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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to let my 8 year old wax her legs?

96 replies

ReverieMe · 05/01/2020 08:58

NC for this as I am totally surprised by my post as it feels slightly insane ..

My 8 year old daughter is happy and confident. She’s already very sporty, plays lots of sports her school consider ‘boys sports’, not got a ‘best friend’ at school but never seems lonely. At parents evening, teacher says that she plays well with everyone but doesn’t need friend validation. (Feel like this is relevant as she’s not one to listen to ‘peer pressure’ as such.)

Anyway, recently she has mentioned a few times how embarrassed she feels about her hairy legs (they are, admittedly, very hairy). She is desperate to get rid of the hairs and it’s making her feel so worried about the summer and wearing short socks as she ‘hates the way they look’. She’s so upset. Very out of character.

My initial, feminist, why should kids feel these ridiculous patriarchal body image standards, reaction was to talk to her about how we are all different, to think about the amazing things her legs can do like run and jump etc etc. But. Months of that chat and she still feels the same.

So I turn to Mumsnet and a search and a similar thread a couple of years ago and almost every reply says let the daughter in question shave the legs.

I am totally torn, surely if I’m teaching her about body autonomy, this is her choice?! Why should she feel crap about her hair as frankly, I’m not sure it’s my job to single handily fight the good fight in favour of not wanting to remove body hair as I shave mine and have done since I was about 11!

Please help my quandary oh Mumsnet wise people.

YABU - don’t let her get rid of the hair
YANBU - let her get rid of the hair

OP posts:

Isadora2007 · 05/01/2020 09:14

My gymnast dd has been shaving her legs since around that age. She uses the all in one wet razor called intuition which I buy off amazon on a monthly delivery. She is 10.5 and can do it alone now. I helped to begin with. She doesn’t really need to shave more than once a week yet as although she is a hairy wee thing it doesn’t grow that much. She’d hate getting waxed.

Littleshortcake · 05/01/2020 09:16

I would totally let her remove the hair (veet is very effective and no cuts).

CaptainCaveMum · 05/01/2020 09:16

My daughter was very self-conscious about hairy legs. And I felt the same way as you. But I also had horrible memories of being teased. And I believe body autonomy is really important. So we discussed all the options.
We used Veet. She found it really uncomfortable and itchy but it did the trick. That was a year ago and she’s done it once more since. I think knowing that she is in charge of her body (and how hairy it is or isn’t) has made her more comfortable with not having to remove the hairs all the time. Also they definitely grew back fairer and finer.

dementedpixie · 05/01/2020 09:18

At this time of year I only shave legs and pits once every 2 weeks. Dd shaves less often than me. We like the olay blades as they have little soap bits built in.

champagneandfromage50 · 05/01/2020 09:20

My DD has very dark hair on her arms and legs and I would find her trying to pluck them out with her fingers. She also had dark hair on her upper lip. So it was immac for the arms and legs and threading for the upper lip. She was so much happier when we put a routine in place to manage it

TweetUsOnFacebook · 05/01/2020 09:22

No problem at all if she feels the need to remove leg hair. I can't imagine waxing the delicate skin of an 8 year old though. I would be a bit worried about that.

My dd shaves with shaving cream in the bath. She tried hair removal cream but found it was missing bits, probably due to being to impatient with it.

Bluetrews25 · 05/01/2020 09:24

Very hard to cut yourself with an electric razor, and she can do it as often as she wants.
It's her hair. She does not like it. Is she not allowed to do what she wants to her own body to make herself feel better? Especially as it does not harm her or anyone else? Who cares if others don't notice? She does! (And I bet all the other girls will make comments.)

justinhawkinsnavalfluff · 05/01/2020 09:26

My daughter is in completely the same position. Thanks OP for starting this thread.

TheUnquestionedAnswer · 05/01/2020 09:30

My dd shaved her arms and legs at about that age. She was very conscious that she had hair where her friends didn't. Let her do it, or take her to be waxed.

PleaseHushNow · 05/01/2020 09:31

Get a lumea and use it on her legs properly. Painless and will last weeks.

Comtesse · 05/01/2020 09:36

8 seems very young, I don’t think I could do it for my kid - sorry. Also I think it is a joke to say shaving your legs is a feminist choice. I do shave but recognise it’s patriarchy/ beauty myth thing to do.

DickDewy · 05/01/2020 09:37

Yes. Absolutely.

Get them waxed though, don’t encourage her to shave. I’d also recommend a Lumea if her hair is dark.

LL83 · 05/01/2020 09:39

In general should 8 year olds shave their legs no of course they shouldn't.

But for your specific 8 year old it seems like the right choice.

Personally I wouldn't wax as it is more painful. But whatever you think is most manageable for your dd will be fine.

dementedpixie · 05/01/2020 09:39

I've never ever waxed my legs or anywhere else except my eyebrows. Nothing wrong with shaving

undercoveraessedai · 05/01/2020 09:41

Yes absolutely help her remove it if it's what she wants, but have a chat about methods. I used to have mine waxed but as a dancer hated having to let the growth get to a certain length before I could get it waxed again, so shifted to shaving (and immac for my bikini line although hopefully your DD doesn't want or need to do that yet!).

She's young, and I wish we didn't want to remove hair, but it's not worth her being unhappy and/or stoppint doing things she loves because of it!

IdblowJonSnow · 05/01/2020 09:49

Yanbu.
However waxing is agony, no?
Whatever method doesn't hurt?

AmazingBouncingFerret · 05/01/2020 09:50

I bought my daughter the spray on veet stuff which was very effective. My mum bought her an electric razor for Christmas though because hair removal cream was quite expensive and she never used it sparingly!

okiedokieme · 05/01/2020 09:50

I would not wax yet, I doubt salons would do it so young anyway but an electric razor or cream is fine to start with, it's her decision and if she wants to them it's fine (many of us were simply lucky to start puberty late, my DD's were 15&16 respectively for first period so hair was a lot later)

username198372 · 05/01/2020 09:50

Your dd does sound like a confident child who knows what she wants with healthy awarness. Please let her do it. What's the worst that can happen? If done correctly, and I am sure you will help her find a good professional place, then it's not a big deal. It's only waxing! Hair grows back, decision can be turned if she feel it's not for her.

I agree with all the comments above about body image and feeling good about yourself is more important so will not repeat..

I would not recommend creams or shave. Shaving will only thicken the hair and encourage faster growth and cream is such a fuff imo, but waxing reduces/weakens the hair over time.

The only issue I have is the continued costs and commitment that will bring. It's hard enough for an adult to keep up with smoothness...Maybe after couple of years consider Lazer or IPL? I was in my 40s when finally decided to do it and was the happiest person!!
I vowed that my gift to my dd (also fairly hairy) when she finished school would be the lazer treatments to get rid of her hair for life! (if she wants of course, she is too young now to discuss this), saving her years of costly waxing, pain and trying to juggle appointments between career, kids etc...

But of course it's a higher cost and ones decision of what works best for them. Also, not sure if Lazer/ipl is allowed for kids under 18??...anyway, best of luck!

dementedpixie · 05/01/2020 10:03

Shaving doesnt thicken hair or make it grow faster

SmallestInTheClass · 05/01/2020 10:12

My DD is a little older, but same issue. Can anyone recommend a good electric razor? They are useless on my thick, dark hair, but think it would be the perfect solution for her.

Ledkr · 05/01/2020 10:14

I found the little circular sand paper things much more kid friendly for my young dd. The hair is so fine it will.come off nicely and no stubbly regrowth.
You can buy in boots. Called silky mitt.

dementedpixie · 05/01/2020 10:15

We didnt find electric ones were very effective so dd tried a couple of times then switched to razors

diddl · 05/01/2020 10:15

It's very sad isn't it?

Being pulled into conforming to "beauty norms" at just 8.

I've always just shaved with an electric shaver.
Quick & easy.

Cremebrule · 05/01/2020 10:23

My mum did hair removal cream and helped me shave when I asked. If you don’t help her, she’ll find a razor and mangle her legs like lots of my friends did. Normally my mum was very old fashioned and babied me so I’m surprised she helped me but I’m glad she did.

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