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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel upset over what MIL said?

88 replies

navteexo · 01/01/2020 13:26

Hi

Happy new year to you all.

For christmas, me and DH got MIL a new adidas tracksuit. She had been complaining for ages that she doesnt have one and that the last one she ever had was 22 years ago and she would love a new one. Anyways, when she opened up her present on Christmas day, she said "oh, this is really nice. Lovely colour". Then she opened up the present from her daughter, and it was a similar tracksuit but in a different colour. She said in front of everyone, "i prefer this one, the one you got me is too thick, go and return it".
We let it slide, because it was xmas day, and we couldn't be bothered to let anyone upset us (prior to this she had made many random comments in an attempt to upset me on that day but I ignored it)

anyways, we didnt get round to returning it yet. She walks into the living room this morning, complaining about how cold it is. DH jokingly said "well now would be a good time to wear that tracksuit!"
she responds with "what did i tell you to do with that tracksuit? return it, and next time dont buy me cheap and rubbish clothes".

Firstly, it wasnt cheap..for us anyway. We are financially tight and already have a baby on the way, we got what we could afford. I dont think £45 for a tracksuit is that cheap. Secondly, we put thought into this with the colour etc. Thirdly, why call it cheap and rubbish? when your own daughter got you a similar tracksuit?!

The look on DH face when she said that really got to me, he usually speaks up and tells her shes wrong but today hes been really quiet since. I can tell he is genuinely hurt, and so am I. Its like she waits for a special day or occasion to hurt us, its New years and she just couldnt take that me, DH and DS are relaxing watching TV. She just HAD to go and upset us by saying that.

As much as I am trying to let it go, I just cant help but feel down about it. Maybe next time a box of chocolates will be all she is getting. DH's sister gave us a similar reaction too, got her a mascara gift set and she said "oh, mascara, is that it? ..thanks?" and then told us it was a joke. Really?

We are moving out this year, because she is a toxic person and although it is tradition (In their culture) for one of the sons to stay with his parents and look after them, we wont be.

Dont even want to be at home with them today, everything is closed though so dont think we could even go out anywhere today.

sorry for the essay, just wanted to get it off my chest x

OP posts:
Marmablade · 01/01/2020 14:14

Return the tracksuit and spend the money on something that makes you happy.

pointythings · 01/01/2020 14:15

Return the tracksuit. Buy her something awful from Poundland. Move out quickly. Never buy her a present again.

Singlenotsingle · 01/01/2020 14:16

Everywhere isn't closed. Ive just been out, and was surprised that everywhere was open. Go out.

confusedandemployed · 01/01/2020 14:17

Wow what an absolute bitch, that is perhaps the most hurtful thing I've read for ages.

Get out as soon as you humanly can and don't waste a kilojoule more of your energy on her.

Blackbear19 · 01/01/2020 14:20

Return the tracksuit - it says about all we need to know. Keep the cash for setting up your own place. Move out asap!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 01/01/2020 14:22

She's an ungrateful, ungracious and rude woman. And her DD seems to be taking after her.

Return the tracksuit, keep the money, buy her some cheap garage flowers and get the hell out of there as soon as you ever can.

BananaChocolateLump · 01/01/2020 14:22

I'd go upstairs, put the tracksuit on, and just go and sit on the sofa and not say anything. If she then points it out, tell her she hated it so much you thought you'd get the use of it. £45 is very expensive! Get your moneys worth out of it.

NaomiFromMilkShake · 01/01/2020 14:23

How old is she ?

A tracksuit ?

Sounds very Little Britain.

2020BetterBeBetter · 01/01/2020 14:24

Return the tracksuit. Keep the money. Move out.

^This!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 01/01/2020 14:24

Or Waynetta Slob...

SnuggyBuggy · 01/01/2020 14:26

I wouldn't put much effort into this relationship

TheMustressMhor · 01/01/2020 14:39

I would be crushed by this behaviour.

Your poor DH. What a bitch his mother is.

ohfourfoxache · 01/01/2020 14:41

Return it and get something cheap and non refundable. A cheap, tacky pair of earrings ought to do it

diddl · 01/01/2020 14:42

Is only 1st Jan-why would you have already returned the tracksuit?

Why couldn't she have 2?

Hope you're moving out very soon!

i agree to return it & get her nothing.

She sounds awful.

She was actually bought what she asked for & still bitched!

Shesalittlemadam · 01/01/2020 14:47

Unbelievable. YANBU

A Grandmother that wears an Adidas Tracksuit? Hmm She is BVVVVU for that alone! Unless she's on an episode of Shameless Xmas Grin
Anyway, don't let cultural differences excuse her abhorrent behaviour - confront her! I'd have stood in front of her as she tried to leave the room and had it out with her, whether she liked it or not!

BeTheHokeyMan · 01/01/2020 14:54

What sort of mil asks for an adidas tracksuit for Xmas Confused Just trying to picture my lovely elegant mil clad in adidas fron head to toe Grin

DishingOutDone · 01/01/2020 14:54

Hope you can move out soon OP away from this toxic environment. Are you saving to buy or rent?

BeaLola · 01/01/2020 14:59

My MIL is the same - that feels sooooo good typing that ! The only reason she is in my life is that I am married to her lovely son (her only child) - who she treats appallingly

Take the gift back & spend the money on yourselves
Happy New Year to you

beautifulstranger101 · 01/01/2020 14:59

She should be ashamed of her appalling behaviour.

Next time i'd get her some of that fake dupe perfume from the pound shop, or something equally as cheap and tacky. If she doesnt appreciate kind, thoughtful presents she can have something thoughtless instead as what's the point if she's going be rude about it? Fck her.

needanewnamechange · 01/01/2020 15:06

To hell with letting it go what a horrible thing to say .
In future just don't bother, you and your dh need to stop seeking approval from this witch .

StrangeLookingParasite · 01/01/2020 15:06

"i prefer this one, the one you got me is too thick, go and return it".

My god, the rudeness.

Return it, and give her a lump of coal.

Durgasarrow · 01/01/2020 15:12

This is completely unacceptable. Why should people treat family members with less courtesy than they would treat a stranger? You are within your rights to speak to her directly and say "You may never speak to me or my husband again in that insulting fashion." She can try to wriggle out of it, but she knows what she did. The onus is on her.

peanutfoldover · 01/01/2020 15:16

Keep it yourself and wear it around the house

Emeraldshamrock · 01/01/2020 15:19

I'd return it exchange it for a nice pair of trainers for myself.
Miserable toad. I wouldn't buy for her again.
I see you live there so my idea could be awkward. Are you paying rent electric bill etc.

LumpyPillow · 01/01/2020 15:20

Also, her daughter's response to your present of mascara (I would be thrilled!) was also very, very rude and strange. I hate it when people do that, try and make out it's a joke, but... it's not funny in the slightest.

Very simple minds. Rejoice in that your brain doesn't work their way theirs do. You will be out of there one day, always remember it's not you, it's them.