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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so hurt and upset by this

89 replies

Shaminon · 03/01/2020 20:48

I have had to resign from my job due to what can only be described as impossible management conditions. It felt very like being manoeuvred out of a job. It's been upetting I've got another job to move on to.

It was my penultimate day today. I wanted to make good and leave on a personally positive note as I've worked closely and well for a number of years with my colleagues. I wrote everyone in our small team an individual card to say thank for the time together and left some presents and sent a goodbye email to saying I'd left cards and I wished everyone well as I am not sure who will be there on my last day.

Our team leader wrote a response to this saying my contribution was 'unique' and that I had a 'fun and smiley persona'. It was copied to the whole team.

I really hope that the word 'persona' was a typo for 'personality' as otherwise I'm at a loss as how myself or the whole team are meant to not interpret this as that she is calling me a fake.

Aibu?

OP posts:
AlwaysCheddar · 03/01/2020 20:50

Persona = character

She’s saying you’re a fun and smiley person!

OhNoMyCheds · 03/01/2020 20:51

I would interpret this as your team lead not knowing what the word actually means rather than being disparaging towards you.

DartmoorChef · 03/01/2020 20:51

You are reading too much into it.

needanewnamechange · 03/01/2020 20:53

How is she calling you fake ? Sorry but I don't get why you are hurt and upset .
It's a nice thing you've done and a nice reply .

Twickerhun · 03/01/2020 20:54

English is not my first language but that seems fine to me?

LazyDaisey · 03/01/2020 20:54

You left ... presents? That’s er, indeed unique. I’ve heard of getting presents but I’ve never heard of anyone quitting leaving presents. Or cards.

Singlenotsingle · 03/01/2020 20:55

Don't invent things to get upset about! The woman meant well!

NegroniOnIce · 03/01/2020 20:59

LazyDaisey - this is like that one the other day who sent 130 text messages at new year Grin

NerrSnerr · 03/01/2020 20:59

She wasn't calling you a fake, she was just describing your personality.

Original poster
Shaminon · 03/01/2020 21:02

It's a work culture thing I guess - everyone does it

persona
/pəˈsəʊnə,pəːˈsəʊnə/

noun
the aspect of someone's character that is presented to or perceived by others.
"her public persona"
a role or character adopted by an author or an actor.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shaminon · 03/01/2020 21:03

I mean leave presents Grin

I guess I'm being oversensitive it just seemed like a bit below the belt considerinvg the behind closed doors polite arguing that has been going on Sad

OP posts:
Chochito · 03/01/2020 21:04

I think she doesn't know what persona means. I think her message was intended to be nice and friendly. However, I don't know her.

MaybeMaybeNotJ · 03/01/2020 21:04

I’m all about literal meanings but I’d take that as a well meaning comment.
Some people use it in place of personality (rightly or wrongly).

Oct18mummy · 03/01/2020 21:12

Don’t look back look forward. Don’t carry this into your new role. Fresh start- be glad you left there with a manager like that!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 03/01/2020 21:14

Did the team leader say “the team and myself...”?

CatintheFireplace · 03/01/2020 21:17

You are overthinking this!

Concestor · 03/01/2020 21:18

I would read that as snarky and a dig. What was the whole message?

Original poster
Shaminon · 03/01/2020 21:18

She is usually a grammatically correct person as she does all of the proof reading of our reports! It's been quite a rocky time when I've been upset in meetings and outwardly cheerful in the office. So I guess 'persona' resounded with me as I felt quite fake but obviously couldn't show how I really felt.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shaminon · 03/01/2020 21:22

Without opening my laptop as I don't want to get upset , it was a short response saying the the team had many memories of me, that I had given a unique contribution and that I will be remembered as having a 'fun and smiley persona'

It hit me in the chest it upset me so much. I guess I'm upset about leaving and the circumstances that it came about in but it felt like it was my team leaders way of giving a back handed compliment.

OP posts:
NegroniOnIce · 03/01/2020 21:24

It hit you in the chest? Shock

For real?

Original poster
Shaminon · 03/01/2020 21:24

I felt it hit a really bad note especially as the whole team were copied in. If she'd just sent it to me I would have minded a lot less.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shaminon · 03/01/2020 21:25

Yeah it did.

OP posts:
Zilla1 · 03/01/2020 21:29

It must be an emotionally difficult time but I don't those words on their own should be read negatively. I think the difficulties you've had will colour her words for you but I wouldn't expect a reasonable member of your team to take anything other than positive compliments from them. Good luck.

Gonetoget · 03/01/2020 21:29

It could be interpreted that she was having a bit of a swipe, you've worked with her so only you know how she behaves ? but remember you where gracious and conducted yourself well as you exited that job.
You'll be remembered for that, not your team leaders email.
So keep moving forwards.

FirmlyRooted · 03/01/2020 21:30

YABU. She is not calling you a fake (unless there is a lot more to your relationship that you're not telling us?). Agree that you're overthinking this, and I think the definition you're quoting supports this. Isn't anyone's personality as perceived by others a persona?