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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be scared of a smear

156 replies

NotHereToMakeFriends · 06/01/2020 16:23

Hey MNetters,

So I've been putting off having a smear test (for years) because I'm terrified of having one. If I felt like something was wrong I would have gone but I'm terrified of having one and I've shown no symptoms of anything serious. Every time I see people (I.e Zoe Sugg) have one or talk about one it looks so uncomfortable.

AIBU for being worried about it?

OP posts:
Littleroundsponge · 06/01/2020 16:57

Yanbu not Yanub Blush

Original poster
NotHereToMakeFriends · 06/01/2020 16:59

@ch3y nice of you to assume that I've been having sex for years. Your wrong actually. A few bad incidents knocked my confidence so maybe don't assume things you don't understand.

This is one of the reasons I'm also scared about getting a smear.

OP posts:
Yummymummy2020 · 06/01/2020 17:02

I was terrified before my first one but it was totally fine and didn’t hurt at all, it was more I felt self conscious on the table. I know some people can have bad experiences but my last few have also been very good. Not at all unpleasant and just more an inconvenience. I hope that might give you a bit of confidence to get yours done as it is well worth it!

Tattooedmama · 06/01/2020 17:02

I had my first smear 2014, expecting nothing of it and it came back with grade 3 abnormal cells that had to be treated and a biopsy done.
I had no symptoms but if i left it any longer it could have turned into cancer, very scary to think of.
Go get it done, the test is there to save lives

Retroflex · 06/01/2020 17:03

@Oblomov20 how dare you say "People who describe it as :
discomfort
Uncomfortable
Clearly have no understanding of what OP is referring to!

I have OCD with extremely bad anxiety, so who are you to tell me that I have no empathy or that I don't know what she is referring to as quite clearly everyone is nervous before their first, ever, smear! And my empathetic way of reassuring the op, is MUCH better than your scaremongering! Go give your head a wobble!

BarbarAnna · 06/01/2020 17:04

Goodness me people. Learn some empathy. I have seen this before on smear test and mammogram threads. Some people do find them extremely painful. Some people are anxious for their own and valid reasons. Some people may have physical reasons why they are not easy to do. Don’t dismiss this.

Want2beme · 06/01/2020 17:08

I'll be honest and say that I find them painful and am uncomfortable having them done. I'd always had the test regularly up to 7 years ago, as I just couldn't face it anymore. I gave myself a stern talking to and had it done last year. It was painful for a few seconds and my results were clear, thank goodness. I live in a country where the test is done every 3 or 5 years, depending on your age. Be brave and do it. You'll feel much better for it.

StealthPolarBear · 06/01/2020 17:10

ch3y what an utterly stupid thing to post

TheMustressMhor · 06/01/2020 17:14

@ch3y

That is an absolutely crass thing to write.

TheMustressMhor · 06/01/2020 17:16

Don't pay any attention to ch3y OP.

And although you're likely to find a smear test is a bit uncomfortable, it will done at your pace (the nurses are used to women who are anxious) and it is over with in a few seconds.

Please don't wait for symptoms of cervical cancer to be apparent before you go for a smear test. It could be too late by then.

Good luck. Flowers

HumphreyCobblers · 06/01/2020 17:27

OK, I really struggle with smear tests. The way I get through is by going to the GP first and getting a diazepam prescription, then gettting someone to drive me to the surgery. I insert the speculum myself as I find it easier than letting someone else do it.

This way works well for me.

Bluebutterfly90 · 06/01/2020 17:33

I was also in the same boat and put off my first smear for a long time due to anxiety.
It was such an issue for me I ended up talking over it with my therapist.
Try and book an appointment with a sympathetic lady doctor and tell them about it.
I've had several now (because I had issues getting pregnant and they were investigating why), and I will say that the ones the GP did were less uncomfortable than the ones the nurse did.

It's daunting but if you think about it as just a few minutes of discomfort/embarrassment and it could save your life.
Good luck, try and book one if you can manage it. Flowers

Lozz22 · 06/01/2020 17:49

The first smear I had I was terrified it was going to hurt and put it off months and months. When I finally had it done it was a little uncomfortable but nothing too bad. Since then I've had countless internal scans and swabs taken I don't even think about it now when it's time. In fact my last smear the nurse said she wished everyone was like me. I hadn't even realised she'd done it until she said. I find the worst part is deciding whether or not to leave my pants folded up inside my trousers or on top of them. The only time I found an internal painful was just before my miscarriage and the gynae was scraping clots from my cervix. I couldn't really relax either because I was on a ward surrounded by other people with just the curtain pulled round

Oblomov20 · 06/01/2020 19:12

@Retroflex you've completely and utterly misunderstood my post.

I was saying that people were dismissive to the OP, when they described it as merely uncomfortable.

Read my other posts aswell. Then maybe you should apologise to me?

Piglet89 · 06/01/2020 19:21

It’s really uncomfortable and the nurse asked me last time if I knew what size of speculum she should use, which didn’t exactly fill me with confidence.

jellycatspyjamas · 06/01/2020 19:24

In fairness that may have been her way of giving you a choice of a smaller one, eg if you’ve had a smear before you might know if a smaller one was more comfortable.

sunflowery · 06/01/2020 19:26

I was so scared for mine but it was literally fine. The nurse was lovely and I felt so much better once the results came back clear. Just think it could save you so much discomfort in the future. Flowers

DramaAlpaca · 06/01/2020 19:28

I used to find smear tests very uncomfortable. I have a couple of tips that help me:

  1. wear a skirt or dress so you can cover up as much as you want and don't feel so exposed
  2. make your hands into fists and put them right under your bum. This will raise you up a bit and change the angle of the speculum. This tip was given to me by our practice nurse as I have a retroverted (tilted) uterus. It makes a previously very uncomfortable procedure much more bearable. In fact I hardly feel it in that position.
Louulz · 06/01/2020 19:29

I'm going for my first ever smear tomorrow morning. I got the letter and booked, I'd do what you're doing otherwise and put it off!

I've never really thought about not going, I think because the fear of having something wrong is worse than enduring it.

I have some issues with vaginismus and small tears appearing atm so sex is really painful, hence I'm nervous about the speculum...

But, I'll let you know how it goes! And if I can make myself go feel assured you can do it too! Deep breath, book it then don't think about it until you're there. They'll be so used to it.

Retroflex · 06/01/2020 19:38

@Louulz be sure to remind the person doing the smear tomorrow that you "have some issues with vaginismus and small tears appearing atm so sex is really painful, hence I'm nervous about the speculum..."

Retroflex · 06/01/2020 19:41

@Oblomov20 I had read your posts, and I stand by mine. Hmm

Louulz · 06/01/2020 19:42

@Retroflex That's a very good and obvious point, that I didn't even think to do... Thank you, I will!

ladybee28 · 06/01/2020 19:42

I delayed mine for years, too - after having a coil fitted was the worst pain I'd ever felt (and I don't cry easily), I thought a smear would be the same.

It wasn't – it took 10 seconds and I was shocked at how little I felt.

Advice from my experience?

  • As PPs have said, tell everyone you see in the run-up to the process how nervous you are. Ask for a hand-hold.
  • Ask your practitioner to talk you through everything she's doing, when, and why (should do this anyway, but some don't). Ask her also to let you know when something is ABOUT to happen.
  • When she inserts the speculum, opens it, or takes the swab, exhale. Take a deep breath right before (when she tells you she's going to do it), and then let it all out as she's doing the bit you're nervous about. Big exhales switch off your fight-or-flight responses and tell your body to relax. Or if the heavy breathing feels weird Grin, sing (I sing nonsense songs all the way through bikini waxes and it has the same effect)!
  • Have something nice planned for right afterwards, so you can think about that and count down the seconds.

Also, come back here and let us know how it goes! We've got your back Smile

MrMeeseekscando · 06/01/2020 19:43

I had mine about an hour ago, all good Smile
I feel relieved actually as I'd left it too long this time.
I used to be so anxious

VerbenaGirl · 06/01/2020 19:43

I had a large glass of wine before my first smear test to calm the nerves and help me to relax! Had many more since and it really is fine, breathe deeply and think of something nice - it’s over before you know it. Then treat yourself to something nice as a reward.