Posting here for traffic ... cat euthanasia

[MissKittyBeaudelais]

Female neutered cat aged 12. Not old, old. Suddenly started weeing/pooing in the house. Not asking to go out. Not using litter tray. Dog, eating/rolling in the poo 🤢

Biggest problem is, I have a 19yr old son with autism and excruciating OCD (has been under psychiatric consultation/treatment and medicated since age 10). Cat mostly goes in son’s bathroom and spare room. I always remember to keep those doors closed. Sometimes, I don’t or cat pushes door open.

I’m at my wits end. I’m contemplating having the cat put down. The house stinks. The dog stinks. My son’s hands are raw from washing and I’m having to wash his slippers and shoes in rotation so that they’re not “contaminated” when moving about the house.

Advice? Tried Feliway. Tried a herbal relaxing food supplement. Tried putting her in a room at night WITH accessible litter. No difference. Cat was a feral rescue from a farm. Got her as a kitten, 12 yrs ago.

OP, considering your wider issues and considerations, then putting the cat to sleep seems like a perfectly rational and appropriate solution. Sorry that some posters on here lack the empathy to realise that you may need to make a difficult decision in the best interests of your son.

Seriously who is going to walk into a rehoming centre and ask for an elderly incontinent cat? They just aren't going to do that and it's cruel to leave an already stressed cat or one that might have dementia languishing in that environment.

Don’t put the poor cat outside at night. To cold.

Have you got enough litter trays? You should have one per cat plus one. My cat will only pee in one and poo in the other.

Also make sure you've cleaned the area properly, not with bleach.

@MogHog... I found this:- it has a microchip flap on it so that if it is an outside force that’s stressing her, it cannot get in.

What I might do is put her out when I go to bed then set an alarm for say 2am and call her in. Yes it’s cold but she has her small shelter and blankets.

www.amazon.co.uk/SnuggleSafe-Microwave-Wireless-Heatpad-Fleece/dp/B0014LJKUA?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

This is great and stay warm for hours.

If I was elderly, double incontinent, forgetting to use the toilet and creating problems for the people I loved, I couldn't think of a better way to end my days than going quietly to sleep, not knowing a thing about it.

I'm not saying you should PTS, just that a quick, painless and peaceful death is far more merciful than a drawn-out painful end. If you have to decide on this, please remember that it is the last kindness you can give her.

That looks good
I wouldn't worry too much about it being cold. Enough blankets in there and as it's got a door it soon becomes cosy in there.

We tried everything to get her to stay in on a night and she just wouldn't have it. I too was worried about her being cold as she isn't the biggest cat but she's been fine.

@ViciousJackdaw thanks. Putting to sleep has to be my final desperate resort because she’s a young and healthy cat. I thought if she could be rehomed she’d have the chance to have a less stressful life but then, you don’t know do you? She’s a tiny girl. Only 4kg.

She’s gorgeous. I’ve known cats who have been toileting inappropriately to be fine in a new environment, so it’s certainly something I would try. A quiet home with just one person may suit her. Maybe someone retired with time to spare.

Vicious The cat isn’t elderly, they can live to their late teens and beyond. She also is not doubly incontinent. She is toileting inappropriately. There is a difference. There will be a reason for this whether it’s medical, environmental or stress. The purpose of euthanasia is to relieve suffering, with a clean bill of health and the cat certainly looking content in those photos (dozing in a vulnerable stomach exposed position) it is difficult to justify euthanasia. I am not minimising the OPs difficult situation, but there is likely to be a solution in some form that doesn’t involve putting the cat down.

If I was elderly, double incontinent, forgetting to use the toilet and creating problems for the people I loved, I couldn't think of a better way to end my days than going quietly to sleep, not knowing a thing about it.

I vehemently disagree. If I were the cat and I couldn’t be with my family any more then I would prefer to spend the rest of my days in a safe little self contained flat of a space in the RSPCA being fed and loved by the volunteers.

There is literally no need to euthanise the cat when the RSPCA have said they’ll have her.

Why not a lock for your sons bedroom and bathroom? And some overshoes for son to wear round the house or crocs that are washable/can be disinfected?

Give celia hammond a try. They have a sanctuary near Hastings where the unhomeable rescues live. It really is lovely there.
They took 3 of my mum's cats when she died. They were semi feral and did used to wee out of the tray. I did however promise (they didn't ask) to send money for them each month. I think that may have helped me get them in there. Because of their toileting, and because they didn't like being touched I wanted them to go there rather than rspca.

My full sympathies OP, you clearly love your cat and obviously your son. I have an inlaw with OCD, not related to contamination, and it's heartbreaking and exhausting in equal measures for his immediate family, This situation would literally drive his wife mad.

I see there are plenty of posters who think feel strongly that rehoming should be the only route the OP takes. Nobody has asked where OP lives, or stated their own area, and volunteered. Interesting that, especially as the cat is beautiful too.

Good luck OP, that hutch with the chipped entrance looks great!

Thank you. Some thoughtful and kind replies there.

So... she went out at 11pm and wasn’t thrilled. I got up at 1am and she was at the front door and came in. Came and slept on my bed with lots of head and ear rubs, purring like a very happy cat. No problem except DH snoring! 🙄😊 No mess overnight, litter available and unused.

Excellent!

In the photos, you can see how tiny she is. She’s put on a little weight recently from 3.5kg to 4+kg so, the vet said that’s a sign of a healthy cat. And yes, she’s often to be found sprawled on my bed, belly up, enjoying the sunshine 😉

@Kraai...interesting point. No one wanting a stressed cat then!

It sounds like something is stressing the cat and it might be related to your son's behaviour of he's cleaning or getting you to clean more. It sounds like living with a cat is getting to be too much for him so rehoming might be the best option. I hope the other options you are pursuing work but ultimately you have to do what's best for your son.

I missed the bit re:vets? Did they say anything useful? Often it can be a medical thing...or stress.

12 is not old for a cat and lots of people will take on a cat at that age. Most cats would still have 6 or more years left. My old rescue (feral too) cat lived until she was 20. Another of our cats lived until 22. I would always look at older cats rather than kittens as they tend to get overlooked.

There is obviously something stressing her out, cats are clean animals so her doing her business out of a litter tray is unusual. You could try having a second somewhere. Maybe she doesn't like pooping where she is weeing.

Cats are amazing at picking up on situations (mine know when I'm sad and always come for a cuddle) and she has probably picked up on your sons stresses and OCD. She is also probably aware of how you are feeling.

@MamaKarmaLlama... the vet gave her a clean bill of health.

I vehemently disagree. If I were the cat and I couldn’t be with my family any more then I would prefer to spend the rest of my days in a safe little self contained flat of a space in the RSPCA being fed and loved by the volunteers.

It’s a good job you’re not a cat then. Cats are generally very stressy animals. They don’t cope very well with things changing - new homes, new cats in their territory, etc. Taking an elderly cat and moving her into an unknown location with a load of stranger could exacerbate her issues. It sounds awful to you, but actually it is likely to be kinder to put a cat down then cause them additional, unnecessary anxiety.

Think of it from your perspective - imagine being taken from your family without any explanation, put in an enclosed location and having strangers wander in randomly with food but and no means to escape. Does that sound like a happy existence to you?

My cat spent two weeks in a Cattery when she was one. Totally stressed her out. She stopped eating and spent two weeks hiding in her basket (which was from home). She ended up in the vet she got herself so worked up. Was absolutely fine as soon as we got her home. But the guilt nearly killed me☹️.

In these circumstances I couldn’t hand her over to a rescue. I fully feel OP’s pain here and think she is doing a marvellous job of trying to accommodate the cat’s needs along with her sons.

An animal PTS is not suffering sometimes it is the kindest thing to do. Hopefully, some of the things you are trying will work before that though. You might find something useful here...

icatcare.org/advice/soiling-indoors/

Kinder for whom? Car has no health issues so no need to PTS. Am sure someone will re-home successfully if needed be. Have you tried Feliway?