I did well in my A Levels and got into a good university. I was really optimistic at this point, I had relevant work experience lined up and enjoyed the subject. Then I got into an emotionally abusive relationship, got pregnant and decided to continue with the pregnancy, and had to drop out.
My DC is now three and I have started a self employed business which I earn the equivalent of a (minimum wage) part time job from. I’ve restarted my degree part time, but I can’t shake the feeling of shame and that I should have progressed so much more in life than I have. I know comparison is the thief of joy, but I see all of my previous uni friends moving on in life and progressing while I’m still miles behind.
I feel like I’ve lost the last few years of my life to the abusive relationship which drained a huge amount of my energy. By this point I’d planned to have finished my degree and be doing my post grad qualification, instead I still have four years left of my degree.
I do my best to not dwell on it - me and DC have an active lifestyle, see friends and family frequently and so on, yet I’m lying awake at 5am feeling shit about myself, and I can’t get rid of the feeling I’ve let myself down and that I’m not doing enough to better mine and DC’s life.