To think he shouldnt have said this to DH....eww

[Bingcankissmyass]

So DH texts me last night whilst he was at work saying "Ebeneezer has just been telling me stories about you when you worked here 🤨" I replied with what stories are they then (I used to have a backbone then, so would often stand up for myself when others tried to bully/manipulate me) DH replied that we'd talk about it when he got home. I was ready for him to tell me about times when I'd given someone a mouthful, or other such stories I'd previously told DH. He comes home and I asked him what Ebeneezer has told him and it went something like this...
(Talking about an ex colleague who utterly despised me)
DH: Oh yeah, Bob couldnt stand Bing, think it stemmed from her giving him a mouthful when he tried to (physically) back her into a corner and started going on about her MH issues
E: Really? Everyone liked Bing. Well, except for Mary.
DH: Mary? Oh, personnel Mary!
E: Yeah, I remember Bing coming in wearing a short, tight black skirt with slits either side, right up to her waist! Mary said it was inappropriate and that Bing should not come into work wearing it again.
DH:...🤨
E: So a load of the lads got a petition together to say that Bing should be able to wear that skirt all the time!
DH: ...Ebeneezer that's my wife you're talking about
E: Well obviously we didnt hand the petition in, but we all talked about in the break room! Bing, that skirt and those legs..
DH: Seriously Ebeneezer stop talking now, that's my wife and id appreciate you not talking about her like that. Especially to me, HER BLOODY HUSBAND!!
I'm not sure how the conversation finished (although I know DH didnt knock Ebeneezer out!) Who in their right mind would have this conversation with the persons DH?? I remember the skirt, it was knee length (as stated in uniform guide) and had a small slit at the back. I regularly see Ebeneezer and chat with him, AIBU in thinking "eeewwwwww?" everytime I see him?! And just so you know, I was not a stripper 🤣😂

You’re completely sidelining the genuinely appalling thing this conversation mentioned.

Presumably because she was aware of being pushed into the corner at the time it happened. Whereas this short skirt petition is a new revelation to her and is therefore the basis for this thread.

OP, it’s a totally shit thing for them to have done. And illegal. It was deeply misogynistic, wildly inappropriate harassment of a colleague. Whether or not HR had to speak to you about your skirt is irrelevant and a completely separate issue so I’m unsure as to why PPs are asking. Unless we’re saying it’s OK for groups of men to start lecherous petitions and discuss their female colleagues’ bodies as long as she was actually wearing a very short skirt The fact that this guy is brazen enough to actually tell your husband about it just says it all and he's not somebody that I would be continuing any kind of friendship with. Nor should your DH (although it sounds like he's a decent bloke and I'm sure he won't).

@Mlou32 - exactly the kind of taking pride in ignorance and cruelty I was talking about. Be ashamed of yourself.

IMO there are few things as boring as long convoluted work stories about people you don't know and don't care about.

@Bingcankissmyass I wondered if it was retail from the dynamics. Awful people they were - I hope you're in a better place now. And yes, your DH could put in a complaint about Ebenezer and his inappropriate workplace conversation

I don't think it's the short skirt petition. I think it's that it was relayed to her now husband.

He is probably a bit thick.

Did you know about the petition?

Anyway, sounds like a bit of a shit workplace and maybe your DH should think about moving elsewhere.

Oh @viques, why would you bother posting that? Why not just find another thread? Or do you enjoy being unpleasant for no reason?

@DameFanny 😂😂😂

Did the petition even happen or did he make that up as well?

damefanny just passing through, clicked on the thread, tried to read through the OP and couldn't get to the end.

If the thread gets more interesting then tell me and I will happily go back and read through from page I to page 4, but if it stays at the level of reported conversations about people I don't know and don't care about then my eyes will glaze over and I will probably fall off my chair as I am hypnotised into deep slumber.

So if you couldn't even read the OP, why bother commenting? Are you so boorish that you think you've got to say something even when you've nothing to say? Do you gleefully say "cancel the cheque" fifty times and tell an abused woman "maybe he was having a bad day" when the details showing why his shouting was abuse were in the second post?

OP, does your DH have options to look into changing workplace?

If your DH keeps hearing potential lies or misrepresented information and relaying conversations this could cause problems in your marriage? I have tried to read the thread, but don't think it's clear how much HR have been involved if at all?

Christ Damefanny, would you ever chill the fuck out. You're picking on every single person here (I've a dick apparently) and you're making a show of yourself.

Chill the fuck out? No. When we let misogyny, cruelty and pride in ignorance go by for the sake of being 'chill' we end up with a society turning a blind eye to sexism, racism, homophobia. That leads to synagogues and mosques being attacked, an openly racist and sexist Prime Minister in the UK and President in the US, abortion being under attack and people with disabilities being spat at in the streets.

So no I will not be fucking chill. Words matter, and we've been too fucking chill for too fucking long.

And the people I've 'picked on' have been trying to make the OP feel bad for being weirded out by a creep she used to work with. Is that a hill you want to die in? Is that me being unreasonable? To think maybe we should be supporting other women?

Did someone finally take her batteries out?

I think she died on a hill somewhere @Jumpi

Eh?
No idea what your little antidote even means?
Who was wearing a short skirt? You?
Or did tell someone off for wearing a skirt?
Either way not really worth posting about.

@Justonemorepiece

The story is that a total letch who used to work with OP completely made up a story to her DH that she was wearing a really weird short skirt, got told off for it and the men started a petition that she should be able to wear it so they could perve all over her.

DH though it was inappropriate and weird, told the bloke to shut up and told OP that the letch was spreading rumours and lies about her.

I don't get it

Who's she @jumpi?

It's an anecdote not an antidote @Justonemorepiece perhaps you could read the OP more carefully to understand it?

It never fails to shock me that these rancid work places still exist. That's shit, and I hope your DH has the backbone to make a complaint. Completely inappropriate

Well ok this all seems a bit petty storm in a teacup who gives a shit kinda stuff,

You're all about the bluntness @Bluntness100 but did you ever try empathy?