To have a bedtime for my children?

[hellobello]

I like to be able to put the children to bed, so that me and dh can have a bit of grown-up time in the evening.

[hellobello]

I don't think it really matters what time bedtime is, but I don't think it's fair to let children amble off to bed when they feel like it.

[serenity]

Oh and for the me-time bit (which I agree is very important) I get plenty as I rarely go to bed before 12 (on the nights I work I don't get home until 1am, so it doesn't seem 'late' to me)

[serenity]

Mine all go to bed at 8 during term time - lights off at 8.30pm. They all have the same bedtime because they all share a room. DS1 is usually asleep first , followed by DD. DS2 is often still awake at 10pm but, short of smacking him over the head with a brick, I can't make him sleep. His bedtime isn't going to change though We don't eat dinner until 6.45ish (when DH gets home) so an earlier bedtime wouldn't work. I never have to wake them in the morning, so I figure they're getting enough sleep.

[seeker]

Oh and everyone is so right about bedtimes changing once outside activities rear their (sometime extremely ugly) heads. DD doesn't get home from Scouts til 10 on a Friday(!)

[seeker]

Of course I don't think wanting time to youself (or myself!) is selfish or wrong! But I also love the evening time when we sit round as a family and chat and sometimes play a game and generally unwind together. If mine went to bed any earlier that wouldn't happen, and I think it's a really important peice of family "glue"I think I've always felt like this - but maybe it's become more important as the children get older (they are 6 and 11). I think that I now think of us as a family unit of 4 rather than 2 adults and 2 children. Does that make any sense?

[TellusMater]

Dh gets home some time between 6.30 and 7.00 usually. He plays with the children, gives them a bath (not every night...) and puts them to bed about 7.30 - 7.45. We have dinner after they're in bed.

But mine are still quite little (6 and 3) - it will be more tricky as they get older I think.

[BacktoBasics]

My dd is only 10mths and she go's to bed a 7.30pm. You need those few hours to relax etc, i don't see that as being selfish or wrong.

[soiph]

cat64, you are so right! If both parents work outside the home, it is literally impossible to get school aged kids to bed by 7.30 if you have to get dinner, homework, swimming, ballet, football, bath etc done after 6pm

[Ripeberry]

My DD1 is just over 5yrs old and we usually start getting ready for bed by 8pm.
Its this late as my DH does not get back from work until 6.50pm and then he has his supper and then has time for a play with them.
But DD1 can be a bit naughty and sometimes plays in her room until 10pm
DD2 who is 2yrs old, usually is out like a light and luckily they have a bedroom each so don't disturb each other.
AB

[kamsmum]

We used to have bedtime between 8 and 8.30 pm for dd, 4.8, and ds, 15 months. Even if dd is not tired she has to go to bed and "read" for a little while which she loves as it makes her feel all grown up.
Since dd has been at school it is much earlier. She is so tired.

I do feel like I am in a minority though. All the neighbours' kids are still running about until it is dark and my SIL lets her boys doze on the couch all evening till she goes to bed herself and then she finally takes them upstairs.

I really do need time for myself and my DH at the end of the day.....and every other waking minute that is not taken up by work or school is family time!

[seeker]

I quite often have a glass of wine while they are having their hot chocolate! The dcs tease me about mummy's bedtime drink!

[carries]

My DD1 is 3 and has always loved her bed and just dropped her mid-day nap when she turned 3 sob, if we try and keep her up later (for visitors etc) she is begging to go to bed by 7.15. She is in bed and alseep by 7 pm most of the time, latest would be 7.30.

DD2 is nearly 7 months and we started a bedtime routine with her at 3 weeks and since she is in bed by 6.45 and most nights sleeps through till 7.

I know I have kids who love their sleep but also need it. I'm enjoying it while it lasts!

Any person who thinks I'm a controlling mum is right cos if parents don't have some sort of discipline over their kids will end up with a nightmare on their hands. We are parents not just their pals. that's my opinion anyway.

[lilackaty]

My kids are almost 4 and 7. They are both in bed by 7.30 and the 7 year old reads til 8. I am a teacher and need the evenings to do marking and preparation. Our family time is very rare cos dh works 3 out of 4 weekends but he sees them lots when I am at work. DD does Brownies and on that night she just goes to bed a bit later. Bedtimes are important for mine

[ragdollyanna]

My dh works away alot of the week so I am usually on my own from Mon to Thursday. Our family time is therefore at weekends.

When he is not working away he is usually home around 4.30 so we always get to have our meals together. We are lucky as although he works away alot he is self employed so can fit his work around school things.

I do agree with Seeker though about the after school stuff. We have not had a problem with this so far as ds1 went to Rainbows on a Tuesday but is home for 6.45 and both have swimming lessons on a Friday so have a later bed time (non school night). But ds1 is just about to go up to Brownies and this does not finish until 8pm. I share the run with a friend whose dh also works away and also has a 5 year old. We had decided that on the nights when both hubbies were away they would not be able to go to Brownies as we did not want to drag the 5 year olds out at that time. Fortunately my neighbour has stepped in and offered to babysit my dd2 on those nights.

It can make set bedtimes quite difficult when you have all the after school activities.

Ragdolly

[GodzillasBumcheek]

If you mean me (glass of wine), i was kidding - i hardly ever drink

Anyway, off to read story now.

[LucyJones]

My dh comes home at 5.30pm. We spend an hour all togther and then bedtime starts. It's not the same having a glass of wine when they are stll up. it'ds like a reward for getting through another day

[seeker]

Oh and why do you have to wait til they are in bed before you have a glass of wine?!

[seeker]

can I ask a question of all the "me time" people? When do you have "family time"? Or are you lucky enough all to have dps who are home by 5.30? We have bed times but they have never been super early, simply because we value time spent chatting, playing games and drinking hot chocolate all together. My two are always (well, nearly always) in bed by 8.45 and asleep by 9 - any earlier and their father would hardly see them during the week.

[GodzillasBumcheek]

I am going to put a shower rail up around my fave comfy chair. When the twins get to the age when i can't tell them to go to bed (at the mo it's after i read them a story though), i will simply pull the rail around, sit back with a book and a drink (yes, alcoholic...they will be taking themselves to bed ) and cue the hamlet cigar music.

[unknownrebelbang]

Spot on Cat64, lol.

[tori32]

Andy are you related to me? because your nephew sounds exactly like mine!!!!! DITTO about your attitude to it!!!

[GodzillasBumcheek]

Bedtime for the littley (8months) is 7pm (give or take 15mins), and up again at 7.15am (though she has a good chatter for half an hour at 5 or 6am).
Bedtime for the 10yr olds is 9pm, lights out at 9.30. Up at 7.15 in term time, and about 8 or 9 in hols. For some reason though they keep just going to sleep at 9pm as though they are reeeeaaaaly tired. Not even back at school yet - i think they are becoming teenagers early

[sazzybee]

7pm here for DS who is 5.5 months. He gets really grumpy if I keep him up later than that. I'm going back to work in 6 weeks though so I might push it back till 7.30 so I get to spend a bit more time with him.

[Mamamoor]

DD1 is 5.5 yrs and dd2 is 1.5 yrs. We Go upstairs at around 6.30 pm and depending whether it's bath night or not (every other night) they are in bed for 7pm or 7.15 pm after milk and stories. @Just couldn't do anything to spend any time with dh if it was later as we don't stay up too late either - too knackerd! They both drop of pretty quickly and don't wake too early. Will probably change as dd1 gets older and she can go to bed a bit later.