This is a really silly first world problem I know but it really bothers me. PIL are generally pretty good - they make the effort to see our DD (14 mths) and aren't too demanding. FIL likes to lecture us on a few things about how we bring her up and obsessively reads the internet for new pearls of wisdom but we just ignore him. MIL is generally easy going.
The problem is that they buy everything for DD! There is nothing left for me to get her - she has shelves and shelves of books, a cupboard full of toys and every gadget you can think of. When DH and I have asked them to slow down with the buying they've just snuck stuff in - and then I'll find something they don't recognise after they've gone home! At Christmas they made her a stocking (me and DH didn't), bought her an advent calendar of books, a wooden rocking horse and then about 8 or 9 other presents. To be honest I can't even remember what they all were. Then MIL messaged yesterday to say that she'd been to M&S in the sale and got her some clothes as well.
I find it odd because a lot of it is really cheap stuff that she finds in TKMaxx or similar and often doesn't fit (she bought her some clothes for a 3 year old once (when DD was 6 months old) because they were on offer and she couldn't find the label!) or doesn't work very well or isn't at all age appropriate. I feel like she just wastes money for the sake of it.
All of the above I find a bit weird and if I'm honest I feel sad that I haven't really got the chance to buy my DD anything much because she's already always had it all but I also worry that as she gets older she'll just end up a spoil brat, getting presents all the time. DH and I are also not into 'stuff'. But I've mainly let it lie and DH and I have moaned about it privately and agreed we'll tackle more directly as DD gets older and is aware of how much she's being bought.
But the thing that has annoyed me today is about buying a car seat for their car for DD to use when she visits. That hasn't been necessary before because we've had our car with us when we've visited and we suggested not to bother whilst she was less than a year old and in an infant carrier. But now she's older we are thinking about going on the train more in future and they live in a rural area so would need to pick us up from the station. I agree that it makes sense for them to have a car seat in their car and it's nice of them to think about it. But DH and I are very road safety conscious and we have researched and chosen car seats for DD quite carefully - I know that sounds a bit PFB but it's just our thing that we're concerned about given some experiences on the roads we've each had in the past. We've spent more on car seats and less on non-safety things like a buggy - that's just our personal choice.
Last time we were there I tried to suggest we looked on the Mothercare website to see if we could get a good deal after they went bust but FIL just dismissed it and said I'll just pop out the day before you're coming up and get any old one - they had them dead cheap in Lidl the other day. I didn't say anything but I was a bit worried about it because I didn't really want them to choose it without checking in with us.
Now we're going up on the train at the end of Jan and I said in passing in a message this morning that DH and I would sort a car seat in advance and pay for it. They've got really uppity about it, are adamant they want to pay and suddenly it has to be ordered today. They've been inundanting our Whatsapp group with messages and MIL has come up with this story about how she is going to see SIL on Monday and needs it for that (SIL has a 4 week old) so it's urgent. I think that's rubbish - when I saw SIL last week she didn't think they needed to buy one at all as she has two infant carriers at her house anyway (both gifted by family).
The truth is I've actually got no issue with the seat they've chosen. It's not i-size but I'm not bothered about that for occasional use and it's a decent brand. My problem is that they want to take over everything and if I ever express any view or restriction on what they want for DD they make out I'm being idiot or over protective. MIL now seems to have fabricated this whole story about SIL to create urgency and convince us to agree to the seat they've chosen because it's in stock at their local Argos so they can get it today and now FIL is sending me Whatsapp messages about i-size and how it's a waste of money anyway (even though I never said I wanted to buy an i-size but suggested he should check with SIL/BIL that they were ok with it not being i-size too). On the wider family group he's now made a massive thing of the fact that I'm being prescriptive (when actually the first seat they've suggested I've said is fine). I know they're retired so they have nothing better to do but I just wish they'd give it a rest and let me feel in control of my child's needs!
Probably am being a bit over sensitive but I've had lots of family visits due to Christmas and I think I'm just fed up with the lot of them!!!!