To think I am not body shaming or ripping larger people off?

[BimBamBoomer]

I've NC because this is potentially outing!

I have my own tiny but fairly successful business making clothes. Mostly I make a few specific lines to order (via Etsy type websites) and have sizes 6-26 available. However I also have occasional sales on Facebook where I have a page and sale group. The sales are a mix of returned customer orders, things I made to the wrong size or colour by accident, slight seconds, unsold stock from events (festivals etc) and some one offs made with amazing material I've picked up or pieces I've upcycled. I tend to end up with most of my stock for the sales in sizes 10-16 just because a) that's what most people order so that's what I have most seconds of, b) if I'm making stock for an event I make more of the most popular sizes for obvious reasons, and c) if I get a bit of amazing material I try to make the most of it especially if it was expensive.

I've recently had my end of 2019 sale and since then have had a flurry of messages from unhappy larger people. I suspect I've been named and shamed somewhere as it's come out of the blue in the last week. They're not happy that I don't have enough stock in their size, and that the more unique one off pieces are mostly in the middle sizes. I've been replying explaining why and that they can order larger sizes from my standard range and have them made. If they wanted a replica of a one off they've seen, I can give a quote but it wont be cheap! But I've now had a few bad reviews on my page from people who think it's unfair that the some of the larger sizes cost more. I agonised over this but in the end felt I had to have sliding pricing on some items (not all - I charge the same for all sizes for about half my range). But a size 8 in some styles uses literally half the material of a size 24 - and I charge for materials plus an hourly rate for my time (at a rate that covers overheads etc). The materials I use aren't cheap and I don't know how to make this fair or how to answer the bad reviews. I'm quite upset and feel really down that people think this of me.

Am I body shaming, really and honestly?

@Ellybellyboo people can be such idiots sometimes!
"I don't care about your horse's welfare! What's important is you are making me in reality it's about someone who named you on our fb group and moan about this and I never actually touched a horse feel bad and so you suck"

Idiots🤷 Hope that situation is gone now. These people eventually tire themselves out

I can't believe someone actually called you "greedy" for wanting to make a profit on your business...

One sees this attitude quite a lot on MN. People are all against exploitation and in favour of a living wage in general, but when it comes to money coming out of their own pockets to pay a skilled person the proper rate for the job, they shout 'rip off'.

I get the "£40 to reshape the bodice? But I only paid £10 in primark for the dress" type comments all the time. I try to discuss cost potential before they even book an appt now, just to avoid wasting both our time. I'm past being amazed by folks not understanding why I charge more than minimum wage, and don't negotiate. That's the price, take it or leave it.

allergictoamop. Yes, it lasted for about a month then died a death.

At the time friend said she’d had a couple of queries from people who got very shitty when they were asked about their height and weight and refused to give it so she declined their bookings - about 3 days later she woke up one morning to dozens and dozens of negative reviews (plus loads of private messages) so it definitely seemed like a targeted thing

She put up a pinned post in the end explaining why she had weight and height limits and it seemed to stop it

Anyone who wants to learn to ride or knows the tiniest thing about horses knows that if you’re too heavy or too tall you can’t ride some horses - it was obvious that these people weren’t serious customers. Plus only a couple were from locals

Facebook removed most of them in the end

I was totally with you up until you said "If I make 10 things in size 20-26, I've used the material that could have made 15 in the 10-16" - That is ever so slightly unfair, almost greedy as you will most likely make more money from 15 10-16 pieces rather than 10 size 20-26 pieces (even with sliding prices).

Lol.

Don't be so ridiculous.

Sorry, I haven't time to read the whole thread but wanted to suggest this while I remember and apologise if this has already been said

Could you change the way that you charge for commissions so that your quote contains a cost for materials + cost for labour + p&p
So material @ £x per metre, y inch zip/z x buttons @ such-and-such pence each etc
You are the able to quote for cheaper fabrics/fastenings etc.

Not unreasonable.
I often think that's why places like Yours are more expensive... More material used!

Kids clothes still charge by size in loads of places, why? Because it makes sense that’s why. You are not body shaming or being unfair at all. Hold firm.

You are being reasonable. This is not fat shaming. They can pay more for bigger sizes that use more time and materials to make or do the healthy thing: lose weight so they are able to choose from a bigger range of average sized less expensive clothes. I don't care if that is fat shaming- I don't believe it is being kind to avoid the elephant in the room called obesity.

However, slim is considered superior by many, and I'd feel sad and embarrassed paying more to wear the same style in a larger size Slim IS superior! Have seen all the fat people waddling around using nobody aids or waiting in NHS waiting rooms to see heart and diabetic consultants! Being sad and embarrassed is the least of your problems!

...I'm still speechless about the part where someone called the most basic principle of business, i.e. wanting to maximise the profit you can make using your available resources, "greedy".

OP, I have to agree with those who suggest you drop doing off-the-rack for larger sizes altogether and just stock 8-18, with made-to-order for larger or smaller sizes, and in the meantime post a calm, professional stock reply to the complaints.

I am surprised people are surprised about the greedy comment😂 Don't you know you shouldn't charge more than a penny for your time and not actually want proper profit? Pay your mortgage in dresses, bank will surely take it

@Ellybellyboo so unpleasant these people. Glad she is ok. Morons...

I'm not surprised about the "greedy" comment. It's indicative of how little people nowadays understand or care (I suspect care is more accurate) about the true cost of making clothing. We're so used to being able to buy prom dress online for under £100 that we ignore (we don't forget, we deliberately ignore) that someone somewhere earned about 10p an hour to make the blasted thing. Then something like Rana Plaza happens and everyone's horrified. For five minutes, till it comes to them wanting something new to wear, that is....

YANBU OP and I'm a big girl.

But you should really be accomodating the additional costs for larger orders through the prices across your entire range. That is proper business practice and helps you avoid bigger losses for any mis-made larger or more valuable pieces too.

"you should really be accomodating the additional costs for larger orders through the prices across your entire range."

No,
as a one-person micro-company that doesn't work for her business model

It's not just the extra amount of material for larger sizes, but the fact they take much longer to sell than the average sizes

Her pricing policy of 3 different prices across the size range sounds sensible to reflect this.

Big companies like M&S can set prices for the average sizes to subsidise the much larger ,
but they have a huge - and loyal - customer base and the economy of scale, neither of which applies to the OP

A business exists to make profit and she won't make as much if she pretends that larger sizes don't cost her more in material and inventory

I presume the OP has already considered whether she could still sell enough of the small and average sizes
if she increased their prices to those of the largest sizes

I'd advise against giving a cost breakdown with material, work etc
as quantifying the material for different sizes is just as likely to be hurtful to some.

Keep calm and polite;
the complainers are unlikely to be serious customers,
but if you state that you would gladly create the sizes 20-26 on request, then that could bring in genuine customers.

However, slim is considered superior by many, and I'd feel sad and embarrassed paying more to wear the same style in a larger size

Larger sizes = more material and time = more cost. It's as simple as that. Why would someone else not absorbing that cost make anyone sad and embarrassed? It's logic, if you buy more of something it costs you more, you'd expect a 5 bedroom house to cost more than a 1 bedroom flat because it's bigger and used more materials to build.

Slim IS superior! Have seen all the fat people waddling around using nobody aids or waiting in NHS waiting rooms to see heart and diabetic consultants! Being sad and embarrassed is the least of your problems!

Disgusting attitude quite honestly, and one that leads to people feeling sad, embarrassed and ostracised - and helps no one except the 'superior' slim person feel even more superior. Slim is not superior, it's healthier, better for joints, health etc, it does not indicate a person's moral compass and does not automatically make them less than a thin person. If speaking to and about fat people like that actually worked then there would be no obesity crisis because everyone would have lost it all by now. I totally agree that people do need to take responsibility for their weight and the health impact it has, but pointing and shouting fatty isn't the way to do it. I suffered a fall 6 months ago which damaged my knee, I put on weight during the recovery period as I couldn't do the exercise I was used to, I also needed a stick to take the pressure off the knee while in early recovery. Now I'm recovered and exercising again the weight is coming off - but I was probably one of those fat people waddling around using a walking aid you describe. Maybe I should have just not let it recover and do more damage to retain my slim and superior status to appease the likes of you.

I'm a size 18/20. I have no issue paying more than someone who is a size 6/8. It's obvious that it takes more material etc.

It's also more than reasonable for you to stock more of the more impulse sizes.

Whoever is complaining are not bring realistic and fair to a small business.

I think the OPs business model is perfect.

But you should really be accomodating the additional costs for larger orders through the prices across your entire range. That is proper business practice and helps you avoid bigger losses for any mis-made larger or more valuable pieces too.

How if the bigger sizes aren’t selling and taking more time and effort? OP is one person, not a major company.

Yanbu! As a fellow fatty bum bum you are not shaming at all, of course its going to cost more if you size is double of that. The reason why m&s and various other business can charge the same price is one the bulk buy and get good deals for buying materials, 2 it is bespoke theres only you. 3 these big business all have sweat shops in Pakistan where the staff are paid poorly. You should put up a pinned notice to reflect why you charge your prices in other words if they cant understand this then off they can trot to buy it unethicaly cheaper . Please reply calmly and state this to these moronic reviews I can guarantee when other people read your explanation they will be all laughing at the miffed customer.

Oh I've also been their st my heaviest at 22 stone but I'm currently down to 12 stone after a weight gain in a year due to depression I was a size 10 and weighed 9 stone, even at my heaviest I never blamed the shops for charging me more or not having my sizes in I blamed myself, those people that have said you have shamed them they feel embarrassed because they havnt yet taken responsibility for themselves they blame everyone else rather than themselves, I'm hoping to loose 15 kg to get myself back to my lightest , it was my fault

You are not body-shaming. If you sell via Etsy and similar sites, it should be obvious you are making bespoke clothing as an individual crafter. I am not a seamstress but I know for a fact that it uses fewer balls of yarn and less time to hook or knit a sweater for a size 6 than a size 26. There is a quantifiable difference even between one pair of dress sizes eg size 6 versus 8. (Even if you use the same number of balls of yarn, there will be more leftovers with a smaller size and it will take less time.) Frankly, I'm surprised you don't have more than 3 price points.

I'm a size 10 does that mean I can get offended that because I don't get to the next sale at 5am there's only size 18+ left by 9am! No course not! What a stupid load of bollocks. You're sale-ing off what you have left! Well done on your business ignore the fools!