To have a bedtime for my children?

[hellobello]

I like to be able to put the children to bed, so that me and dh can have a bit of grown-up time in the evening.

cat64, you are so right! If both parents work outside the home, it is literally impossible to get school aged kids to bed by 7.30 if you have to get dinner, homework, swimming, ballet, football, bath etc done after 6pm

My dd is only 10mths and she go's to bed a 7.30pm. You need those few hours to relax etc, i don't see that as being selfish or wrong.

Dh gets home some time between 6.30 and 7.00 usually. He plays with the children, gives them a bath (not every night...) and puts them to bed about 7.30 - 7.45. We have dinner after they're in bed.

But mine are still quite little (6 and 3) - it will be more tricky as they get older I think.

Of course I don't think wanting time to youself (or myself!) is selfish or wrong! But I also love the evening time when we sit round as a family and chat and sometimes play a game and generally unwind together. If mine went to bed any earlier that wouldn't happen, and I think it's a really important peice of family "glue"I think I've always felt like this - but maybe it's become more important as the children get older (they are 6 and 11). I think that I now think of us as a family unit of 4 rather than 2 adults and 2 children. Does that make any sense?

Oh and everyone is so right about bedtimes changing once outside activities rear their (sometime extremely ugly) heads. DD doesn't get home from Scouts til 10 on a Friday(!)

Mine all go to bed at 8 during term time - lights off at 8.30pm. They all have the same bedtime because they all share a room. DS1 is usually asleep first , followed by DD. DS2 is often still awake at 10pm but, short of smacking him over the head with a brick, I can't make him sleep. His bedtime isn't going to change though We don't eat dinner until 6.45ish (when DH gets home) so an earlier bedtime wouldn't work. I never have to wake them in the morning, so I figure they're getting enough sleep.

Oh and for the me-time bit (which I agree is very important) I get plenty as I rarely go to bed before 12 (on the nights I work I don't get home until 1am, so it doesn't seem 'late' to me)

I don't think it really matters what time bedtime is, but I don't think it's fair to let children amble off to bed when they feel like it.