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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

customer told me I was miserable as sin.

161 replies

loserlily · 31/12/2019 15:51

Feel very pathetic. Working in retail over Christmas during the Uni break.

On my shift, a woman in her 60s comes to the till. I serve her, and she snaps at me "I said I didnt want a bag!". I say sorry, take the bag off her purchase and carry on. After this, I didn't make an conversation with her, like I normally do, because she seems impatient and not wanting to talk.

She then decides she wants the bag, so I pass her it.

She snaps at me "are you having a bad day?" I said no.

She then shouts loudly "well you look as miserable as bloody sin". Grabs her receipt off me and leaves the shop.

I could feel my cheeks burning up, and my lip start doing that stupid wobbling thing. Had to carry on serving the next customer, who heard.

I feel pathetic for getting upset. AIBU to think she treated me like a piece of shit? Or is this an okay thing to say?

OP posts:
Stefoscope · 31/12/2019 16:57

YANBU, she spoke to you like shit and you didn't deserve that. I don't understand how some people lack such a basic level of empathy. Even if you were having a bad day and unhappy, telling you you look miserable was hardly necessary or going to make you feel better! I hope you're not working all night and have something nice planned for later Wine.

BackInTime · 31/12/2019 16:59

@Sh0na I think this sort of management is all too common. Unfortunately the serial complainers know this too so they will use the threat of 'I want to speak to your manager' to hold staff over a barrel.

RebelWithVerySharpClaws · 31/12/2019 16:59

She is mean as fuck and taking it out on a sales person who cannot talk back. She is a disgrace and also bet she would not pick on a person her own age because she would get a gobful - Don't worry OP - best revenge is to enjoy yourself, or maybe you have a gran who could duff her over.

millymoo1202 · 31/12/2019 17:02

People are horrible, I work in hospitality, I could write a book and always think if you could actually hear yourself back!! 😂

twoheaped · 31/12/2019 17:04

Sounds like my dm. She has done that sort of thing all her life, she didn't wait till she was old Hmm
Now I am able not to go shopping with her, I don't. When I was younger it was bloody mortifying.
Don't know why she does it, she is just a nasty bitch at times Angry

nevermorelenore · 31/12/2019 17:04

Some people are just arseholes. Rest assured, if you'd been smiling she would have had a go at you for being too happy. I once had to go look for something at the back of the shop that wasn't in stock. When I came back to tell the bloke I couldn't find it he told me to 'wipe that fucking smirk off your face when you're talking to me'. It made me feel quite shaky and lip quivery too!

Janaih · 31/12/2019 17:05

Some people are just nasty. Try not to let it get to you.
Years ago i worked in a co op type shop. The owners were the most miserable meanies you ever met. The only thing that made the job bearable was that they were rude to customers as well as us staff and allowed us to give as good as we got if we got a narky customer.

TSSDNCOP · 31/12/2019 17:06

I used to deal with arses like this by issuing curses. Try this;

-I hope you break down on the way to your party tonight, and it’s raining
-I hope your oven breaks down on Christmas morning
-I hope your heating breaks down on Christmas Eve. At about 9:30. And it’s snowing.

SteelRiver · 31/12/2019 17:08

Seems more like she was the one having a bad day and decided to take it out on you. Don't let her bad manners get you down.

Walkingthedog46 · 31/12/2019 17:08

Take no notice! Tomorrow you’ll be over it, but she will still be her miserable self.

RainbowAlicorn · 31/12/2019 17:09

I work in retail and I would have responded with well I wasn't and then I would have added have a nice day as she left. Retail is horrible, I once got called a fat slag for refusing to sell a drunk idiot alcohol because he was drunk 🤷‍♀️

AdoraBell · 31/12/2019 17:09

YANBU OP try to forget about this and your evening.

Drabarni · 31/12/2019 17:12

"are you having a bad day"?

Not until recently, no Grin

ssd · 31/12/2019 17:13

She sounds like the miserable cow here.
I know you're upset, just thank God she's not your mum/boss /wife

lynsey91 · 31/12/2019 17:15

Working in retail really opened my eyes as to just how rude some customers (sadly far too many) are.

Nearly 30 years working in an office and having to deal with some members of the public I only had one person rude to me. I started in retail and almost at once had rude customers. Far too many treat shop staff as though they were shit on their shoe

Hugsgalore · 31/12/2019 17:16

I think you need to develop a thicker skin tbh. Customers can be absolutely horrible. If you can't handle a minor incident like that then I think you might need to look for something that doesn't involve customers.

PlomBear · 31/12/2019 17:23

People are dickheads and the reason that I work in an office!

The public think they own retail workers.

midep · 31/12/2019 17:23

I always responded to nasty customers with extreme niceness, usually flummoxed them.

Welltroddenpath · 31/12/2019 17:24

I was in the bank as a customer this week. Ten minutes before it closed. It was really quite and some woman came in, tutted continually behind me, then shouts out “I don’t have time to QUEUE!!!” Then storms out the bank shouting hysterically. I was the only customer! She literally waited one minute before going nuts. I walked out a minute after her. I felt quite shaken as her rage was totally unjustified and way over the top. I can’t imagine how the staff felt. I just had to remind myself that her life must be pretty sad to be so very angry over literally a non issue.

I worked in retail once. After I graduated while I had part time job else where. people was so nasty and judgmental. It was easier on the receiving end. I just secretly though horrible things about them and smiled. Someone tried to insist she could pay for a coat in Debenhams with her Nectar card. I told her it wasn’t legal tender so she shouted “I have thousands in this acccunt! I know my legal rights!” So I just said “ please can you just look at the card? This isn’t Sainsbury’s. We don’t take nectar points’ no apology from her, just a massive huff and tut. Rude entitled cow.

AgentCooper · 31/12/2019 17:25

Total arsehole. I spent many years working in retail and my God, you really get the measure of someone by how they treat a person behind a till.

Sorry she made you feel rubbish, OP. It’s emphatically not you, it’s her.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 31/12/2019 17:26

My DS as just started working P/T in food retail (he's at University) .
I did warn him that there will be all kinds of arses to deal with (I work in the NHS so have dealt with my fair share of them Hmm )

He has so far had-
the ones that leave a mess on and under the table because they CBA walking to the bin
the ones who complain about the prices that are displayed and my DS doesn't control (after the order has been processed)
the ones who say "I didn't want xyz " after he's taken the order and gone through it with them, taken payment ...

He just says "It;s them" shrugs and carries on (thankfully)

But it'll make him a stronger person Grin

Justmuddlingalong · 31/12/2019 17:29

Sounds like there was more than one bag in that transaction. Sorry you got upset, most of us appreciate retail staff. Unfortunately it's the not so pleasant customers you remember. 💐

Bluerussian · 31/12/2019 17:29

The woman was rude, she was the one having a bad day and you took the brunt of it. Was she elderly? Probably sounds ageist but I am 70 today and in the past I have experienced rudeness, pushing their way to front of queues, etc, from the elderly and my intention is definitely not to ever be like that!

Move on, these things happen. Don't let it spoil your new year.

Wine
phoenixrosehere · 31/12/2019 17:31

Yanbu.

I work retail and am lucky most of the customers who come in are nice. However, there are some who come in looking miserable and being rude. I usually work the same times as the manager who THANKFULLY doesn’t believe the customer is always right and will step in if she sees a customer being rude and not afraid to send them on their merry way if they continue. I’ve had some real ridiculous ones, but they do make for some stories later.

Don’t sweat it and don’t let her ruin your day. She was the one with the problem and I doubt there was anything you could have done that she wouldn’t have been rude about.

ExtraneousDetail · 31/12/2019 17:32

YANBU. Sorry you experienced this. The woman was obviously an idiot. At least op, you’re at uni, which presumably means at some point you’ll be escaping the misery and moving on to a bright future 🙂
I work in retail (I’m 58) and although I’m lucky because I work in a quiet, rural village, I still get the occasional nutjob. Sadly, it’s become acceptable to be rude to retail/customer facing staff.
And I do believe that customers tend to be ruder to our younger staff members and treat them with less respect.

Current moan I’m tolerating is the price of plastic carrier bags which recently increased to 20p - ‘where does the money go?’, ‘I pay my taxes (?) why should I pay for a bag?’, ‘your supermarket is profiteering’ blah, blah, f*cking blah. I just tune them out like Sybil Fawlty - ‘Yes I know’, ‘Yes, I know’ ad infinitum.