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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is BU here?

53 replies

MyNameHasBeenTaken · 31/12/2019 11:41

I will try not to ramble

Person A owns a snake
Person B usually holds and plays with the snake while person A cleans out the snake cage.
All good so far. Been fine for a couple of years.
Snakey is quite large, so has limited other places to be, apart from in his cage, in the bath (supervised as he can escape in a few seconds) or held by a person.
Person A has decided they want to move in to a friends mini-flat.
They did not discuss anything about this with person B
They walked out and left snakey.
Person B has been feeding and watering snakey. And holding him.
But person B cannot supervise snakey and clean his cage at the same time. Neither can person A, which is why they usually work together.
Person A has been ignoring all requests for advice and assistance
Person B has been feeding and watering but not cleaning snakey.
Who is U?
YABU - B should find a way to clean out snakey
YANBU - A should be offering advice or assistance with snakey

OP posts:
Greysparkles · 31/12/2019 11:43

Put snakey in a dog cage/cat carrier whilst cleaning?

Burlea · 31/12/2019 11:44

Person b should report person a to rspca for abandonment of snake.

CalmdownJanet · 31/12/2019 11:46

A obviously they own the snake

jeremypaxo · 31/12/2019 11:47

Is person A the teenage child of person B by any chance?

I would think person A's new flatmate could help them with the snake, therefore person B should drop said snake off at person A's new flat.

BeanTownNancy · 31/12/2019 11:47

A is a massive knob for abandoning their pet.

SurfingGiantess · 31/12/2019 11:47

A should bring the snake and not abandon it

ScreamingValalalalahLalalalah · 31/12/2019 11:47

Sounds like it might be time to rehome the snake. I'm sceptical about whether a normal domestic environment can meet the needs of a large snake.

OceanSunFish · 31/12/2019 11:49

A has behaved appallingly.

QueenOfTheFae · 31/12/2019 11:49

How old are person A and B
What is the relationship between them (and you)

All this person A bollcoks just clouds the issue

Winkywoop · 31/12/2019 11:51

Just give the snake away if you don't want it.

Jupiters · 31/12/2019 11:54

A is being unreasonable... They have abandoned their pet!

Proudownerofplants · 31/12/2019 11:54

If there is good reason for leaving Mr Snake with B, and B is happy with this arrangement, A should definitely be cleaning out his tank or at least purchasing a smaller one that Mr S can sit in meanwhile.

If A is ignoring all calls, however, B should give A warning that they will be in touch with a rescue centre posted haste, and follow up on this, if A does not help with cleaning or make alternative arrangements for Mr S. It is his welfare that will suffer if his cage cannot be cleaned and B shouldn't have to risk an escapee.

Is this an older DC moving out and forgetting their responsibilities? Let them know that Mr Snake will also be finding alternative accommodation if they don't pull.their finger out and come up with a plan to ensure he is looked after safely.

DiseasesOfTheSheep · 31/12/2019 12:00

I'm sceptical about whether a normal domestic environment can meet the needs of a large snake

This. Person A is a disgrace, and person B should reassess the quality of their provision for the snake in the first place...

Proudownerofplants · 31/12/2019 12:02

I'm sceptical about whether a normal domestic environment can meet the needs of a large snake

No expert on reptiles but I also agree with this. It never looks very comfortable for the snake to be curled up on itself in a tank with little space to move.

Soubriquet · 31/12/2019 12:04

Urm, you can buy a plastic box with a lid, and put the snake in there whilst cleaning it out.

How do you think other snake owners clean their snakes out?!

Rollonspringtime2020 · 31/12/2019 12:05

Be the bigger person. Dsnake gives zero fucks who throws in a dead mouse.
Happy to have snake if you don't want it op!!

Soubriquet · 31/12/2019 12:07

What breed of snake is this anyway?

The only one I can think of being too large to handle is the Burmese python. Which ideally needs two people to handle it anyway.

Jaxhog · 31/12/2019 12:08

Person b should report person a to rspca for abandonment of snake.

This. Unless Person A is Person B's child. In that case, just give the snake to the RSPCA. A home is no place for a snake.

gamerchick · 31/12/2019 12:10

You'll probably be able to re-home snake quite easily OP. For cleaning you just need a plastic tub with a lid, it's not a big deal. Contact your local reptile centre or reptile hotel. An independent place who care about them and they'll help you.

We're 2 peoples when cleaning our snake out so I understand your dilemma definitely.

PotteringAlong · 31/12/2019 12:11

If I was B I would take snake to person A and leave it with them.

gamerchick · 31/12/2019 12:11

A home is no place for a snake

Don't be ridiculous!

HoneysuckIejasmine · 31/12/2019 12:12

Re-home the snake.

lemonpiezz · 31/12/2019 12:21

In light of A's refusal to help, B could put snakey in a pillow case or duvet cover (depending on size) and tie the top.

I have had many snakeys over the years, and this is the best way to contain them for short periods of time.

Lunafortheloveogod · 31/12/2019 12:21

All you need is a large plastic storage tub.. especially if one person can lift the snake. Just drill a couple of air holes into the lid/sides place snake inside, close lid, clean main tank, replace snake.

If you have a messy eater and a fancier set up, which means they need more regular cleaning you can also feed them in that tub on kitchen roll.

Has b tried to contact a to see when they’re collecting their pet. Handing over to RSPCA isn’t the best option to be honest, they’re over stretched at best and larger reptiles aren’t easy to home responsibly... too many young blokes looking for a big status pet, replacement for small man snake syndrome iyswim Grin

Frariedeamin · 31/12/2019 12:23

Person A is massively unreasonable for deserting their commitments. Person B needs to invest in a suitably sized plastic box with mesh for breathing holes (readily available) if they intend to keep the snake for any period of time so they can clean the cage properly. Or rehome the snake.