... to think that he is cheating?

[GrandmaSharkdodo]

For background, had a baby a year and a half ago. Sex life wasn't great before but came to a stand still and we've done it twice since baby was born (despite my best moves). Tonight OHs phone was going mad, message after message. I glanced over and asked who it was. He said David but angled the phone away from me. I asked what he wanted and OH got really defensive, what was I implying, what, do I think is going on ,etc. Just an ott reaction. I said ok, "show me then" and he said "look" and flashed the phone at me. But I could only see the name David and didn't have time to read what the message said. He then spent a few minutes typing really quickly with the phone angled away and it has been either in his pocket or face down since. I tried to bring it up again amd he went off, about how insulting it is that I would imply anything like that. Very odd. So... What do you think. Is he cheating?

It's the oldest trick in the book to enter a woman's number into your phone with a male name.

It does sound very, very suspicious.

Any chance you can get his phone? Type it into your contacts and refresh what's app. Profile pic may reveal an odd looking Dave.

He never lets his phone out of his sight. Which I now see as another sign.

Probably. Sorry op.

Who the hell was "David" meant to be, anyway?

I think whatever happens in the future, you need to get your ducks in a row. Are you married?

David is a friend of his. But not massively close. It was his reaction that made me suspect. Yes we are married. We've been together 9 years and married 3. What do I do now???

depends how done you are. Ask to see the phone and the conversation with david. Check the dates and times match. Type david’s phone number into whatsapp. Or just tell him to do one as he is clearly biding things from you.

Has he always kept his phone away from you, or is this just a recent thing?

How is he with you in general? Does he go out much without you?
Any trust issues before?

He's always got his phone on him, and that in itself isn't new.

He has been really grumpy and distant for a while. If I try to talk to him he says he is just stressed at work and exhausted from the baby. (Understandably, baby wakes every 3 hours still)

Is he on his phone a lot?

Constantly on his phone.

Think about how you want this to go.
If you accuse him now, with no evidence, he can just deny everything.
There is another thread where OP knows her DH is cheating, but she is quietly gathering evidence and seeking legal advice.
Once she has her proof and her legal plan is in place, she plans to confront.
My suggestion is to first think about what you want.
Get proof, then decide.
Good luck 💐

Doesn’t sound like you have enough evidence to be absolutely positive tbh. You might need to look for more signs - does he go out and, if so, has it increased? Has he withdrawn from you emotionally? Is his phone password protected when it wasn’t before?

He goes out sometimes but not often. He does work away a bit. But we both share our locations on maps. Is he really running around with someone else when I can see where he is?

It's suspicious. Wait until he's gone to sleep and check his phone. His reaction set off your spidey senses and 99% of the time they are spot on. Trust your instincts.

Before tonight I would have said no way would he ever cheat... And I was sure the sex thing and being distant were due to the baby. But I'm starting to look back at things differently.

Wait until he is asleep, note down “David’s” number and then change it to your own number under David’s name.

Sit back and wait and if he confronts you, do what he would do

Deny and lie

That's good advice, weenurse. I might try to gather some evidence and in the meantime talk to a family lawyer.

I would take a different route. He is your Dh. Say to him you're sorry but you cant help how you feel and hos behaviour was very odd. Please can he let you see his phone just this once to put your mind at rest. His reaction to that should be all you need.

I'm all for privacy but most people I know interchange phones with partners when around the house e.g. if they need to Google something or make a quick call and it's closer.

YANBU, I’ve been cheated on by a guy who changed girls names to boys names in his phone.
A real life example was “Georgia” to “George”
And a girl with the surname “Aldridge” to “Al”
It was “Al” he ended up sleeping with behind my back

Time to make a ‘worst case scenario ‘ plan, while you gather evidence.
Would you want your relationship to continue if he has cheated?
If yes, then get counseling details.
If no, the get ducks in a row to separate.
Look at finances, get copies of all important documents, including bank statements and pensions. Think about how you would support yourself financially.
If it is nothing then no need to do anything. if it is something , then you have a plan and are not blindsided.

It does sound like he might be speaking to someone else.
Because you got suspicious and asked to see, he'll possibly now be covering his tracks and deleting the messages. 🙁
Try and get a look at his phone tonight and monitor it for a little while if at all possible. Hopefully it's nothing. But if it was something, it sounds as though he could be unlikely to confess and tell the truth?