Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be concerned about phone number in husbands wallet.

102 replies

Justbeingnosey · 07/01/2020 22:05

My husband works away a lot. He is a very hard worker and have never had any reason not to trust him.
He is not a drinker.. rarely goes out, and video calls our 7 Yr old and me every evening.

Before he was due to leave to go away again for work I found a card in his wallet.. A printed card.. Like a business card but just with a lady's name and phone number, from one of the countries he's been working in.
I have not confronted him. I have tried calling the number...and have left messages, I have also checked all his phone records and cannot find any calls to the number.
Any ideas of what else I should do before I ask him about it.?

OP posts:
MillicentMartha · 07/01/2020 22:49

Yeah, that’s not a business card, it’s a ‘business’ card. I’m sorry OP, it doesn’t look good.

Ronnie27 · 07/01/2020 22:51

Just a first name and flowers doesn’t sound like much of a business card. I’d be thinking along the same lines as you op but hoping it wasn’t. All you can do is ask him I think.

Tistheseason17 · 07/01/2020 22:55

My DH is super naive and would accept a card to be polite. If your DH is usually trustworthy it's likely to be innocent and you should ask.

Washinglinewench29 · 07/01/2020 22:59

Save the number and see if they come up on WhatsApp contacts may have a photo on profile that could give more of a clue.

Cryingoverspilttea · 07/01/2020 23:00

First name only cards are normally call girls. Sorry OP :(

TheYearOfTheDog · 07/01/2020 23:01

do people still do business cards?

I think it sounds like a discreet escort

TheYearOfTheDog · 07/01/2020 23:02

I wouldn't bother saying anything. He'll lie.

Keep digging.

Insaneinthemembury · 07/01/2020 23:05

I've been given pretentious business cards just with names on. Especially in the creative industries.

Patsypie · 07/01/2020 23:06

Sorry but it's an escort. You need to confront him, even to check on health implications

lisag1969 · 07/01/2020 23:11

Maybe google the work name and country see what comes up. X

Icanflyhigh · 07/01/2020 23:14

Dont jump to conclusions.... find out who the number belongs to first

Kn0ckOnTheDoor · 07/01/2020 23:15

I visit asia often to see family. Everytime my (white, british) DH is with me and we are in certain parts of the country, he is passed business cards often as we walk down the street. they can be handed out by men, ladies, taxi drivers etc. most are for massage parlours. if you step into a cab you are asked if you want to be taken to a bar or for "fun times". i can only presume they are paid by certain venues to bring in holiday tourists. it never happens to me and rarely to my sons or nephews but every day to DH and can only assume its because we look like we could be local and DH doesnt.

Perhaps he was passed it and pocketed it to be polite / out of courtesy.

Isithometimeyet0987 · 07/01/2020 23:16

I have 2 kinds of business cards one with the business numbers and name on them for new people I meet and ones with just my name and number on for people I want to contact me directly to make sure they get through to me, incase I’m with pupils at the time and the secretary’s can’t get me. So I wouldn’t be worried about finding a business card in my dhs wallet.

Isithometimeyet0987 · 07/01/2020 23:18

Sorry just seen it’s first name only now that I’d strange mine has my full name on it

ilikemethewayiam · 07/01/2020 23:24

Totally agree with**@TheYearOfTheDog!

PhoneLock · 07/01/2020 23:28

My husband was given one like that from the woman that cuts his hair. The salon was closing and she was hoping to keep her regular customers.

PenelopePissedstop · 07/01/2020 23:31

Taking it to be polite is very different from preserving it for future use in a wallet. Was it tucked behind another card or was it loud and proud, front and centre ?

PhoneLock · 07/01/2020 23:40

Taking it to be polite is very different from preserving it for future use in a wallet. Was it tucked behind another card or was it loud and proud, front and centre

I think you are reading too much into it. I bet if I looked in the card pocket in my husband's wallet, or even my purse, I'd find a couple of ancient business cards taken out of politeness.

StoneofDestiny · 07/01/2020 23:53

Ginfordinner

No I wouldn't. We've both got lots of social and business contacts and trust each other's judgements about people completely.

BrendasUmbrella · 07/01/2020 23:57

As Guacamole has already said by ringing the number and leaving messages you have given your OH the heads up that you are on to him (if he's been up to something). He will have his story ready now and she will NEVER answer the phone to you now.

A business card with just a woman's first name? She probably doesn't remember him... She probably doesn't have his phone number on record...

BrendasUmbrella · 08/01/2020 00:01

Very few legit business people are quite obnoxious enough to give out a business card that only features a first name and phone number thinking that's all someone will need to remember them and their line of work. I'm pretty sure we're talking about the kind of cards that used to get stuck to the inside of phone boxes. That doesn't necessarily mean he cheated, but it needs to be investigated.

PenelopePissedstop · 08/01/2020 00:03

I think you are reading too much into it. I bet if I looked in the card pocket in my husband's wallet, or even my purse, I'd find a couple of ancient business cards taken out of politeness

There is nothing in either mine or my Husband’s purse/wallet that doesn’t earn its keep. If something is foisted onto us we politely pocket it and shred it asap if it’s not a readily available number or bin it if it’s info available in the public domain.

whiskersonkittenss · 08/01/2020 00:03

Put the number into WhatsApp and see what photo comes up with it?

midnightmisssuki · 08/01/2020 00:07

Flowers on the card? Maybe she’s a florist!? Leaving a message would be a bit odd Op.

Disquieted1 · 08/01/2020 00:34

Possibly many innocent explanations. In some cities men get cards thrust on them all the time. Ever been to Vegas? The presence of a wife doesn't deter them!

I suspect though that if the card referred to an escort or massage parlour that he had actually visited, there is absolutely no way he would retain the card in his wallet.