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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think my neighbours are being unfair?

190 replies

TouYube · 02/01/2020 01:17

For background, and at the risk of sounding like a boast, we are on a ver naice housing estate, houses around the £700k mark. This is relevant.

There is a fence between us and next door. It’s their fence, we are responsible for the fence on the other side. They extended their garage backwards along the fence line. Three panels were damaged and despite loads of promises they never replaced them. So our boundary looks terrible, the garage has windows in it which overlook our garden while the fence panel isn’t there.

We have politely asked when they plan to fix it, they said they would but they couldn’t find anyone/tradesman didn’t turn up/getting more quotes.

Still not done. It pisses me off because I think we’ll why would anyone give up neighbourly goodwill etc for the sake of 3 panels? And say they were going to fix it and then not? They can’t see the panels but that doesn’t mean they’re not there! Argh!

DH is getting really cross about it and is muttering something about replacing the whole fence with max height panels (and sniper towers, search lights and razor wire...Wink) but I’d rather they just bloody fixed it.

OP posts:
Myimaginarycathasfleas · 04/01/2020 03:19

The OP gave the information about her house for context and yes, it is relevant, because it seems unlikely her neighbours are on their uppers and unable to afford a few fence panels.

Who on earth would bother to try and impress a bunch of internet strangers, many of whom may be considerably richer?

I'd offer some vinegar to go with those chips, but I think you may be sour enough.

msmum007 · 04/01/2020 03:50

I personally disagree with the comments regarding the cost of the houses on the estate where@TouYube lives, which apparently sell for circa £700KWink. To me, that practically screams out that if you can both afford houses that cost that much, then you are both affluent enough to pay somebody/do it yourself to restore the fence.
Firstly I’d speak for the neighbour, and ask them pointedly one more, and the last time, please could they restore the fence, if possible to 6ft. I’d see what their response and gauge it from there. If they seem dismissive, then I’d tell them that you’re in contact with the RSPCA, and in the process of seriously thinking of getting a dog. You don’t want a puppy, but an adult dog. Something like a Rottweiler or a Bull Terrier, so that you feel safer when you’re in the house alone, and to deter any would be burglars, as there’s been a recent upsurge (which is actually true) in the number of burglaries being committed locally.
But the dog’s going to need to go outside into the garden, to do its business, of course, and to run around, getting some fresh air. Of course, with it being in your garden you don’t need to keep it muzzled, as it would be cruel to keep it muzzled for long periods of time, especially in the garden or in the house. Plus it would defeat the purpose of getting it in the first place. I’d point out that it would be a really good idea to sort out the fence situation before you collect your dog in 2/3 weeks, once you've passed the home assessment(make sure your white lie is watertight, btw). Hopefully then it’ll spur them into action so that they'll sort out the fence pdq, otherwise it may well go into their garden and oh my goodness, do it’s ‘business’ thereShockWink.
When the dog doesn’t appear, then you can say that you failed the assessment for the particular dog that you really wantedSad, or someone else got it firstEnvy, etc.
Or it may be worth doing it yourself, especially if you want it at the maximum height allowed, which is 6ft. There’s also a very applicable saying in this situation which is; If you want a job doing properly, then do it yourself, or else pay someone else whom you can then instruct exactly as to what you want, and not what the neighbour wants.
I think you would get a very different reaction from OP on this site if instead of living in a £700k house, you were a single mum with children in a council flat, dependant on Universal Credits, meaning that quite literally every single penny would matter.
It really isn’t worth getting into a neighbourly dispute though, speaking from experience, because if either of you move, then you have a legal duty to declare it. Plus it creates a horrid atmosphere which is awful to live with, the one place where you should be able to relax. Sometimes it’s worth just paying and getting it done yourself. We went for the more expensive type of fence which lasts much longer. Rather than flimsy bits of wood threaded through horizontally, which lets the fence warp when you pick it up. The better fence is made of concrete posts, with a concrete bottom, then planks of wood, hammered vertically onto two large pieces of wood slotted horizontally into the concrete posts.
If you need something to grow quickly, buy a climber called ‘Russian Vine’, aka as ‘Mile a Minute’, because it grows extremely fast. It’s very difficult to get rid of though, once it’s established, but if you can train it over to the neighbour’s property, you may just have to stick the odd bit back or cut it. But it does live up to its nickname, so be warned! Grin

TheLittleDogLaughed · 04/01/2020 06:20

Bring in some ver naice whores?

MitziK · 04/01/2020 07:43

Is this now the sort of glorified shed that tends to spring up with a couple of gentlemen living in it a couple of years before a planning application is made to extend the footprint of the entire house?

It's how a lot of people make enough money to cover their mortgage - illegal accommodation.

After all, cars don't need daylight and a view over somebody else's garden - but people would.

MITCHELL33 · 04/01/2020 09:12

I have not read all the thread but would be cautious as to replacing it at your cost.Reason being once you have done that "you have taken responsibility for any further damage".This happened to someone I know.

wildchild554 · 04/01/2020 11:33

I've noticed a few people saying they can't get people out for small jobs and tbh not suprised, if it wasn't for the fact my landlord employs his own handyman available that he employs we would have been waiting a long time to get a roofer out to repair the few missing slate, I worked for a roofer for a short time and they would have deemed the job too small and not cost effective. So might be worth asking if they are planning to do it themselves when the weather is better, especially if they are older and maybe suffering with things like oa as bad cold weather makes pain worse and makes you more tired. I know my father suffers and when he has panels down he will leave it till the warmer months to do the repairs when he's feeling better and easier to get around.

notkeen111 · 04/01/2020 11:37

Yep get whores and send them round.

Grin
Lulu49 · 04/01/2020 12:35

I prefer your original idea

Lulu49 · 04/01/2020 12:38

Borrow a friends dog, a large dog but not so large it can’t get through and hopefully it will shit in their garden/dig their plants up/cause havoc and then you can be all “so sorry, we have some fence panels missing you know” say dogs staying for two weeks whilst owner on holiday 😊

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 04/01/2020 13:43

@Trudij123 Grin was just singing that to myself with the word whores but couldn't think of appropriate lyrics, yours were great Grin

Trudij123 · 04/01/2020 13:45
Grin
endlessstrife · 04/01/2020 16:36

Just do it yourselves, you’re not being unreasonable, but when dealing with others who are, it’s better to rise above it. The last thing you want is animosity with neighbours .

mrscolonelbrandon · 05/01/2020 03:25

Go on hedges direct they do a brilliant little ivy (non invasive ) hedge plant ready grown 6ft high and around 4ft wide bit more pricier than the panels but at least its your hedge on your side of the garden youre not financing their lazy panels and disregard to you - replace them and you’ll make a rod for your own back and end up paying for everything they can’t be bothered to deal with plus you cover up garage and potential overlooking x I’d get nice big troughs along the front with hedges in too stops the whole I’ll park as close as I can to your car over the boundary so I don’t knock my own primrose issue or have them stand on your drive putting kids shopping etc in car or and my absolute favourite have their visitors parking half on their drive and half on yours seen it all myself and no YANBU ! Good luck x

bettybattenburg · 05/01/2020 03:38

we are on a ver naice housing estate, houses around the £700k mark. This is relevant.

Why is this relevant? Don't poor people living in ordinary houses instead of McMansions care about the fences and their property boundary?

hellsbells77 · 05/01/2020 22:56

Some people have mentioned about checking building regs...

Detached outbuildings do not require building regs if they are under 15 sq m. If it's between 15 and 30 sq m then building regs are required only if it is built within a metre of the boundary and not built using mainly non-combustible materials. If the garage or outbuilding is attached to the house then normal building regs are required.

With regards to an outbuilding requiring planning permission, it is required if the building is within 2m of the boundary and has an overall height of more than 2.5m; more than half of the land around the original land would be covered by additions and/or outbuildings; it is forward of the front house elevation. There are other requirements if you are in a conservation area, National Park, AONB, etc.

If what your neighbour has built doesn't follow these regulations then there may be some recourse, if it does then I don't think there is much you can do apart from asking nicely when they're going to do it or putting a fence in yourself but on your side of the boundary.

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