To not get why couples with kids don’t lock their bedroom door

[Lycidas]

No child wants to walk in on their parents having sex, but so many posters on MN seems to think this is an inevitable and somewhat amusing occurrence. Why? Why not install a lock on the door to prevent any such wanderings in? It’s so rarely even suggested here whenever a child walks in on their parents DTD.

And no, this is not the same as being comfortable with nudity around your kids and anyone suggesting as such is batshit.

A lock on the bedroom door used when having sex. Hmmm. Might as well put a sign on saying
'Do not enter parents having sex.'
Children are not stupid.

I teach my son to knock if a bedroom door is closed. It’s just good manners.

It works both ways. My ds is approaching teenage years. I have no desire to walk in to his room at an inappropriate moment.

YANBU OP, but then a lot on MN don't care if their children hear them DTD either

Well I share a room with my 5yr old son, we only have 2 bedrooms and DP sleeps downstairs so as not to wake us all with his snoring! We DTD when the kids are at school.

It is just weird to me that a home would have locks on doors. You should be teaching your children about privacy and manners, locks are a lazy cop out.

Door locks aren’t for me. As far as I’m concerned this is DD’s home and she can go where she wants. She hasn’t found it hard to understand that only applies here.

When we moved in here there were bolts on the outside of bedroom doors. That disturbed me a lot.

How strange.

My kids have never been taught to knock.

If the kids are awake it would not put me in the mood anyway.

Mine are 9 and 7 and this has never happened and I'd be horrified.

I never caught my parents either and I wasn't told not to knock.

How often and at what time of the day are you all having sex?

Or are these new partners while all the kids are downstairs and told to
play? This did happen when we were 14-18 but it was still grim.

We used to (empty nest now) wedge the door shut just for when we dtd. All other times it was open and the children could come in if they needed us.

I learned this the hard way, I now have a lock near the top of the door frame and an old cat collar on the ‘stair’gate.

A slidy bolt just in case seems fine. It's not like you'd keep it locked all night! I taught dc to knock. My bedroom is in their house but its not their private space past a certain age. Even parents are allowed some privacy! I knock first on their bedroom door too. Boundaries are healthy!

I agree! And for those talking about safety etc - I would only lock it while having sex, NOT for the whole night. It would get unlocked before we went to sleep.

We have a simple slide across lock very slim and discreet (not like a massive gate bolt) and we only ever use it for when we are dtd. We certainly dont keep the door locked all night.

Im sure a young child who wakes having had a nightmare and just wants Mummy or Daddy is going to be in a rational state of mind to think oooh i better knock first!! Ffs. got bugger all to do with manners.

We chuck a pillow in front of the door - gives us enough of a chance to ‘prepare’ ourselves 😂

Mine are teenagers. They've never walked in on us DTD and I don't think they would knock if they wanted to come in either. But they just generally don't wander about at night and if they are up we can hear them anyway. I've never lived anywhere with locks on bedroom doors.

Locks on bedroom doors?? Never, ever seen one. I would find that quite odd. We don't lock bathroom doors either. But like others, if the door to whichever room is closed, you knock and ask permission to come in.

Growing up, a close friend lived in a house where everyone in the family (her parents and siblings) locked their bedroom doors. Now that was weird.

It was a large house in North London with several floors and my friend and her siblings each had their own room. I remember finding it so bizarre when I slept over as a 14 year old and saw my friend locking her door when we went out in the morning. They were (and are) a normal, warm happy family as far as I'm aware but when I told my dad he shook his head and said "something is not right in that house".

I find this interest in how other people manage their sex lives with kids strangely prurient tbh. It seems to arouse a degree of judgement which is disproportionate to the topic.

I've never seen anywhere with a lock on the bedroom door! I would find it really weird.

It’s basic manners to teach them to knock

I’m far more worried about walking in on them than the other way round, equally though I don’t want locked doors in my home

Yabu. I'm with all the posters who say they don't want a locked door between them and their kids.

It's unnecessary. Having sex late at night when they are likely to be asleep, a closed door and keeping the noise down is enough. My 11 year old knows to knock at night time when the door is closed. And my other children can't come in as they have a safety gate across their room.

We do actually have a lock and have occasionally used it. But most of the time we don't bother.

Sex is not so traumatising that a child accidentally glimpsing some is going to be scarred for life. If the sex you are having is, maybe that is something to think about??

I had bolts on the outside of my door, and the study/guest bedroom, @JacquesHammer. They were used when son had his little friends around so that my stuff wasn't messed with. If the bolts you saw were right at the top of the doors, I'm sure that's the reason they were there when you moved in.

ChristmasFluff

Can totally understand that. Don’t think that scenario fit here though. The previous owners weren’t here long enough to have been in the house when their children were small. The locks were on the three kids rooms. Was very unpleasant and we removed them straightaway!