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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think rising levels of neuro diverse children in society is partly due to rising ages of pregnant mothers?

542 replies

staydazzling · 03/01/2020 11:29

im not condeming anything here btw, i would like to make that clear. and i know this may not go down well on here, donning hard hat but whenever theres discussions about how neurological diversity in children has risen ASD, ADHD etc in society, the conversion is often about MMR Hmm Ipads Hmm or diet, discipline etc which of course all important variables but i feel its unhelpful that a lot of would be mothers are not informed of the risk past 35, of downs syndrome, autism etc, its obviously much better financially to be older and have a family. aibu to feel its the elephant inthe room regarding rising levels of children with ASD, ADHD, Etc??

OP posts:
Hoik · 03/01/2020 23:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Emeraldshamrock · 04/01/2020 00:22

19Babyroobs

The majority of children I know who have adhd ( admittedly not a huge number) all have one thing in common. Their dads smoked cannabis frequently. Not sure if there's any evidence of a link
Baby it is well known these day non NT adults suffer and hide behind addiction drugs alcohol food. That is why intervention is desperately needed at a young age. I'm sitting up now with my 4 yo he is so anxious all week about school Monday, he'll probably sleep for a few hours later afterall he is up since 7am. 😴

Original poster
staydazzling · 04/01/2020 01:08

Ive never said theres no genetic link, i believe there is, ive also in a previous post recognised paternal age must be o
a factor, ive said in a PP i have a children with ASD, i was querying it may be A FACTOR, not the only reason i never even implied it, my OP even says partly and anyone who says otherwise is being deliberately obtuse. Hmm back inthe 90s was advised to no longer have children after my disabled sister as apparently her 'advancing age increased risks' so. i. assumed it was common knowledge? i do apologise if i have genuinely offended anyone. But the reaction i have received generally is OTT when like i said teen mothers, (was one) are so overtly judged on here.

OP posts:
Bobbi73 · 04/01/2020 01:57

It was only when my son was going through diagnosis for ADHD that I realised that one of my brothers and my dad definitely had it too. My dad was written off as being a bit weird and my brother as a difficult child. Now I see traits in myself. I'm fairly sure that genetic link is a factor but not maternal age that I've heard of.

Oliversmumsarmy · 04/01/2020 02:15

The majority of children I know who have adhd ( admittedly not a huge number) all have one thing in common. Their dads smoked cannabis frequently

Well I don’t think my father ever touched any sort of drug. He didn’t even have time for alcohol
And my Dp certainly has never taken any drugs he is very very strait laced.

I also have a nose like a bloodhound and can smell not only what people have been eating but what the person say next to them has had.
So I don’t think that theory holds water

elliejjtiny · 04/01/2020 02:27

I think it's down to a number of things. I have 2 sons who have autism, born when I was 24 and 32. Their dad has autism so in their case it's almost certainly genetic. I do wonder if more people who are neurodiverse are having children who weren't before. Also it could be partly due to babies surviving illnesses, premature birth etc that they wouldn't have before. My youngest is a neonatal sepsis survivor and I don't know if that has made a difference to his autism or not

DreamsAboutSummer · 04/01/2020 02:31

There's no link between the mmr and autism/asd etc, and there's definitely no link between maternal age either... Read some medical journals on the subjects...

DobbinOnTheLA · 04/01/2020 02:34
Hmm its obviously much better financially to be older and have a family. aibu to feel its the elephant inthe room regarding rising levels of children with ASD, ADHD, Etc??

That is from your OP. You refer to older mother's as being the elephant in the room for dx where there is little evidence to support your hypothesis.

I'm sorry you've encountered negatively for being a teen parent. I'm not sure anyone has had an OTT reaction though? The majority seem to say they don't fall in "older mothers" category but do have a child with ASD.

DreamsAboutSummer · 04/01/2020 02:35

" i have a children with ASD, i was querying it may be A FACTOR, not the only reason i never even implied it, my OP even says partly and anyone who says otherwise is being deliberately obtuse. hmm back inthe 90s was advised to no longer have children after my disabled sister as apparently her 'advancing age increased risks' so. i. assumed it was common knowledge?" what?

You have a children and then you're talking about a disabled sister? Makes no sense...

DreamsAboutSummer · 04/01/2020 02:44

"...but like another poster said there always been a proven link, i knew about it inthe 90s" what proven link are you talking about OP? The debunked lies from a disgraced former Dr?

56Marshmallow · 04/01/2020 03:09

@Hoik High five to you! You have explained it far more eloquently than me!

I totally get it. So much of your experience resonates with me. Currently up with the 11 year old!

56Marshmallow · 04/01/2020 03:12

I forgot to add in the cost of the extra washing because my 9 year old isn't just in nappies at night, he pissed himself almost every day in the day time. Sometimes this is several times a day. Not his fault but boy do we get through washing!

DreamsAboutSummer · 04/01/2020 04:16

@Hoik your comment "you don't get extra for hitting the disabled child jackpot and having two of them." made me smile, because as a disabled person, I find that humour is the only way to stay "sane" especially with the amount of judgemental people who somehow think that every disabled person is millionaire thanks to benefits. My husband has to work full time to pay our mortgage and bills, carers allowance would not be enough to live on, and for the year I couldn't physically work he had to pay for everything, because I didn't qualify for whatever incapacity benefit had just changed to. People who are able-bodied and "neurotypical" just don't understand... They believe all the political propaganda relating to how much they can save by "getting disabled people back into work" and think that we are getting too much money... ConfusedAngry

56Marshmallow · 04/01/2020 05:07

@Dreamsaboutsummer
Hear hear!

Durgasarrow · 04/01/2020 05:55

Back in the day, mothers had babies young, but they had them old, too. They just didn't have effective birth control either way.

Oliversmumsarmy · 04/01/2020 05:59

Back in the day, mothers had babies young, but they had them old, too. They just didn't have effective birth control either way

But they didn’t test for anything so who is to say those children weren’t ADHD or ASD etc.

user1480880826 · 04/01/2020 06:09

The fact that you mention MMR as a variable demonstrates your complete lack of knowledge on this subject. MMR has repeatedly been shown not to be a contributing factor. You need to stop perpetuating dangerous lies.

This conversation should be deleted by @MumsnetHQ

EuphorbiaHemlockthe1st · 04/01/2020 07:50

Extra time in exams could be fuelling the numbers
www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-38923034

Devereux1 · 04/01/2020 07:59

MMR has repeatedly been shown not to be a contributing factor. You need to stop perpetuating dangerous lies.

This conversation should be deleted by @MumsnetHQ**

I disagree completely. How will deleting a thread help correct misinformation then? As you also correctly stated, this demonstrates the OP's lack of knowledge on the subject. So we should openly challenge her then, and her arguments - or lack of them - should be visible for all to see.

This is the problem with this hysteria of cancelling, no platforming and thread deletion. It just means people with lies, on all sides, continue to develop their lies in their own heads and without debate.

EuphorbiaHemlockthe1st · 04/01/2020 08:00

Has anyone tried the online tests for aspergers etc. Do they seem reasonable?
I've always wondered about DF (and there fore me and my siblings) - his DM used to sit in the corner and knit and never speak, so sounds rather antisocial. This was in the olden days when quirky behaviour was just quirky behaviour.

Spikeyball · 04/01/2020 08:03

A team of medical professionals will not diagnose asd because the parent asks them to.
Those who think you just go along to your GP and ask for a note that says your child has something are completely clueless.

hopefulhalf · 04/01/2020 08:05

DreamsaboutSummer definately no link to maternal age ? I think the jury is out. I also don't think we should discount alcohol use. Even teenage use impacts the quality of the eggs. Female alcohol use has skyrocketted in the last 30 years.

ByeMF · 04/01/2020 08:12

You are not only being unreasonable, you are making a statement based on a hunch which makes you completely ignorant. And none of the 'variables' you mention have any proven link to autism.

I suggest that if this is something you are interested in you get yourself onto Google scholar and read some peer reviewed research articles.

I see absolutely no benefit in a thread like this. It simply spreads more ignorance about neurological conditions.

hopefulhalf · 04/01/2020 08:13

To be clear I am talking about non-high functioning ASD and LDs here. Absolutely agree that HFA is at least 80% genetic.

Sockwomble · 04/01/2020 08:15

You didn't hear about autism so much before 1979 so maybe it is the Tories.

Or maybe it is going to Disneyland that causes it? That used to less common than it is now.