Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be scared of a smear

156 replies

NotHereToMakeFriends · 06/01/2020 16:23

Hey MNetters,

So I've been putting off having a smear test (for years) because I'm terrified of having one. If I felt like something was wrong I would have gone but I'm terrified of having one and I've shown no symptoms of anything serious. Every time I see people (I.e Zoe Sugg) have one or talk about one it looks so uncomfortable.

AIBU for being worried about it?

OP posts:
NotHereToMakeFriends · 07/01/2020 16:44

All those who suggest a relaxant and painkillers. Thanks for the suggestion but it's now booked for the middle of the morning on a workday so a relaxant might be the worst thing to take as I need to go back to work afterwards.

I do like the idea of laughing throughout and I'm a nervous laugher so this will likely be the way that it happens.

You've all been so kind (baring some) and you have put my worries at ease slightly.

OP posts:
TheDogsMother · 07/01/2020 17:11

I had mine just before Christmas and the nurse told me this would probably be the last time I (or anyone else) would need to go to the clinic to get it done. There has been lots of successful research which has proven that it is the presence of HPV rather than abnormal cells that they will be looking for in future therefore we will be able to do either a swab or urine test at home. This is great news on so many levels.

DarlingNikita · 07/01/2020 17:26

I haven't heard about that, TheDogsMother , but it's potentially great news, yes!

furrytoebean · 07/01/2020 17:35

I had a traumatic (-land I mean traumatic) experience with a smear but that was because I said I didn't mind a trainee doing it.

Every other experience I've had was unpleasant but fine.

So make sure you're booked in with someone used to doing smears.

Good luck and let us know how it goes (if you want). Thanks

StealthPolarBear · 07/01/2020 17:36

Yes I was told the same just before Christmas. That in the future it might be a urine test or a self administered vaginal swab. Excellent news.

DarlingNikita · 07/01/2020 17:38

The best one (if that's really the word!) I ever had was at a sexual health clinic and I think the HCP was a doctor (all my others have been at GP surgeries with nurses). Generally I find it either a bit painful or occasionally really bad, but that one I honestly was still waiting for her to start and she said 'OK, all done, you can get up.'!

Namechange2306 · 07/01/2020 18:04

There are so many posters not being very empathetic towards the OP.
I also hate the guilt trip that’s often used on women during campaigns, about motherless children etc.
But the main thing that irritates me is that men aren’t subjected to anything as invasive as this and if they were, they wouldn’t be labelled ‘pathetic’, ‘lazy’ or ‘stupid’ by other men (or women). Because unfortunately we still live in a patriarchal society and this is just one of the examples.

I understand it’s important, but the shaming of women who choose not to is just not on.

independentfriend · 07/01/2020 18:54

I think it's worth considering whether or not you are prepared to consent to the test, knowing your personal risk factors. You don't have to act on the medical advice that recommends them, you are free to reject it. Your health is your business, not anybody else's.

If you decide you want to have one, you can think about things to make it easier for you eg. booking an extra long appointment, seeing your GP and asking for anti-anxiety medication for the appointment, going to a specialist service for people who've experienced sexual assault, going to a GUM clinic (if they do smears locally), taking someone with you (or not), wearing long socks/thigh highs and a long, full skirt (if you're trying to take off as few items of clothing as possible/cover as much of your body as possible.

In terms of sensation, I describe it as mildly painful - it's a sharp ache and I can feel my vagina stretching in ways it doesn't normally to accommodate the speculum. [Other people use language differently, and obviously other people experience the sensations differently - I don't find 'uncomfortable' reflects my experience] I prefer the feeling of a [warmed] mental speculum to a plastic one (I might be unusual in this) - with the plastic ones, I feel my muscles contracting trying to push them out vs. the certainty/firmness of the metal that isn't going anywhere. I can talk through having it done.

If I was worried about pain, I might go with taking a friend and making it their job to reinforce me/being a witness, so that if I tell the HCP to stop and they don't there's another person to say "she told you to stop." etc. If you try it and it's too painful, you can ask for nice drugs for another attempt.

TellySavalashairbrush · 08/01/2020 19:39

I went for mine tonight. Have a 20 year fear of them after an appalling unfeeling nurse did one in my 20s and it put me off for life. It was absolutely fine. Had a big glass of red about 10 minutes before appointment, but didn’t feel drunk just mellow Grin. Honestly was painless. Nurse said the higher up you bring your legs to your bum, the easier it is.

MonicaGB · 08/01/2020 20:05

Thought I would add to this thread with my experience. Thanks to your post I plucked up the courage to get mine done after 10 years of putting it off. Luckily I managed to get a same day appointment.

I put mine off due to the pain of a previous experience and how it triggered things I didn't necessarily want to think of. I was a bit of a mess but the nurse was fantastic and talked me through it and spent quite a bit of time with me. She started with the smallest speculum (which even I thought was a tad small) and then went to a slightly longer one. She also warmed it up in some warm water, which helped. It literally took about 3 minutes and other than it being opened, where I could feel it, there was little discomfort.

Having had a previous one with the metal contraption and the wooden scraper, this was easy. I didn't feel the brush at all. The plastic speculums are so much better than the metal ones for me. Feeling relieved that it's done and I'm hoping when I gave to do it in 3 years I will not be so scared.

So thank you for putting this post up. And I hope yours goes as well as mine did (fingers crossed the results are all fine too).

I am, however, feeling really crampy now. But it feels like mild period pain. Hopefully it will go soon, but I think my poor cervix is protesting from being gently brushed.Confused

PurpleFlower1983 · 08/01/2020 20:08

Honestly, it’s really not that bad. The person doing it has done hundreds and before so won’t be judging anything down there. I won’t lie and say they can’t be uncomfortable, they can, but for me the fear of getting something nasty and have possibly being able to prevent it outweighs the 30 seconds of being uncomfortable. My area does them from 20 and I put my first one off for 3 years. I realise now I was privileged to be offered one earlier than most.

PurpleFlower1983 · 08/01/2020 20:08

*been

CheeseOnToastMmm · 08/01/2020 20:18

Wow some very harsh posts here! I am 33, never had a smear due to "fear" I had elective c sections as vaginal examinations trigger me! I wish I could "pull up my big girl pants" or "grow up and get on with it" but I can't! How dare you dismiss my fears

wingingit987 · 08/01/2020 20:19

It's odd not the best experience but i don't really want to be showing a medical professional my foof. However uncomfortable you might think it is, (it's really isn't ) it's a lot better than dying of cancer. It doesn't always come with signs unfortunately I have learnt that from members of my family who died of cervical cancer.

Clockworkprincess · 08/01/2020 20:24

I'm absolutely terrified of smear tests. I'm built very small and it used to be agony. It was a standard visit to the dr and he said 'my computer is screaming out you' re due a smear test'. Absolute silence from me. Anyway i booked one and it was a new nurse, she was brilliant. When it came to my results she rang me to let meknow as it turns out I'm hpv positive. I have to have smear tests every twelve months. Im stressing over it but better knowing now than too late.

polkadotpixie · 08/01/2020 20:29

YANBU to be afraid because we can't help what we're scared of but YABU to not face your fears and have it done, it's so important!

I don't find them painful at all, I'd rather have a smear than my eyebrows threaded! (& I have a hidden tilted cervix so mine are awkward and more difficult than normal)

separatedandseething · 08/01/2020 20:31

The nurses are good. I went for one just today. It's a necessary evil really as I find it uncomfortable but it doesn't last longer than 5 mins. Can you wear headphones and play some distracting music. Just explain to the nurse.

I always have to place pressure on my abdomen as mt cervix is tilted back and otherwise hard to see.

Please do go. It really isn't worth not doing so. I swear, it is over in 5 minutes.

EasterBun2001 · 08/01/2020 20:50

Goodness me - by the time you 'feel' something is wrong it's too bloody late! The smear identifies potentially harmful cells and allows you to get rid of them before symptoms and before it's too late. Its slightly uncomfortable but not painful. If I could swap period pains for a monthly smear I would.

DecemberSnow · 08/01/2020 20:52

Two of my sisters have had abnormal cells at 18 and 25 if they hadnt gone for a smear then they would both have had cancer.

Please everyone go for your smears

artio0 · 08/01/2020 20:54

The actual uncomfortableness lasts for about 5 seconds, if that... And for the slight embarrassment, remember they do it day in day out, they won't remember your particular privates... Just get it over and done with, you'll see it wasn't worth the worry!

NotHereToMakeFriends · 21/01/2020 10:01

Update: Today was the day and I had it done. It was quite painful but it's done and hopefully, I won't have to have another one for 3 years. The nurse was lovely and we opted for a small device but it was quite painful and I was almost in tears.

Thanks for everyone's advice, I feel better for having it done.

OP posts:
Chooklass · 21/01/2020 10:09

Well done!! Never a pleasant experience but so important. Hope you can treat yourself today - you deserve it! X

IntermittentParps · 21/01/2020 11:01

Good for you, OP. It isn't the most fun thing you'll do, but I do believe it's important. Well done for going.

IntermittentParps · 21/01/2020 11:01

PS I've been in tears at them before; nothing unusual and nothing the nurse won't have seen before

AutumnCat · 21/01/2020 11:47

I need to have one. I had a horrific experience with my first one where the test got caught on the threads of my coil and the doctor refused to believe me because that's so unlikely. I dont know how I got home, I think I was in shock because I spent the rest of the day in bed screaming in pain. Had to get the coil reinserted. Have never been brave enough to go back while coil was in. Had it taken out this month as TTC. If I dont catch this month then will go and have it done but have got so severe a fear of it even my no-nonsense mother thinks I have a phobia!

I'm pretty no-nonsense myself and absolutely believe that my experience was extremely unlikely so I dont want to put anyone off, but I just want to stress that there is nothing wrong with being scared of this. Never mind the pain it's an intrusive and uncomfortable setting and as another poster said it's not as if men have to go through similar on a regular basis. But i will go again as soon as i can and i would strongly encourage anyone to do what you have to do in order to have it done. Take a friend, have a drink, talk to the nurse about relaxants and other meds and any other tricks of the trade. You can even get a kit to do it at home, which is expensive but depending on your personality may be less scary. It's the route I'm tempted to go down.

Putting this here for anyone who may find it helpful, well done OP for going ahead with it, hopefully that will be me in due course!