To feel embarassed/ashamed of what I do for a living?

[Exvagabond]

I'm currently working as a cleaner at £10/hour with an agency in London. I've never cleaned professionally until a few months ago, but I was desperate to find work to support my family.

Whenever someone asks me what I'm doing, I tell them and you can just tell by the look on their face that they don't approve almost as if they feel sorry for me. Why does my job make people uncomfortable?

I dont have to work, my partner supports me but I see it like this;

-My DD (4) gets 30 hours at nursery, socialising with other children and learning what I don't have the time to teach her at home

• I'm bringing money in to the household so that we can put money away for emergencies, a holiday, days out etc.

• I'm putting money in to a private pension

• I'm paying tax

• On top of this I'm a part time student, so I won't do this forever

Why am I scum to some people?

Good for you. I think it’s brilliant.

I had similar treatment when I was a carer as a student. I think it's worse when it come from the management of the company you work for. I felt they were the worst culprits!

What you do is good honest work, I wouldn't worry about the arseholes. There are people out there scamming people for a living, or trying to pay people the bare minimum while they cream off all of the profit for themselves. It is them who should be ashamed.

FWIW, I think this feeling is a state of mind. I'm in a more professional role, but still feel bottom of the pyramid and that I haven't achieved what I should have by my age. We forget that people don't always have upward career journeys. People move in and out of jobs and retrain and start at the bottom after having a successful career in other industries first. Some people have to take what's on offer in hard times.

Well unless they have a cleaner themselves, you're getting paid for doing what they do every week in their own home. So more fool them really!

Some people are just a-holes!!!

I'm a care assistant in a residential home. One residents family member said "you can't have been very clever at school"
I replied "I was actually" (all A*'s, A's and B's)
"Well you wouldn't be doing this job if you were"

School wow, that is pretty rude.

A fair number of the family members I worked with were very kind and respectful, probably because they had tried to care for their parent themselves and realised how challenging it can be (I worked in dementia care), but some of the more judgemental families who were pretty absent much of the time would swan in a few times a year and be extremely rude. They had always had someone else care for the family member, so had no idea how the resident should be cared for or how much their personality and preferences had changed. We did occasionally have family members who were around a lot be rude, but this was more around the frustration of the care system and not due to what they saw the carers education level was.

Cleaning is such a worthwhile job - and I am so grateful to cleaners everywhere.

My cleaner is like a family member - she’s a lovely person, she makes my house look great, I feel deep gratitude to her on a daily basis.

Be proud of yourself.

people ARE rude

to SAH parents, to cleaners, to bankers... there's always someone allegedly fair game to mock or insult. Why would anyone care.

I saw a Linked In profile for a woman who was a marketing manager. Her employer was a large tobacco manufacturer. She wrote that she was responsible for breaking into new markets in Africa.

I think that means her job was to try and get people in Africa hooked on cigarettes.

She displayed her photo on her profile and didn’t seem ashamed of her job, but I think she should have been.

Never be ashamed of providing for your family. You should be applauded. No one should be looking down you. Hold her your head high💐

Years ago, when I was studying abroad ( post-grad degree) I had a part time job as a chambermaid. Totally different from the professional work I do now. I didn't need to do it as I had a very generous grant that covered the fees and the living expenses, but the money was handy, I could afford to travel, to finance field trips, to buy books, to socialize. The hours were flexible and I could do the work around my lectures, studying time and still enjoy a good social life. No regrets. You are definitely not scum, whoever looks down on you is an idiot.

Please don't allow those people to make you feel bad - you're doing a very important job and the most important one of taking care of your family. There is nothing (legal) I wouldn't do to keep my family fed and housed.

I worked as a cleaner when I was studying and I remember the condescending looks people would give me. They are offensive and I fully sympathize with you but remember that it is not you who is doing anything 'lowly' - it is those who give you the looks.

People can be very snooty about cleaning. I think it sounds like you've got your head screwed on and you should be proud of what you're doing

I clean for one client who has two children. When they were home from boarding school in the holidays, to persuade her daughter to get on with her homework she told her to "work hard at school or you'll end up as a cleaner like Clare".

It was said in jest really but unfortunately cleaning is seen as a dead end, unqualified job. I don't think there's any getting away from that.

Although all of my clients are immensely grateful for the job I do and appreciate me, it's not a job they would wish for their own children.

I'm happy with the job I do, earn decent money and have had a good education inc. university!
However cleaning is seen as a menial job; requiring little skill and lacking in prestige. That's just how it is.
The trick is to not get a chip on your shoulder about it!

I didn't read all the messages.

The simple fact is this - you are a role model to your daughter. She will look up to you, no matter what you do. Anyone judging another person based on what they do to bring money in to the family is a knob.

I absolutely do not look down on anyone who is a cleaner or otherwise. In fact everywhere I’ve worked the cleaners have been the nicest people in the entire building, no exaggeration!

I know some people are rude though, my husband is a teacher and did a mat leave cover job once, he had a cleaner come clean his room everyday and he always no matter what he was working on would have a little chat. The cleaner told him she was sad he wasn’t permenant, as the woman he was covering ignored her, even though she’d worked there years, she just thought she was above her.

Just ignore these people, you are earning an honest living and in our experience tend to be the nicest people too!

I’ve worked as a cleaner when I wanted school time hours. The university lecturer I cleaned for had also worked as a cleaner when she had small D.C.

I'm "just a secretary" so I do understand how you feel.

The ones that matter don't mind. The ones that mind don't matter.

You earn more than me OP and I work in an office.

Never be ashamed of what you do!

At least your honest about your career.
Some people try to jazz up things a bit too much : when you drill down you discover they are doing something completely different and then you think '
Why are they ashamed? It can get awkward : best to own it straight away!
( such as the man who said to me was a ' diamond merchant' for a while but it transpired he previously worked for a large well known jewellers ' oh, so retail then' ! Nothing wrong with that at all but he tried to make it sound more than it was at first')

Judging by the replies on here most people are a bit in awe of your job and feel you could charge more for your services as well It go self employed. Good cleaners are hard to find.
More people are hiring cleaners more than ever these days!

I expected you to say you were a politician, bailiff, Ofsted inspector etc... not this! You are actually working hard and doing something that is not just useful, it is actually important imo.
Sadly people do look down on others for stupid reasons but it says more about them than about you.

Cleaning is a good profession imho I have done it all my life and never got paid for it.

I'd never look down on anyone working.
It's an honest job, it pays 'well' and somebody has to do it.

It always shocks me in hospitals etc when cleaners feel looked down on- they have one of the most important jobs - infection control.

I'd take a cleaning job atm as need a bit extra cash, I have a degree and Masters level quals.
Nothing wrong with cleaning, it's an honest profession and anyone with a problem wih this isn't worth your time anyway.

When I opened this thread I thought I was going to read you were a prostitute or something similar. A cleaner is a perfectly respectable job. You are helping people keep their homes nice and bringing in money to help your family and build your pension pot. Well done. I have a cleaner as my health is so poor now and I respect her hugely.