To have a bedtime for my children?

[hellobello]

I like to be able to put the children to bed, so that me and dh can have a bit of grown-up time in the evening.

I think when children have black bags under their eyes having only been up an hour its time they had an earlier bedtime.

My sister has 7 children (inc two sets of twins) the one thing they do ensure is that bedtimes are adhered to. It keeps them sane...

I put my 2 to bed at 7 every night and they are generaly asleep by eight - after stories etc. DD sometimes plays up and i bring her down again till she settles - She is 17m I will be stricter about bedtime for her when she is 2. As we are still co-sleeping with me and dh - she will be in her own room by 2.

So no yanbu

So who says a bedtime is unreasonable?

Is this thread fathomable or should I not bother

Why on earth would you be flamed for this? Somebody please explain?!

Mine are usually in bed by 7 and sleeping, if I have got dinner ready in time, or bathtime didn't run over.
Sometimes DD2 (1yo) is in by 6:30. and up by 6 usually.
DD1 up between 6 and 6:30 usually.

I NEED the evening for peace and quiet time without being questioned and spoken to constantly. Goodness 12 hours of that in any day is enough.

I LOVE my evenings.

my 2.10yrs old dd had got a bedtime, since she was nearly 12 m old, we go up @ 7-7.30 and she be flat out by 8am till 7am -8am. She is perfect for this timescale but any less or any more she is so grumpy and hard to deal with.

A lot of you are talking about quite young children. Yes, it is lovely to have an evening of peace, but as they get older that evening will start to slip away from you and you will have to get used to them being around.

My DS is bathed at 6.45 ish and in bed by 7.30. Then DH & I have dinner / glass of vino and a chance to chill.

Wouldn't have it any other way.

DSs go to bed at 8.30 week days 9.00 Friday and Saturday.
If are are out for the day or a family party or something like that then they get to stay up later.

escapefrom do you really not know any children who need 12 hours sleep? My 6yo still usually has 11.5 hours and definitely was at his best with 12 hours at age 4. My 3yo sometimes has 11.5 hours at night plus 2 hours in the day. Sometimes she just has the 11.5 hours and other times she will have a shorter nap.

We have always had bedtimes for our children - 7.30. On Sunday we let them stay up late as we were at the ILs for their wedding anniversary. Then we put them in their pjs and DS fell asleep in the car at about 9.30 and DD when we got home at about 9.45, but she had had a 2.5 hour nap in the afternoon in preparation. But yesterday they were both tired, whiny children, but as it was the Bank Holiday it wasn't really a problem.

DS1 is now 9 and DS2 is now 7. On school days DS2 goes up between 7.30 and 8pm. Ds1 goes between 8pm -8.30. Occasionally DS1 will be allowed to stay up a bit later (if there a Scotland game on TV he's allowed to stay up till hal;f time). At the weekends and school holidays it's bit more flexible - at weekends they have two choices they can go to bed between 8 and 8.30 and watch a DVD, or they can stay up till 8.30 - 9.00 and go straight tbed, no DVD, books etc.

The one problem I have is that DS1 is an early riser, sometimes it can be as early as 6am, and he often wakens his brother. This of course can result in very grumpy children if they then have several later bedtimes
I see no problem with having set bedtimes. I commented on here about how my neighbour lets her 4,6 and 8 year old outside playing on school nights after 9pm during the summer, and the noise that comes from next door between 10 and 11.30 as she gets them into bed is unreal. When I posted this someone commented that in this country we seem to hide our children away. I think that in my situation, where I haven't slept properly in 2 months, DS1 is up at 6am, then I want some down time at the other end of the day.

During term time my 2 go to bed at 7.30. My 5 year old has her light off straight away (her choice) and my almost 7 year old tends to keep hers on for 15 mins or so. DS1 goes up to juniors this time so we have said that she may stay up until 7.45 and keep her light on until 8pm.

During holiday time they are both in bed by 8pm unless we are going out.

DH and I want our me time.

My nephew has no set bedtime (he is 10). He very often goes to bed after his parents!!!!!!! What an insane idea. For a start how do they know what he is watching on tv at that time of night. He does very badly at school and then they wonder why - it doesnt seem to dawn on them that going to bed at midnight on a school night might not be helping! Stupid people!

Ragdolly

My 4 kids go to bed at 7.30pm including the eldest even though he's 12. This is because they all get up at 6.45am and the eldest has to be on the bus to school by 7.20am. He still needs his sleep and until he's abit older he will carry on going to bed at that time. During holidays though its a completely different story and they go to bed anywhere between 8.30pm and 10pm.

Bozza - I don't know any over 4 - but I don't know VERY many children over four full stop. I DO know plenty who don't though, so I was just pointing out that people who send theirs to be at 9 for them to get up at 7 are not necessarily depriving them of the sleep they need, just not bothering setting themselves up for 2 hours shouting down the stairs from a non tired child!

Obviously every child's needs will be individual, but I teach a hell of a lot of kids 11-18 who don't get enough sleep. Black rings under their eyes, tired, poor concentration and irratable, all the stuff that you'd expect.

They stay up way too late, watching stuff on TV that is not appropriate for children of their age, which behaviourally is a double whammy

I have to agree MB. When I was teaching I saw lots of children who were just tired all day long. It was usually one of the first things I would bring up at parents evening. However, I don't think that was due to a lack of bedtime, more a lack of switching off TV time!!

I think a lot will depend on your own circumstances especially what time you get home from work/partner gets home etc. I'm constantly torn between an earlier bedtime and my DS not seeing DH at all all week apart from to give him a kiss goodnight which would happen if he went to bed before 7:30.

Oh yes escapefrom - I know plenty who don't need that amount of sleep but also those that do. Some of those that do, get enough sleep and some don't. You can really tell when my children have not had enough sleep - it doesn't happen often, mind you.

skimpty in our case they need a reasonable bedtime because when I am working they have to be up at 7 prompt and on the other days tend to get up at a similar time anyway - I assume their body clocks are set to this. It needs a run of a good few days off, for them to ajust to later sleeping and waking times.

My little boy, 2.8 years only ever sleeps 8-9 hours at night. So we put him to bed at 9pm,if he went to bed any earlier he'd be up at 4am!

Latest 14 month old goes to bed is 7.30pm - earliest 6.45pm ... never hear a peep from him after that. Has to be no later than 7.30 cos I'm gagging for my wine by then! Oh.. and he never gets up before 7.15am - bliss!

mine are aged between 13 and 7 so different bedtimes here.DS1 and 2 at 9pm on school days,DD1 and 2 at 8.might seem late to you butDH only home at 7.45 so when would he see them?not ideal for sure but not much i can do. DD are tired some mornings.school starts between 8 and 8.30 here on the cntinent.I have to be in my class for 7.45am!

NO. YANBU.

I actually think its unfair on the children if they dont have a proper bedtime. They are too young to know themselves how much sleep they should be getting.

I'm all for evenings without the children. Of course there are the times when they have the ODD late night, when friends are here etc. But they are rare.