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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel upset over what MIL said?

88 replies

navteexo · 01/01/2020 13:26

Happy new year to you all.

For christmas, me and DH got MIL a new adidas tracksuit. She had been complaining for ages that she doesnt have one and that the last one she ever had was 22 years ago and she would love a new one. Anyways, when she opened up her present on Christmas day, she said "oh, this is really nice. Lovely colour". Then she opened up the present from her daughter, and it was a similar tracksuit but in a different colour. She said in front of everyone, "i prefer this one, the one you got me is too thick, go and return it".
We let it slide, because it was xmas day, and we couldn't be bothered to let anyone upset us (prior to this she had made many random comments in an attempt to upset me on that day but I ignored it)

anyways, we didnt get round to returning it yet. She walks into the living room this morning, complaining about how cold it is. DH jokingly said "well now would be a good time to wear that tracksuit!"
she responds with "what did i tell you to do with that tracksuit? return it, and next time dont buy me cheap and rubbish clothes".

Firstly, it wasnt cheap..for us anyway. We are financially tight and already have a baby on the way, we got what we could afford. I dont think £45 for a tracksuit is that cheap. Secondly, we put thought into this with the colour etc. Thirdly, why call it cheap and rubbish? when your own daughter got you a similar tracksuit?!

The look on DH face when she said that really got to me, he usually speaks up and tells her shes wrong but today hes been really quiet since. I can tell he is genuinely hurt, and so am I. Its like she waits for a special day or occasion to hurt us, its New years and she just couldnt take that me, DH and DS are relaxing watching TV. She just HAD to go and upset us by saying that.

As much as I am trying to let it go, I just cant help but feel down about it. Maybe next time a box of chocolates will be all she is getting. DH's sister gave us a similar reaction too, got her a mascara gift set and she said "oh, mascara, is that it? ..thanks?" and then told us it was a joke. Really?

We are moving out this year, because she is a toxic person and although it is tradition (In their culture) for one of the sons to stay with his parents and look after them, we wont be.

Dont even want to be at home with them today, everything is closed though so dont think we could even go out anywhere today.

sorry for the essay, just wanted to get it off my chest x

OP posts:

Pixxie7 · 02/01/2020 01:41

She sounds extremely ungrateful look after yourselves and leave her to get on with it.

PanicAndRun · 02/01/2020 01:57

@Hmmmwhatsthat MN hates tracksuits at any age. It's a thing. A daft thing,but a thing.

UndertheCedartree · 02/01/2020 02:18

I was a bit about the snobbery over tracksuits. Just because you are a GM doesn't mean you have to dress 'elegantly' or whatever. However my DM is actually very glamourous (she is v.dissapointed I haven't turned out the same!). But even she wears tracksuits when she is exercising. Didn't know you had to be an athlete to wear them! I'm not so coordinated but wear joggers and hoodies for comfort sometimes (as well as the gym). Do you have to be an athlete to wear those too?

AriadneAufNaxos · 02/01/2020 02:23

But even she wears tracksuits when she is exercising. Didn't know you had to be an athlete to wear them! I'm not so coordinated but wear joggers and hoodies for comfort sometimes (as well as the gym). Do you have to be an athlete to wear those too?

Wearing them in the gym / for exercise is acceptable. Wearing them as just normal clothes- no. Track suits are functional but hideous. I don't know why anyone would be seen dead in the them if not using them for sport/ exercise.

eaglejulesk · 02/01/2020 02:27

Return the tracksuit, keep the money, move out as soon as possible - and no more presents! She is rude and ungrateful, and it sounds as though her daughter is going down the same road.

UndertheCedartree · 02/01/2020 02:28

@Ariadne - ah my DM's ok then! I wear them sometimes for comfort as I've put on a lot of weight due to medication and pretty much none of my normal clothes fit me! And I don't really give a fuck what other people think of my clothes as I wear them for myself not for others approval

eaglejulesk · 02/01/2020 02:30

Wearing them as just normal clothes- no. Track suits are functional but hideous. I don't know why anyone would be seen dead in the them if not using them for sport/ exercise.

Did you not get the memo that everyone is entitled to wear whatever they want without judgement from others? Thought not.

dustypots · 02/01/2020 02:37

Wear the tracksuit (if it fits) you the pants DH the top.. Ungrateful MIL.. Sound so rude, bitch needs to get some perspective.. She got 2 tracksuits! gezz

AriadneAufNaxos · 02/01/2020 02:39

Did you not get the memo that everyone is entitled to wear whatever they want without judgement from others? Thought not

Wear what you want. You are "entitled " to You (general you) however have no entitlement whatsoever to stop me thinking, or saying on an anonymous internet forum, that I think tracksuits are hideous. So no I didn't get "the memo".

AriadneAufNaxos · 02/01/2020 02:41

And I don't really give a fuck what other people think of my clothes as I wear them for myself not for others approval

I'm sure you do. I equally have every right to think tracksuits are hideous.

UndertheCedartree · 02/01/2020 02:47

@Ariadne - you do indeed! Just found it a bit strange that you couldn't understand why others would wear them!

eaglejulesk · 02/01/2020 07:25

You are missing the whole point - which is that you are judgemental towards people who wear something you do not like. You can think whatever you like, however you seem to be going out of your way to be unpleasant and rude to a bunch of people you don't even know! I don't actually wear tracksuits myself, but if others want to good on them!

Seriously I had no idea there were so many rude people in the world who seem to think they must point out to others the error of their ways, in posts which actually have no bearing on the original post.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 02/01/2020 09:13

Well of course your MIL wants you and your DH to stick around, so that you can become her unpaid carer in the future - that's no reason for you both to actually DO so though!

Keep making your plans to get out. She should learn to be nicer to people she will come to depend upon - but it's too late now.

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