To wonder how you would give DC the best life ever if money was no object?

[Ifimnottheone]

Before anyone says anything, this is of course not saying that money buys happiness, of course not. This is assuming that the child has a loving family, etc.

So, if you had unlimited amounts if money, how would you give your children the best life ever.

My list would be:

1. The best education money could buy.
2. Access to whatever extra-curricular activities/tutoring they desired.
3. A spacious, comfortable house with their own bedroom.
4. Regular travelling
5. Days out

Am I missing anything?

Move somewhere like Finland or Sweden - good schools, clean air etc. Other things like travelling & exploring the world, funding for university somewhere in the world etc

@TulipsTulipsTulips yes and no, we’re on a low income but try and give DD access to arts and culture. Things like libraries and museums are free but a lot of our local museums do toddler events that are lovely but cost about £5 a session, and it costs us £5 to get the bus into town as well. Theatre, ballet, music lessons, stuff like that, all cost money. You don’t need a fortune but it’s not available on everyone’s budget.

Surely giving your children your time has to be first priority, so at least one stay at home parent. IMO there is no substitute.
After that, I'd consider private education, but would never pick a school that instills on pupils the impression that they are the future leaders of this country or captains of industry etc. Ugh.
Access to as many extra curricular activities as they'd like.
A driver to take them all these places!
Own large bedroom and en-suite, which they would be responsible for cleaning, of course.
Once they were old enough, financial education and responsibility, eg the GoHenry card and app.

My first thought is quality parental time. So I'd be spending money on the parents, to help us be relaxed, fulfilled, positive, interesting and available in our best form, not frazzled. As well as covering what's needed to free up some parental time (not all, as work is fulfilling, useful and sets a good example).

Nice clothes snd stuff, only to the extent it's needed and allows them to fit in with their peer group. I think being oddly ostentatious can be as excluding as lacking what everyone else takes for granted.

A welcoming home. Somewhere they'd be happy to bring their friends, where they know what to expect and what's expected, can relax, rely on a friendly reception and know they'll find fun things to do. That might not seem to be about money but I think it partly follows from freeing up the parents to be cheefully present, as above (and/or being able to pay in-house childcare).

This post has made me realise how lucky we are really.(and taking it for granted) We both work jobs that allow us to be home A LOT , no mortgage and we are lucky enough to live on a few acres with a woodland, near mountains (10-15min drive) and the the sea also (5min)

As I said I wouldn’t choose private school even with all the money in the world, they go to a great village school.

TRAVEL would definitely be something I would do more of.

We have a cat, I just don’t want a dog...yet.

University wise they are sorted too so they are very lucky little people.

A fully organic diet.

All the Lego

A treehouse

A counsellor to see them through the teen years.

A piano and harp.

I think if we were mega rich we either wouldnt work, or we'd outsource more of the boring bits of our lives to just have more fun with them

I would set their dad up in a house of his own nearby. Everyone happy.

Mine had:
Days out (walks, picnics, seaside)
Music lessons
Art and culture (galleries and theatre)
Good (state) schools
University education
Holidays (camping)
Driving lessons (priority) and a banger though they had to pay insurance.
Part time jobs (paper round/shelf stacking)

All on my one income because 'D'H has never had much work in him - or child care. Not even sure if he'll be eligible for a state pension in two years.

I can't give them an inheritance (renting due to circumstances as immediately above) or deposit for their own house but they're both full time and saving now.

If I could do anything now I'd give them a good deposit.

I would sail the world with them for about 10 years. Take a tutor with us but just go and see and experience stuff

My time. DH and I have plenty of money o afford all the things in OPs list but sometimes it's at the expense of time and i question daily whether we have the balance right.

Nothing is perfect/grass greener & what have youm

I would travel, but not in 5* luxury and I wouldn't let my dc ever feel entitled. I wouldn't allow them access to money until they were at least 30 as I think it can strip an individual of ambition and work ethic.

1. Both DH and I thoroughly enjoy our work. So we would both go part time (4 days a week each) plus my job is relatively flexible. So it would ensure that we were intellectually fulfilled but they had our attention.
2. I would outsource all the housework except the cooking because I like cooking! So things like laundry and cleaning. I would get a cleaner in twice a week or more.
3. More music opportunities for DS1 who is v musically talented.
4. Lots and lots of travelling. My kids have travelled a lot, but I would love to do more.
5. And private health insurance. DS2 has slightly complex health needs. Fingers crossed he will outgrow them but we have had long and close encounters with the NHS and we are very grateful for what they do (and they also employ DH) but we also know it is on its last legs and it worries us.

The kids go to private school and have a TON of books so those are not on this particular list. The person who asked about the entitlement thing- that’s a very good point. I like to think we are grounded in our values- the kids have lots of chores to do, we are pretty strict with them, and with DS1 who is older we regularly discuss politics and current affairs. We also talk a lot about how privileged they are (not in a shaming way). They also travel frequently to Asia and have seen a lot of poverty in our home country which has led to both of them asking a lot of questions (which we try and answer honestly without sensationalism). I would like to think money wouldn’t change the values we pass on to them.

More time.
Larger home with bigger rooms.
Pet dogs & cats.
A pair of horses.
More siblings.
Foreign holidays.
Not financially related but... some cousins the same age as my kids to visit and play with.

I know this wasn’t the point of this thread but can I say that it’s made me realise that my dcs have had a pretty good childhood, which I hadn’t really realised before. It’s really helped me see the light in dark times.

I would model a good healthy work ethic by working despite all the money. And philanthropy. Wouldn't want the kind of spoilt bastards this thread would create.

I think its really important to understand that there is no "best" in parenting. Only "best under the circumstances".
Also that my DC have benefited from things specific to a working class environment
(playing out, running between friends houses, being taken on tenants union business, youth club on the estate)

Having said that DS has a touch of Aspergers and struggles to concentrate in a noisy classroom. Sometimes I think he would do better in a private school with smaller class sizes.

Its interesting how many people have said sahp or similar, yet on the more w/c threads or lower income threads its so often criticised if one parent works less/not at all.

We are very average income but I havent worked fulltime and in fairly low paid jobs, but as many in our area do its given children the gift of time with a parent, less time in after school care, time for clubs and interests. We live in a lovely area for exploring so lots of ourdoor activity is available not too far away.

There's lots Id do with a huge income and financial safety would make a huge difference to stress levels, but its bizarely reassuring to see that those at lower incomes can access a lot on the list due to not having both parents working crazy hours. (Obviously if both do and theres a higher income things like the expensive lessons, healthcare and holidays/travelhouse deposit) can be accessed instead).

I'd buy private mental health care for me, fitness help, food help. A housekeeper. The kids lives are great at the moment, but would buy a house with more space and have savings for their future/our old age so as to ease burden.

No matter how rich I was I wouldn't send them to a private school. We could afford to do it now but won't. Only the privileged top 7 % of society go to private schools and I wouldn't want them ONLY to mix in those circles. I know several people who went to private school. They all have pretty normal jobs - teacher, a nurse, one works for government (middle management) so I don't believe private school always leads to exceptional career success. I know plenty of people who went to state schools and have done amazingly well. I went to a very deprived comprehensive school in a poor area and I consider that part of my education - just witnessing how other kids suffered and struggled compared to me was a real eye opener abd has shaped my social conscience. I remember 2 of my friends who attended private school really seemed to look down on poorer kids and would mock their clothes, their houses, the professions of the parents etc. I decided there and then never to send my future kids to private school. I still feel it strongly now - just look at the Conservative cabinet of privately educated millionaires who have absolutely no understanding of how poorer people live and the challenges they face. I actually don't think you need a lot of money to give kids a wonderful childhood. I agree it's nice to have a comfortable home of course, and travelling is great but really they need lots of love, attention and boundaries. All my most magical memories from childhood were my dad taking us on adventures in the countryside near where we lived. He'd tell us detailed stories of monster and elves that lived there. He'd take us out at night to see bats and badgers. He enriched our childhood with his amazing imagination every day. My mum was so loving, kind and strong. I always felt safe and secure. I try and recreate aspects of my own magical childhood for my own kids. NONE of this had anything to do with money. Many of my friends were not at all wealthy but they had loving families and really happy childhoods.

I wouldn’t change much, my DC are grown up and my DH and I are very fortunate to have been able to send our 3 DC to good state schools (we moved to be in the right catchment area), a large house, three or four holidays a year, unlimited clubs and hobbies, I was a SAHM, days out every weekend and throughout the school holidays.
At the time I’m was so busy I never really took stock of things so it’s nice now 2 of my DC are at university and the older one works to think my DH and I did our best.

Reading this thread interested in how many say more time/ stay at home parent. I have a two year old and am currently underemployed - I am desperate for more money and more time to myself! He gets lots of our time but at some cost to my future earning, pension (what pension?) and credit utilisation.

If we didn’t have to think about money I would be in a slightly nicer area. I would bring back in Sure Start centres and magically invest in the NHS. Bringing a child up in a country with such growing and concerning income inequality is what makes my heart hurt. If I could fix that, I think it would make the world a better place for our family and my child.

I’ve no idea what he’s going to be like. Being able to take and make opportunities is important to me. So money for education but that doesn’t mean private school necessarily- I was a bright kid at a comprehensive and did fine. I think bright kids with supportive home environments generally tend to do ok.

I want to make sure he has enriching experiences: while I’m magically fixing the NHS I will bring back cultural activity into school and ditch some of this ridiculous curriculum. The opportunity to pursue whatever his talents turn out to be to their fullest, that’s what I want.

I want him to be kind and to be happy. Those things seem to come with a secure and happy family environment and we can do that with or without money.

Only the privileged top 7 % of society go to private schools and I wouldn't want them ONLY to mix in those circles

The majority of the people I know with kids in private school do so at the expense of other material things. They prioritise education above everything else and the main reason the children are in private school is due to having a poor state school in their catchment. The majority of their classmates are there for the same reason.

One child lives in a small two bed property in a very disadvantaged area. That child has now finished primary and secondary education and is studying for what you describe as an ‘ordinary’ job. My friend, his mother, is delighted. If he had attended the local school, she doubts he would have continued education to A levels let alone any further.

None of the children I know attend/attended elite private schools so perhaps that is the difference.

I would educate them at home, but with a proper governess/tutor. I think with a qualified instructor just doing one on one, they'll learn so much more!

Th eoriginal list is pretty much what I have been lucky enough to obtain for our 5 - private schools, no university loans and I would add a bit of help with a first property but not so much money they have no incentive to work. In a sense I planned this at 14 when I chose a career that paid better than others (law) and then did some things others may not want to do - graduated a teetotal virgin with law prizes, worked until I went into Labour , used 2 weeks or annual leave for a baby, back at work full time.

We all make different choices that suit us, those who have any choice at all.

The things that make a huge difference often are not related to money - were the parents drunk, were they abusive, did someone die, is a parent ill etc. Those things cross all income boundaries.

I can't think of anything I would have done different had I earned more money. Eg they could have gone to boarding schools but we and they chose some of the best private day schools simply I am not happy with the risks that some children are damaged by boarding school and I like to see my children in the evenings.

You get a lot of stick on here Xenia but I have a real respect for you. I do remind my dds to look for well paid jobs so they don't ever have to rely on a bloke. I think you've drummed it in to me over the years.