I like my job, I work hard as I’m doing the work of at least half another person but it’s flexible and fits around my medical appointments (transplant pending). I’m not in a position to move employer and I’m not yet protected by two years employment until later this year (only found out about transplant last year!).
One of my team is based in UAE. He’s married, has kids. Recently he’s started being really over-familiar on WhatsApp. I’m friendly generally, I banter with everyone on the team so he knows I have a teen at home, presume he thinks I’m a single parent which I am, but I do have a partner of 4 years who I don’t live with.
We have a team WhatsApp group and most of us banter about life outside of work in it, but nothing personal. Just the odd gloating holiday pic or a Christmas tree or a family snap if it’s amusing.
He recently WhatsApp messaged me early one morning asking me to sort something out - my phone is my own and though I use it for work, I do not have email access etc on it as I would never switch off and I don’t want a work phone for the same reason. I said I’d respond when in the office.
Then the creepy shit starts. ‘By the way, I like your profile pic’. I’m surprised but say thanks, it was taken last year, before I knew about the transplant so I probably look a bit more relaxed!
He then says ‘you look beautiful’. I politely say I’m not so sure but try to shake him off with ‘speak when I’m at the office’.
He has continued typing before he’s received my reply saying I’ll still be beautiful in 50 years.
I wanted to puke. I brushed him off but felt he’d crossed a line. He then continued. ‘I had health problems similar x years ago, but I had an operation in India, so I really feel you’.
I felt even more sick!
Told my partner who said to give him the benefit of the doubt - told me potentially the cultural differences and probably just being clumsily complimentary - but to say something to my line manager if I thought he was being inappropriate.
I haven’t done that, but I’m definitely very cautious around him now.
Then yesterday, first day back after hols - I message the group to say train is delayed. Scramble the copter, copter emoji, happy new year etc.
He then sends me a direct WhatsApp asking if I’d ‘like his Chopper’ with a ;-) and then asking me to call him about a work matter. I ignored the lot.
He asked me to call him when I was on leave. I just said I was on leave.
It’s pissing me off. Am I being a bit sensitive or is this bloke a creep who presumes I’m a single mum gagging for a shag with a total arsehole??
I cannot lose this job. I am already having to be firm about my workload as they’re piling it on. I need to keep my blood pressure low and the stress of the job and now an absolute arsehole being Stealthily inappropriate.
Am I being unreasonable by keeping this quiet?
Or would I be unreasonable to tell my line manager?
He is more senior than me and I feel it would be me who would be compromised. It’s not a backwards organisation. We are a global brand.
Am I over reacting? I can’t help thinking this is not going to stop.