Posting here for traffic ... cat euthanasia

[MissKittyBeaudelais]

Female neutered cat aged 12. Not old, old. Suddenly started weeing/pooing in the house. Not asking to go out. Not using litter tray. Dog, eating/rolling in the poo 🤢

Biggest problem is, I have a 19yr old son with autism and excruciating OCD (has been under psychiatric consultation/treatment and medicated since age 10). Cat mostly goes in son’s bathroom and spare room. I always remember to keep those doors closed. Sometimes, I don’t or cat pushes door open.

I’m at my wits end. I’m contemplating having the cat put down. The house stinks. The dog stinks. My son’s hands are raw from washing and I’m having to wash his slippers and shoes in rotation so that they’re not “contaminated” when moving about the house.

Advice? Tried Feliway. Tried a herbal relaxing food supplement. Tried putting her in a room at night WITH accessible litter. No difference. Cat was a feral rescue from a farm. Got her as a kitten, 12 yrs ago.

Cats hate being unclean so just see if it's something treatable and then if not might be kinder to let her go. Decide for yourself though. Sometimes vets suggest a few different tests or medications to prolong their life which is fine but their quality of life (and your sons stress as a result of this) has to be considered. 12 years isn't bad for a feral cat!

@Turqoise... I will do as much as I humanely can and allowing for funds. She has always been an outdoor cat. Coming home for food and the occasional snuggle then off out again. The litter was only put out at night but never used. We had the same litter bag for years!

I’ll come back with an update after seeing the vet.

It sounds like she never used a litter tray in her life.

@MissKittyBeaudelais

How did you get on at the vets?

Our 16 year old cat started vomiting and pooing - turned out to be aggressive lymphoma, with a tumour on her bowel and bladder. She lived 3 months, on steroids than we had her put down - when she got wise to the tablets in her food, and without the steroids, she stopped eating!

AIBU is no the place to get reasoned responses.
It could be behavioural but in an older cat more likely to be pain related - can she easily step into her tray? Is she still active?
Or dementia related - could try selgian tablets.
Regardless she is not happy
Do what is best for your family OP

I think some cats are just like that. We had chronic problems for 4 years after we moved house and cat stopped going outside (bullied by nearby cats I think). She has always been an anxious cat. We tried everything: covered trays, open trays, all different litter types, puppy pads....she still destroyed a carpet completely. She would poo in the litter tray but wee in dark corners on carpet or wood.
What finally worked (for now) is a huge litter tray, it's actually an underbed storage box, with high sides, placed on a spot where she was going regularly anyway. For the past 3 or 4 months she has exclusively used the tray. Just in time as I was seriously considering rehoming to my Mum who lives rurally and she could have been a mostly outside cat.

@fainaSnowChild that’s interesting.

I’ve been to the vet. She is, physically, a well cat.

So, am trying something called YouCalm on her food as vet feels it’s a)stress at what’s going on OUTSIDE the home or dementia based behaviour.

I went to the RSPCA who have a cat rehoming branch a few miles away. The lady there said that she would take her straight away as there were special circumstances as oppose to our just being able to not have a cat “anymore”. However, I want to give the calming treatment a go so, though I do have the option to rehome, I’m not going there just yet.

We have had two clean days as I have put her out at around midnight til were up at 7ish. Also, out a little cat box for her, in the garden with a blanket in.

We will try.

Based on my experience with the RSPCA they will end up putting her to sleep. They won't keep an incontinent cat that's hard to rehome for very long.

12 is not old OP. My last cat was 21 when she eventually was pts. Your cat sounds stressed out.
I am glad that you are doing what you can for her but putting her out at night at this time of year is not a good thing to do. Whilst she is not old she is definitely middle aged and should not be having to stay out in poor weather.

@Notthetoothfairy what a ridiculous response. The OP’s sons “issues” sound intense. Have you lived with someone with severe mental health issues ?!?!

Op - take cat to the vet. If it can’t be resolved in a month take the cat to a rescue centre. Your son is your priority

@StrongMummy, thank you. You seem to fully grasp what’s happening here. If you haven’t experience full on OCD, you’re probably not in a position to comment. I don’t mean to be rude but, it is absolutely crippling. Last week I was dragged out of sleep by my son in the early hours. He was very agitated and what he wanted was for me to smell the carpet in his room. So, rather than have a two hour discussion about why I wasn’t colluding with his OCD, I got on my hands and knees and did as asked. Three quarters of an hour later I could hear him downstairs filling the mop bucket with water. Had I not heard him, he would have “washed” his carpet. And probably the bed because it’s STANDING ON/TOUCHING the carpet. The cat had “been” walking around his room weeks ago and he was anxious that her paws might be contaminated.

I will do my best with the cat. I don’t like putting her out at night but equally, I can’t shut her in a room because she’d miaow all night and rake at the carpet. If she’s to roam the house at night, despite the little tray, she will make a mess.

I am reaching the end of my rope with the cat.

Oh yes...have been to the vets. She’s well. Am trying YouCalm on her. Feliway did nothing.

MissKitty - have you contacted the Cats' Protection League? I think that they are less likely to pts than the RSPCA which I would not trust at all.
If your girl must be rehomed then please ensure that you do your very best for her as it is a huge trauma for any animal.

Our 17 year old cat started doing this about 3 years ago. It's cat dementia bless her. But we couldn't just put her down because she's old. She's part of our family
We bought puppy pads and put them near where she was having the accidents and whilst she still has them it's not as frequent

Oh and I second they cystitis issue. Our cat regularly has this - blood wee everywhere - but medication sorts it out. A vet check up for your cat is needed

Ok...saying this again. HAVE HAD A FULL BILL OF HEALTH FROM THE VET. Not UTI. Not anything physical.

RSPCA assured me they NEVER put a cat down.

Well I don’t think that’s true.

Having said that, your son’ mental health does come first here without a shred of doubt.

Op i have no helpful suggestions i just wanted to say i understand the torture of OCD-its all consuming.
Youre right youre son comes first and you have to do what you can to get through each day.

How do you think she would cope at the rehiring centre?

Did they think she would be easily rehomed? I would worry she will either never leave the centre or be returned a few times. It could be a fairly miserable, stressful and lonely life for her.

Sorry to be negative and I appreciate this is an awful dilemma for you. But please take hat into account when weighing up your options.

The current situation clearly isn’t sustained for your son’s mental health. But make sure the rehoming centre are honest about the life she is likely to have with them.

Rehoming not rehiring.

And should have said you have my sympathy - what as awful, heartbreaking situation.

Thanks @Dolly and @Wynston.

The lady at RSPCA did say they have some very long stay cats, which is worrying. My sister said if it all becomes too much, it’d be better to put her down but that just seems like a huge last resort. I’ve had 3 rescue cats over the years. They can be happily rehomed but ....what if my cat isn’t?

RSPCA do put them down. Someone near me had her cat taken because it was thin. It was thin because it was old, not ill. It was driven around for ages while the man did his other visits and then PTS. No-one checked for a chip until it was dead. This is not the only incident I know of.

They also don't take back cats that they have rehomed if something goes wrong. Maybe some branches might but I know of 2 cats that ended up in a sanctuary when their owner got too ill to keep them because they were too old and the RSPCA wouldn't take them back.

I have helped out with rescuing over the years, and this is not hearsay. Obviously some pets are sick or difficult, many of them can go to a sanctuary where they can live out their days if they have issues, there are places that take them and they can come and go, try finding a sanctuary rather than a rescue.

@MissKittyBeaudelais I do understand. My sister has it very badly. Both my husband and I also suffer (but over different things).

You sound as if you’re at your wits’ end. If you have to put the cat down , don’t feel bad about it. You’re not cruel. You’ve done everything you can.

Rehome the poor thing. My god