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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be scared of a smear

156 replies

NotHereToMakeFriends · 06/01/2020 16:23

Hey MNetters,

So I've been putting off having a smear test (for years) because I'm terrified of having one. If I felt like something was wrong I would have gone but I'm terrified of having one and I've shown no symptoms of anything serious. Every time I see people (I.e Zoe Sugg) have one or talk about one it looks so uncomfortable.

AIBU for being worried about it?

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 06/01/2020 22:32

I don't agree. They're a bit more pushy and sucky than that.
I don't enjoy injections either, probably ona par.

StealthPolarBear · 06/01/2020 22:33

Take your pojnt that it's unpleasant and uncomfortable more than painful though

VestaTilley · 06/01/2020 22:37

Honestly, it really is fine- what is it that's scaring you? Do you use tampons? It's like that but lying down, with a female nurse. If you've ever had an STD checkup it's exactly the same.

There are legitimate reasons why survivors of sexual abuse find it difficult, but for anyone else it really is just something you just do- far better than cervical cancer.

I've had a punch biopsy and LLETZ biopsy down there with no general anesthetic - and that was a lot more involved, but still not that bad. Odd cells were found as a result of a smear and I'm so glad I got it sorted.

Get your smear - then treat yourself to a glass of wine afterwards.

PurpleDaisies · 06/01/2020 22:40

There are legitimate reasons why survivors of sexual abuse find it difficult, but for anyone else it really is just something you just do- far better than cervical cancer.

Well done for writing off all those women who experience severe pain as not having a legitimate reason for not going.

It’s not a choice between smear or get cervical cancer. Individual women need to consider the risks and benefits for themselves.

katewhinesalot · 06/01/2020 22:54

My smear discovered my stage one cervical cancer. It was caught early enough so that a hysterectomy and removal of lymph nodes was enough. I didn't even need chemo or radiotherapy.
I dread to think what would have happened, and when it would have been discovered, if I hadn't gone for my smear test when I did.

I might not even be here writing this.

CluelessNewMama · 06/01/2020 22:56

If I felt like something was wrong I would have gone but I'm terrified of having one and I've shown no symptoms of anything serious

The point of smear tests is to catch things early, before symptoms are present so treatment has the best chance of working.

I personally haven’t ever felt particularly uncomfortable during any smear tests, but I get that it might be different for you. Either way, it’s just one of those things we have to do. I feel the same way about going to the dentist, but still force myself to get an annual check up because I’d rather deal with short term discomfort than potentially much bigger issues in the future.

PuppyMonkey · 07/01/2020 08:44

The discomfort is the same as if someone put a cold coke can on the back of your neck.

Confused Not for all of us clearly.

Strongmummy · 07/01/2020 08:47

You’re not being unreasonable because you have an anxiety. This anxiety is irrational tho because having a smear could potentially save your life. Please go and speak to your nurse or doctor about it and they can talk you through it. Perhaps take a friend to hold your hand. I find them a bit uncomfortable but they last a matter of minutes. I’ve had pre cancerous cells a couple of times (20 years apart) and they were removed with no issue.

Louulz · 07/01/2020 08:55

OP I've just had my first, my appt was 8.40 and I'm already out, super quick.

The speculum was a bit uncomfortable but not painful, she used a smaller one, and the brush was just a bit of pressure literally not even uncomfortable - that was the bit I was scared of.

Good for you for booking in!

I was expecting a urine test though that's what I'd heard happens now but she didn't take one. Is it only some places that test urine first atm?

LittleMissV989 · 07/01/2020 13:17

Hello @NotHereToMakeFriends I understand your worries about a smear test. I was worried myself, but I bit the bullet and went ahead. The Nurse was lovely as I'm sure they all are. It didn't really hurt just uncomfortable for about 30 seconds. There is a huge campaign now for it. Please please please go and have your smear. It really wont be as bad you think I promise and it might save you life. You dont always have to have symptoms to know there's something wrong x

LittleMissV989 · 07/01/2020 13:19

@NotHereToMakeFriends Sorry I didn't read ahead. I've just seen you've booked it. Well done you that's amazing :) you will be fine let us know how it went. X

Likethebattle · 07/01/2020 13:29

Cervical cancer is a silent killer. By the time you have symptoms it’s usually advanced. I don’t enjoy it but they are professional and quick.

Ponoka7 · 07/01/2020 13:31

I've voted YANBU, because like you, I was terrified and I was overdue a smear by six years.

Then I had post menopause bleeding issues and had no choice. I was amazed at the difference, now, as opposed to years ago. I have a tilted womb and post menopausal issues. But it wasn't painful, as such.

It is uncomfortable, I used the same breathing exercises as in early labour Grin, I warned and apologised to the nurse ahead of time for this.

The Nurse did say that I could have relaxants, if needed. But that would have meant coming back, so I thought I'd get it over and done with.

I'll be ok to go for my next one.

Well done for booking it.

CaptainNancy1 · 07/01/2020 13:44

Don't put off having a smear test! I'm undergoing treatment for vaginal cancer (which is a rare one) picked up by a routine smear test. If it was left undetected it would have been a lot worse. Having a smear test is a free service and yes it might be a bit uncomfortable for a short while but it's important to have it carried out.

StealthMama · 07/01/2020 13:54

Well done @NotHereToMakeFriends like most things we are fearful of the actual event will likely be much less scary than how you have built it up in your mind.

Another one here v grateful for them after they found grade 3 pre cancer cells. I was treated quickly and remain all clear. They also confirmed I don't have the hpv virus but, cancers can still occur.

Do your best to relax, and if you're worried about pain speak to the nurse when you go in.

VirginiaCreeper · 07/01/2020 13:54

I don't get these threads and my patience has diminished since having cancer. Not cervical but involving many, many very painful and seriously unpleasant treatments.
I really just want to say grow up and get on with it. Even if it was excruciatingly painful it's a potential life saver. No one likes these things but it's like the dentist - a necessary evil. Actually no, it's much more important than the dentist.

Rachelfromfriends1 · 07/01/2020 15:42

@VirginiaCreeper What a rude & unsympathetic post. There’s many reasons why women may find exams painful and unpleasant - disgustingly dismissive of you to state “grow up.” You might have cancer but judging by your complete lack of emotional intelligence you probably haven’t been a victim of sexual abuse or a painful gynaecology medical problem; hence why you don’t “get” this thread. Logically these are the patients that may struggle with smears and feel anxious the most, but hey let’s just tell them to “grow up and get on with it” Hmm

DarlingNikita · 07/01/2020 15:48

Well done for booking it, OP. They can be unpleasant, I won't lie, but they're important. Maybe see if you can talk to a nurse or GP beforehand about your concerns? And you could discuss taking a painkiller or relaxant.

VirginiaCreeper, you could try to be more sensitive. A lot of people find things like smears difficult for many reasons. Telling people to 'grow up' just makes you sound like a tit.

samlh · 07/01/2020 15:58

OP - YANBU for being worried about it. It's petrifying and the fear of the unknown is damn right anxiety inducing.

Since I have been able to, I have had my smear tests. My Mum however didn't. She would always find an excuse, or generally forget that she was so overdue. She died in October aged 51 from Cervical cancer (well it was the sepsis and kidney failure that killed her because her body was too weak for the second lot of chemotherapy that she chose to have to try and extend her life by at least a couple of months for her 3 children - my youngest brother is 14).

If she had gone for her smears, they would have caught the abnormalities early and she would still be here to welcome her first grandchild to the world (SIL is pregnant), to have watched me get married a month ago and to see her 14 year old son grow into an adult and live his life with both of his parents.

If you are concerned, speak to the nurse or doctor beforehand and see if they advise any preparation that you could do?

If it's embarrassment that's making you worry, trust me, they see hundreds of vaginas a week, yours will just be one of many.

I know my reply has been a bit self pitying, but I am just trying to get the worst case scenario across to you. Good luck as i've seen that you have booked it and WELL DONE! :)

VirginiaCreeper · 07/01/2020 16:24

I have had a painful gynae problem as it happens. I just think that the more you dwell on the prospect the worse it gets. I genuinely do think that making a fuss over such fears isn't helpful to the patient.

JaneDarcy · 07/01/2020 16:27

I just had one today. Not painful. Not even uncomfortable. Just a bit odd. Like someone else poking their finger up your nose.

DarlingNikita · 07/01/2020 16:28

People aren't 'making a fuss'; we're offering support, sympathy and some practical suggestions.
I'll say again: telling people to 'grow up' about it is unhelpful as well as very rude and insensitive.

Slippingcareer · 07/01/2020 16:29

Different to most of the views here but I find it extremely painful, and it can take a few attempts to get it done successfully. However it’s only once every 3 years and the nurse has always done everything she can to help me. Useful tip: laughing during it (I laugh when nervous) helped my muscles relax and made it less painful!

Userwhatevernumber · 07/01/2020 16:39

Yanbu op

I hate the way people minimise and dismiss the pain and discomfort and brush it off as nothing.

Prior to having my first smear, and he only sexual encounters I had had down there was abuse and rape.

It wasn’t slightly uncomfortable as people always say, it was extremely painful, traumatic and a horrid experience. The nurses I had were not sympathetic at all. When it was really hurting, she told me it shouldn’t be hurting so much and asked me ‘have you even had sex at all?’ She told me I was ‘tight’ down there. In hindsight I should have complained.

My next one (which was after therapy, counseling, and a loving relationship) was not so bad at all - the opposite experience

I’d say, get it done, but don’t be afraid to tell them your story and be kind to yourself. Ask if there is something you could take to help you relax.

Original poster
NotHereToMakeFriends · 07/01/2020 16:40

@JaneDarcy I love the analogy haha

OP posts: