a card directly (unlikely) I would almost certainly put it in my pocket, possibly my wallet if I was in a distracted auto-meeting mode.

Seahorseshoe · 08/01/2020 07:26

I would have had to ask. I couldn't not ask.

muddledmidget · 08/01/2020 07:40

Where does he stay when he's away, a hotel or an apartment? As I have been given cards like this for air bnbs to contact the owner/their representative who speaks my language if I have any problems. In that case I'd tuck it in my wallet

SandyY2K · 08/01/2020 07:44

I'd be pissed off if my DH went riffling through my purse.

Morgan12 · 08/01/2020 07:52

I couldn't wait 2 weeks!

Get a Male friend to phone?
Have you put the number in WhatsApp and fb?

lowlandLucky · 08/01/2020 08:04

OP To be on the safe side, a trip to the sexual health clinic is called for.

tillytrotter1 · 08/01/2020 08:07

Teach you not to snoop in his wallet! Do you let him snoop in your things?

RosieLancs · 08/01/2020 08:09

Have you tried googling the number?

EarlGreyT · 08/01/2020 08:19

Regardless of who the business card belongs to i think its important to note that he hasnt called it!

So even if it is a call girl type thing that hes been handed, he hasnt called it.

How on earth can you possibly know that?

Woeisme99 · 08/01/2020 08:25

I'd say it's very likely an escort, which legit business card doesn't specify a job title etc so the recipient doesn't forget who the owner of the card is / does.
She's not going to return your call OP, you're very probably not her target audience.
If you really need evidence of her profession get a male friend to telephone her.
The phone bill is an anomoly, he could have telephoned her from his hotel land-line.
I don't know any decent man who would accept, and keep, an escorts business card out of politeness.

Saucy99 · 08/01/2020 08:49

Going through his wallet and phoning numbers on business cards that are in there?
You need help.

annualleavepurchase · 08/01/2020 08:57

I'd assume prostitute. Search the number in Facebook, google and add the number to your contacts to check WhatsApp as others have suggested.
DH could have called the number then deleted it from list.

Why were you in his wallet op? Did you have an inkling something was wrong?

annualleavepurchase · 08/01/2020 08:58

People saying it's a business card are being deliberately obtuse. It has a first name and flowers on it. It might be a type of 'business' card but certainly not the innocent type.

TwatCat · 08/01/2020 09:27

She might've checked your number in the Facebook or whatapp thing like people are suggesting you do. If your number came up and your Facebook has anything with your DH on and she is some sort of escort then she's not going to reply to you.

Sounds fishy to me too. I'd be asking DH to phone it off his phone in front of me.

Chuffit · 08/01/2020 09:43

I wouldn't worry too much about it OP. People are given business cards all the time that they just shove in wallets / pockets / bags and, never to be seen again.
A couple of months ago I cleared my purse out and came across a scrap of paper with a man's name on it, complete with a mobile number. I haven't got the foggiest idea who this man is. I even asked my husband if he knew. He didn't either.
If your husband has never given you cause for concern, then I would just forget about it.

KaptenKrusty · 08/01/2020 09:53

wow everyone is so paranoid on here! If I found something like this I'd just bloody ask instead going around trying to be a detective

why wait for 2 weeks - it's so weird that you feel you can't just say found this card - do you know what it is? if he acts weird and defensive then start digging deeper - but you are just wasting your time being anxious and inventing situations/stories.

If like you say you trust him and wouldn't have any reason to think otherwise then it's probably nothing

CharlotteMD · 08/01/2020 09:57

Is it just his wallet and phone records you normally go through ?

PhoneLock · 08/01/2020 09:57

wow everyone is so paranoid on here!

Not everyone!

deydododatdodontdeydo · 08/01/2020 09:59

A couple of months ago I cleared my purse out and came across a scrap of paper with a man's name on it, complete with a mobile number.

That happened to me a few year's ago. I wondered if someone had given it to me while out, but I hadn't drunk enough recently to forget being given a man's number.
Anyway, if he's keeping an escort's number in his wallet, he's being spectacularly stupid. Wouldn't he just save it in his phone?

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread