Baby sleeping on Tummy - AIBU

[cliffsofabandon]

I'm part of a online mums group. Lots of babies are having issue settling and sleeping at night (babies range from 12-4 weeks) a couple of mums have posted that they let their babies sleep on their front at night not just for supervised naps

AIBU to think that this is still considered dangerous with regards to SIDS risk? I mentioned it wasn't the current advice and even tho I know my baby would sleep much better on their front as with all my kids I put them down on their backs and deal with the sleep issues that come with that ... the members of the group who do let their baby tummy sleep said I was being precious and silly. That they slept on their fronts as babies and are fine so just because I already have babies and they are FTM I shouldn't belittle their parenting choices and as mums they know best

I didn't mean to belittle anyone's choices I just have always thought tummy sleeping was considered a risk but maybe I'm wrong and am being "precious"

It's a personal choice but the advice to put babies to sleep on their back has massively reduced SIDS. SIDS is the most common cause of infant death. See the graph [[https://safetosleep.nichd.nih.gov/activities/SIDS/progress here]] to show how dramatic the affect is. Thousands of babies a year die from SIDS so you're not being precious.

I put mine down on their backs. Once they where old enough to roll onto their tummies I left them to it.

I let my twins sleep on their stomachs now because they are 5 months old and can roll over. They also have very good head control.

I always laid them on their back when they were newborns and before they could roll because I know this is the advice.

At the same time, when we started bed sharing at 3 months they slept on their sides facing my husband and I with our arms round them. This worked for us and I had no concerns.

I agree you are right but we are all just doing what we need to do to survive. I had read other mums saying their baby would only sleep on their belly and they have let their babies sleep on their belly from a young age because otherwise no one was sleeping.

All mine would only sleep on tummies No other risk factors and all had strong neck muscles. But I wouldn't tell someone else what to do either way

You are correct that is the current SIDS guidelines. I have an 8 week old and for the first 10 days he would not settle on his back, after persevering and taking it in turns with my DH to sleep he is now a great sleeper and is happy on his back. It is however, their baby so their choice to do what works for them. You have told them it is against current guidelines it is up to them whether they act on it.

Youre right that it does increase SIDS risk. Being a mum doesnt mean they know best, but people are very touchy about this sort of thing (personally I think because they know its risky and dont want to be reminded) so now that you've mentioned it once I would just leave it.
Luckily, SIDS risk is very low for all babies so going against the guidelines may increase the risk but doesnt make it a certainty. Chances are your friends babies will be fine, but personally I wouldnt risk it.

Yes once my other kids have been able to roll themselves then they've slept on their tummies of that the position they choose to be in but babies 12 weeks or younger just scares me with the SIDs risk.

My eldest didn't sleep at all no matter what I tired so I know the sheer desperation of doing anything to get some sleep but to me it just seems so risky.

Maybe I'm just old fashioned by sticking to the guidelines

Tummy sleeping is a known contributed to SIDS.

so is co sleeping though and MNers bloody love recommending co sleeping.

I think some people would rather take the SIDS risk if it means their baby sleeps through the night, because “it won’t happen to them”. Simple as that.

Back for sleeping is the guidelines.

It's also one I ignored. DS1 wouldnt sleep on his back - he literally screamed the second you put him on his back, so only slept in my or DHs arms, day or night. After waking, unexpectedly , with him in my bed with duvets, pillows and all sorts of unsafe stuff from unplanned co-sleeping at 3 weeks, we tried him on his front. I could get a 40 min sleep cycle out of him. So I survived the next 4 months generally only ever sleeping for 39 mins at a time, except for a couple of hours pist hus cluster feed, when DH sat with him while I slept for 3 hrs each evening. At 4 months, he occasionally stretched to over an hour.
For us, we decided front sleeping in his own space was probably the best of a bad set of possibilities.

At one time babies were put on their sides with blankets behind them to stop them rolling back. Then it was front sleeping, now apparently it's back sleeping, who knows what will be next?

My DD9 slept on her tummy from about 2-3 months she wouldn't sleep on her back. It worried me but over sids risk factors were low, she slept in for next to me, we are non-smokers. It was a risk but it was the right thing for her. I did discuss with HV

Yabu for trying to tell other mums what to do.

They probably already knew about the sleeping on back / sids thing already but for whatever reason have decided to do their own thing - I don't know what good you thought your comments would achieve.

Sids has many, many factors beyond back-sleeping and parents are allowed to use their own judgment and weigh things up.

(FWIW I always put my baby to sleep on his back when he was little!)

so is co sleeping though and MNers bloody love recommending co sleeping

EDUCATE YOURSELF FFS

INCORRECT co sleeping causes for death. following co sleeping guidelines makes co sleeping just as safe as a baby in the same room in their own bed. That’s why so many countries who advocate co sleeping and educate people on doing it correctly have much lower SIDS rates than us. so sick of people peddling this ignorant shit.

DD2 rolled by 4 weeks (missing a hand so easier to go over that side) and as soon as you put her down, awake or asleep she rolled over. Not much I could do.

@firstimemamma I didn't tell them what to do just mentioned the sids risk. After reading the thread on the baby has made fed where their were lots of comments on sids risk for one of the babies and then the mum featured coming on the thread and saying no actually no one had told her safe sleeping guidelines I was surprised that was the case so thought I'd mention it just in case.

The back to sleep campaign has coincided with a reduction in SIDs rates.

DC1 slept beautifully on their back and is still a back/ side sleeper now.

DC2 though didn't agree and refused to sleep on their back from a few weeks old. Refused.

They would sleep on their tummy in their cot, attached to my bed for about an hour, hour and a half. They would sleep on their tummy on me for about 3 hours. On their tummy in their cot was the safest option available to me.

They still sleep on their tummy, face down into the mattress as a toddler.

Mentioning the risk is implying that they should be doing things a certain way though isn't it. One of the many reasons I'm not on face book, I can steer well clear of all of this!

@Witchend well yes but if they can roll that's different isn't it. I've always been told if and when they can get themselves in and out of a front position because of rolling it's fine to leave them but to purposely place them on their front because they want a full nights sleep regardless of the sids risk just didn't sit right with me. In my mind it's completely normal for new borns 12 weeks and younger not to sleep all night. I've had an awful sleeper (woke every hour or more and screamed the place down) and a great sleeper but even then my great sleeper woke up occasionally at night because that's normal

Maybe I'm BU then about the guideline a 🤷🏻‍♀️

Averyyounggrandmaofsix

Back to sleep guidelines have been in place since the early 90s. The rate of SIDS dropped from over 1800 children a year to around 600, in the space of a few years with the introduction of the back to sleep campaign.

Your comment makes it seem like it’s just a fad. It’s not, it’s saved thousands of lives. My parents dismissed the guidelines in the same manner (despite my cousins son dying from SIDS) saying ‘it’ll change back to our way soon’. I never let them babysit as I didn’t trust them.

I had mine in the 80's and the advice then was all babies should lie on their tummies. My son had great head control from birth and could lift his head and move it from one side to the other so that was ok but babies who couldn't do that I can imagine it was a bit risky.

You're far from being precious OP.

Of course the risk is small but I could never live with myself if something had happened to one of my children because I'd knowingly failed to follow the guidance. The lack of sleep is hard is but it's just not worth the risk.

People are naturally defensive about their choices though, especially when they know they aren't following best practice.

crispysausagerolls

The NHS specifically mentions co sleeping as a factor in SIDS rates. Not safe/unsafe. Co sleeping. The advice is not to co sleep. Not to co sleep safely.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/sudden-infant-death-syndrome-sids/

Also to add the mums who are placing their babies on the front haven't had any sleep issues just chose to do it that way from birth because they wanted the sleep. They posted advise to mums who are having issues settling babies saying we've not had any issues because we put baby x on their tummy to sleep and we get full nights sleep that way

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Actually safe cosleeping doesn’t increase SIDS risk. Lullaby Trust have just updated their guidelines for parents to reflect this - www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping/