To wonder how you would give DC the best life ever if money was no object?

[Ifimnottheone]

Before anyone says anything, this is of course not saying that money buys happiness, of course not. This is assuming that the child has a loving family, etc.

So, if you had unlimited amounts if money, how would you give your children the best life ever.

My list would be:

1. The best education money could buy.
2. Access to whatever extra-curricular activities/tutoring they desired.
3. A spacious, comfortable house with their own bedroom.
4. Regular travelling
5. Days out

Am I missing anything?

Interesting mentions of giving DC more affluent lifestyles, not much mention of how to avoid spoiling and the whole 'entitled snowflake' syndrome

how to avoid spoiling and the whole 'entitled snowflake' syndrome

Keeping children deliberately short of money and nice life experiences doesn't do anything for them emotionally. If you have money, you can try and ensure that they realise that they are lucky and that not everyone has what they have. Give them an allowance and no more. Then it's up to them.

Two parents working part time.
Books!
Music lessons and fun time playing with other young musicians
Time outdoors in wild
Love and time
When you boil
It down it's obv about having a certain amount of money, but huge wealth won't make things any better.

Travel! I would go everywhere with them. We love watching those fantastic hotel programmes - like the one with the giraffes that roam about- we would go there. And to see the Northern Lights. Amazing private schools and deposits for houses.

I don't understand why the pp states that a sahp is better for children without backing that up with any evidence.

There are more factors involved in how well rounded or successful a child turns out.

Money were no object I'd quit work and stay with him all the time, as would DH

We would home school and travel the world

Personally I wouldn’t be a SAHP, I grew up with one and I think it’s better for both parents to work, so I’d go more part time, make sure DD had money for university and a house so when she’s an adult she can pursue any career she wants without having to take any job just to pay the bills.

I think it would be about investing in their future - so setting up pensions, a social care fund and housing. Then ensuring they had education they valued - eg study something they love not just something that might make the student loan worthwhile. I would also make sure me and their Dad's focus was home life not earning and being stressed about work.

It would ensure their life had less stress.
Highest level of Education
Private healthcare.
Fabulous holiday experiences.
The gift of means to help others.
A home of their own.
One can dream.

My brother is in this situation.

They have a lovely huge home, a cleaner so SIL can focus on two young DDs and they send them to private school.

His theory is to invest in them now with an excellent education so they can go on to be successful in life.

He is not planning on leaving them an inheritance, their house is their pension as he is self employed.

My brother is evidence you don’t need those things to be successful, we definitely grew up without them, But he gets the luxury of choice.

Dad's focus was home life not earning and being stressed about work
This too with mam included.
Life is passing quickly working hard to keep only keep afloat.

@Elefantelintheroom

Here are some studies to back up my statement
www.jstor.org/stable/10.1086/675070?seq=1

www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt1npz3r

This article summarises some of the varying studies and has links to them if you would like to read more
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/oct/02/nurseries-childcare-pre-school-cortisol

Obviously it's not black and white and there are multiple factors affecting a child's development (I didnt say there wasn't, incidentally) but - all else being equal- a stay at home parent can be beneficial for the development of a young child.

If money were no object
DH and I either working PT or not working. Nice food, two holidays a year, the local private school and lots of extra curricular activities. Uni paid for, generous deposits for a house.

I don’t think about ‘money being no object’ and ‘being stinking rich’ as the same thing though. So to me ‘money being no object’ is just a comfortable upper middle lifestyle, not having to manage a fortune of X amount and all the trappings that come with it - whilst desperately trying to stop DC becoming overly spoilt or unappreciative.

Lovely thread - good to think about for when I win the lottery😂
My time - no more breakfast & after school club & rushing around, home cooked healthy meals & packed lunches, walking to & from school. Regular playdates to help them with making settled friends.

Broad range of extra curricular - sport, music, drama, community

Family sign language classes at home (dd2 is deaf - speaks amazingly but I think it would give her another language)

Swimming lessons

Private secondary education if I could find the right school for dd1 (so happy at her lovely diverse primary I wouldn't move her)
somewhere with small classes for dd2.

The biggest dilemma for me would be where to live. Parents are by the sea & I would move dd2 (who is 5) tomorrow because she's so relaxed & happy there BUT everything apart from the beach is an effort/car journey and the access we currently have in our outer London suburb to museums, historic buildings, theatre, theme parks, concerts & parks & woodkands etc is great. Also the beach is 2hrs further away from their dad who sees them v regularly.

It would be amazing to have these decisions to make!!

@1AngelicFruitCake

Why not? What’s the purpose of working? Most of us do it because we need to be able to support ourselves but if you don’t need to earn a living surely there’s better ways to spend your time?

I encourage curiosity and passion, tell them to do the things they love: travel, paint, read, play instruments and sport. Find the joy in the small as well as the big.

They may choose to work, or may not. They might follow a passion or maybe they’ll take a traditional path. They can do as they wish and I think that’s the best gift in the world.

We are fortunate to be comfortable so do some of the things mentioned.

A housekeeper
More travel
A place in the country where the DC could free range

The post about natural outdoor space where creativity is key is a great one. I despise theme parks and ‘organised fun’ and sadly living in the city means so much playtime is spent indoors in play centres. When we visit family, we spend time everyday on the beach, regardless of the weather not least because there is not much else to do. We spend hundreds every month on organised activities yet when I ask my children what their favourite things to do are, they say playing on the beach and spending time together as a family.

With two young adults who have additional needs (autism and mental health related), I would use the money as a trust so they had a safe and comfortable place to live, with a wide range of activities and opportunities for friendship and some purposeful employment that was within their capabilities.

Of course, our social care system is supposed to provide this, but it does not and cannot, so whilst my children would be OK, I would have to live with the sobering thought that most individuals with substantial care needs, who have not got rich benefactors, would not be so fortunate.

For smaller children a home with some land that has woodland and streams and nice views and plenty of animals to tend so they can spend all day playing outside, using their imaginations and learning how to care for themselves in a safe space without constant adult supervision.

As they get older opportunities for travel and to try out their interests in whatever area that is with proper tutors and equipment.

Young adults - travel, educational opportunities that follow their interests so they can follow a career path that they want to pursue without worrying about if it will lead to well paid work. Deposit for a house.

Basically, I’d want them to learn self confidence and self reliance by giving them experience rather than cash flow but have the money to facilitate this through their childhood. It would also be nice not to be tied to the school system so private tutors to take with us when we travel, for example, so they can learn the subjects that interest them in proper depth.

Traveling would not be allowed

Due to the other recent thread which opposed frequent flying due to climate concerns

However, train, ferry was deemed ok

I would have paid for my sons to see ENT doctors privately so they could have their grommets put in/replaced when they needed them instead of waiting for years.

Massive house with their own bedrooms, a big playroom, softplay room, swimming pool. Big garden with an adventure playground, skate park and a racing track for bikes, go karts etc.

Housekeeper, cook, chauffeur. A part time nanny who would just be there as an extra pair of hands when we go out.

I would also have hired someone to bring me meals/drinks, push me to nicu in a wheelchair and sterilise the bottles for me when I was on the postnatal ward after my c-sections.

This has got me busily planning now!!
I'd....
Buy a huge house in a great area with outside space for them to run about, climb and camp out.
Give up work and hire staff to do housework so I could be unstressed and a fun mum.
Hire a personal chef, dietician, fitness trainer to get me into shape so I could physically keep up with them.
Travel loads, visit all the countries of the world with them (except the really unsafe ones)
Set up or get involved with some sort of charity work that helped them to learn to give and to appreciate what they have.

We are sort of in this position and I’d like to say thank you to all those on this thread who said SAHP as I have spent much of the past year feeling a bit rubbish about the fact I’m a SAHP - more a reflection on my mental state than reality, but this has all helped me (re!) realise the value in it.

For me it’s not so much about private education but that we can choose to send each child to the school that is right for them. That happens to be private so far but doesn’t have to be.

However, we feel extraordinarily lucky that we were able to look round a number of schools - all very good on paper - and know that our kids could go to the ones that really suited them best as individuals.

DH would like more help round the house but I refuse as think it’s important for kids to see us parents cooking, doing laundry etc.

Most foreign travel has been axed by me as we can’t get to many places overseas without flying but also because the kids are just as happy playing in our local forests as they are anywhere else. When they’re bigger that will probably change.

I don’t think I’d really change anything about their lives except see family more often as we are far away from all family. But that would entail more flying so...

personal trainer.

of course private education.