At the beginning of December my neighbour, who we have a very good relationship with and who we would consider a friend (but not of the close variety) had a terrible breakup with her partner. She caught him cheating whilst away on holiday and he tore up her plane ticket left her goes home and took all his things and a lot of hers and moved out. He stopped paying a lot of things including his half of the rent and took both their cars, she had recently reduced work hours due to his insistence and and as then left financially stranded. He was imo abusive but she was left as others before her in dire straits just before Christmas with a daughter (from previous relationship). She is a very good cook and gardener and asked me if She could help me out at home cooking and with odd jobs for an hourly rate, I doing really need any help but felt it was because she didn't want to ask for a hand out so I gave her £300 for helping bit when asked because it was Christmas coming up and she has a child I said she could make me a Christmas cake .
We only asked her to fetch a few things for us when she was going to the shops herself maybe 5 times in the month and if course don't expect repaymnet. We also supply her with say extra eggs when we buy, milk etc..
However, this month I got an email asking whether she can continue ' working' for us and I paid her again, but frankly feel resentful as a few.months were mentioned. I really don't want to leave a mother stranded but neither do I want to support her. I bought her really nice Christmas presents but feel she was a little grabby about them and also I felt she could have reciprocated at least with a few baked biscuits or something cheap.
When we paid her again she invited us around for dinner to Thank us and then had 'forgotten' which I might be being a selfish about but feel somehow mugged. I am worried about leaving her in a bad situation with a child to support but am feeling used.
I am thinking enough how to deal with it , do I continue to help out for a few months to May when she has another job starting, do I decrease the amount by £100 over the next 2 months or tell her that I won't be helping her from next month? I am also a neighbour and want the relationship to stay pleasant. I had always intended the help to be short lived.
Any advice on how to deal with it. I don't want to be selfish and part of me feels that I am extra resentful because she has not just come and say just trim a rosebush, provided a cake she baked or something like that. We don't expect her to work but she offered and I probably feel used that she didn't at least do I something. At this I don't mean hard labour just a token act.
She does have family and an ex husband who pays minimum but they also are all low earners and she won't be able to afford to stay next door without my help and I might end up with a worse neighbiur!