Posting here for traffic ... cat euthanasia

[MissKittyBeaudelais]

Female neutered cat aged 12. Not old, old. Suddenly started weeing/pooing in the house. Not asking to go out. Not using litter tray. Dog, eating/rolling in the poo 🤢

Biggest problem is, I have a 19yr old son with autism and excruciating OCD (has been under psychiatric consultation/treatment and medicated since age 10). Cat mostly goes in son’s bathroom and spare room. I always remember to keep those doors closed. Sometimes, I don’t or cat pushes door open.

I’m at my wits end. I’m contemplating having the cat put down. The house stinks. The dog stinks. My son’s hands are raw from washing and I’m having to wash his slippers and shoes in rotation so that they’re not “contaminated” when moving about the house.

Advice? Tried Feliway. Tried a herbal relaxing food supplement. Tried putting her in a room at night WITH accessible litter. No difference. Cat was a feral rescue from a farm. Got her as a kitten, 12 yrs ago.

Cat!!

Glad she's doing better, must be a nightmare. I've a stressy cat and www.petdrugsonline.co.uk/zylkene-reduce-anxiety-stress-relief-tablets-for-cats-dogs?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI1ZDTn5zw5gIVRMreCh0L9wA4EAQYASABEgJQyfD_BwE has worked wonders. I'd tried feliway/pet remedy but they didn't work. Zklene did. Worth trying a few things

Krai you beat me to it. Somehow I doubt the OP’s inbox is bursting with PMs from disapproving posters offering to take the cat.

OP I’ve lived with an elderly incontinent cat and it was soul destroying. In our case we were able to rehome her after about 18 months or so (with hindsight we should never have taken her in as an elderly rescue in the first place as she never settled with our pre-existing cats so it was obviously a stress response) but we were lucky enough to have a family friend thinking of getting a cat, so off she went to live the life of Riley as an only cat and hey presto, the peeing stopped. Prior to that we’d tried everything and nothing worked, and all that was happening was that she and we were all unhappy.

If the choice is between the prospect of long term life in a shelter or a peaceful PTS at home, I’d go for the latter every time. Everyone saying this is a healthy cat - no, it clearly isn’t. It may have no physical causes for the incontinence but happy healthy cats don’t pee everywhere. Cats are naturally fastidious and it distressed them not to be able to be clean, so there is an issue somewhere even if it’s mental rather than physical.

Fingers crossed that you’ve cracked the problem and that she stays clean from now on. She’s a pretty girl.

*distresses

(Why does iPhone correct perfectly legitimate tenses to different ones?)

Where does she tend to go to the toilet most, and what cleaning products have been used there?

She’s not old, our cat is 20 this year.

Do you have a cat flap or does she wait for you to let her out?

As your DS is so stressed that he's tried to wash the carpet in his room, have you considered he might find it less stressful to have vinyl flooring?

That way, if he became distressed/fixated on it, rather than demanding you sniff the carpet at 2am, he could just mop it instead - a cheap steam mop would be something he could use without danger or causing damage to vinyl.

And some of the foam backings on carpets smell like cat when they start to deteriorate.

You could also look into the cat's diet - many are intolerant to the grain fillers in supermarket food as well as dairy; something like Lily's Kitchen - not IAMS, as that's just dearer cheap fillers - is highly palatable and doesn't make the place smell like something's died in it if the cat defecates indoors (litter tray or elsewhere) - if intolerance is a problem, they can associate the litter tray with pain, too.

It wouldn't smell of dog that way, either.

Wow...lots of suggestions there. Will come back after work.

Please don’t kill the poor cat just because of your son’s issues

On mumsnet you can abort a baby at 39 weeks, relinquish a baby a birth, hand over your child with SEN to SS because you can't cope, and these are all very brave decisions. God forbid anyone EVER prioritize ANYTHING over a pet, even if it's an adult with just some mental health issues, you know, the ones where you attempt suicide.

@MissKittyBeaudelais nothing useful to add, just 💐 for you as it sounds like you need them.

One of my cats won't use a litter tray if there's so much as a paw print in it. I use lots of trays to stop any inappropriate soiling and trying different litters is worth a go. I find professional classic from bitiba a favourite with cats. Litter attractant might help too.
I also think that your sons stress and excessive cleaning could be passing on to the cat, it certainly seems to be stress related. I'm not sure that forcing her outside will help, it will only increase her stress if she is unhappy and potentially make things worse.

Forgot to add that Jackson Galaxy has a video in which he helps a cat with a severe soiling issue, it might be worth a watch as it has some good suggestions, and he does fix the problem, the family were at their wits end.

It could be simply that the cat and son just aren't compatible, especially if she's preferring his room. I definitely would get rid of the carpet in his bedroom if he could cope. Get something easy clean anyway no matter what you decide with the cat.

Good luck OP, I can't say what I would do in your situation.

@housinghelp101 slightly dramatic, however I do thinking putting an animal to sleep should be the last resort after trying all the other options. It is a life after all. And yes, it’s a difficult decision to make and as such needs to be weighed up. I do know, having worked in rescues, that cats can find loving and happy homes, even with issues. Fortunately there’s a lot of mad old cat lovers out there.

Mama the OP said PTCTS would be a last resort. She's not intending to bash it over the head with a rock for the lolz. I love my cat dearly but my child would have to be my priority. I would rather have a 12 year old cat that has had a good life PTS than left in a cattery or rescue place. If the cat was stressed in it's own environment, that would be torment for it.

Worked well again last night. Went out about 11.30 and let in around 1am. Slept between me and DH again. No mess.

I’ve put some soil on the litter. The vet told me to.

Will say again....Feliway wasn’t effective but then, the vet said we needed one per room plus hall/landing areas.

Not using vinyl flooring. His room has a double bed, lamp, TV on the wall which he cannot use as it has no wires (he can not tolerate wiring) a sofa/footstool. No wardrobes (he wanted rid of it) and a rail with a few clothes hung. The carpet makes it a bedroom, for me. It’s newish and very soft.

Exactly what housing help said. I too have an asd child. Although thankfully not showing ocd tenancies currently. I also have a bonkers old cat (21) who went through a year of weeing and pooing everywhere. I followed the advice of lots of online helpulf people and she's stopped thankfully but if she was distressing my DC and our household calm to the extent described by OP I would, with very heavy heart pts with a home visit to minimise distress. DC surely have to take priority over an sick cat?

There has been a lot of information on this thread so I may have missed something but can I just ask a few things.

What or how much of certain chemicals are you or probably more specifically your son using to clean with?

It's not his fault as he is driven by compulsions but certain chemicals especially in higher volumes can affect cats.

What are you using to clean the areas that have been messed on?

Most cleaning products work to get rid of the stain to human eyes but only certain chemicals will break down the ammonia or the smell (that the cat will smell) so the cat never sees it as a clean spot, it still sees it as a toilet spot even when you can't see it anymore.

Do some research and make sure that the products don't upset the cat but that you also have one that will definitely work on the actual urine.

There are also some sprays (concentrated citrus to keep cats away from certain areas) that you could try maybe on a cloth in a bowl just inside the the door of your son's room it would hopefully keep the cat out but if it's in a bowl on a cloth it isn't contaminating his space, but you would know more than me about what he could tolerate.

None of this might be helpful but it's another idea to look at.

Your son is hugely stressed about mess, dirt and contamination to the extent of suicide attempts and you considered having your (equally innocent in all this) cat's life terminated - because you like carpet?

What does he think?

Mitzik... DS chose the carpet. He has a textural “thing” about all things soft and what I mean to say is, it’s the only thing that says “comfort” in his living area. He has soft cushions and a couple of throws after his grandma took him on a John Lewis “soft” furnishing shopping spree 😊

I could ask him about the vinyl but I think it’s be a flat no.

I’ve made an essential oil spray ... a citrus one. DS won’t have it in his room but I’ve sprayed the landing OUTSIDE his room 🤞

Am sure someone will re-home successfully if needed be.

And yet cat rescues are bursting at the seams with cats in need of homes. If it's so easy to find a good home for a cat (never mind one with soiling issues) why are the rescues so overwhelmed?