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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boss says I have to work tonight or will face disciplinary.

484 replies

Partygal · 31/12/2019 10:51

Some of my colleagues are on here so have name changed.

I work in a 24 hours a day, 365 days a year job. Everyone has to take their turn at doing the shit shifts.

As I was off over Christmas last year, I willingly took my turn to work and did Christmas and Boxing Day. It suited me as I am going to a party tonight that I have been looking forward to a lot.

My colleague who was supposed to be working tonight sent me a text earlier today saying he can’t work tonight due to illness!!! (Yeah right!) He went on to say he was just giving me the heads up to block the manager’s number.

I thanked him and said no way was I working because I’ve done my time in work over Christmas.

Anyway my boss rang up as predicted - using someone else’s phone. She first asked why everyone seemed to have blocked her number, and asked if my colleague had already told me that he wasn’t going to work that night. I denied it.

She went on to say what I already knew that he won’t be at work tonight. I told her that I would not be covering. She says no one else she has managed to speak to, can get child care at such short notice and nor can she. According to her, “it has to be me.”

I still said no. She said she would try everyone else again, and threatened me with “consequences” if I turn my phone off. She has come back and has again said she can’t find anyone else to work. She says I will face a disciplinary if I don’t go in. I told her to go fuck herself. She has been texting repeatedly every since and has just told me that I will be fired for this.

Can she do this?

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 31/12/2019 12:15

I agree the manager will have to do the shift. Are you sure your poorly colleague is really even ill?

CareOfPunts · 31/12/2019 12:15

When will people like this realise they are not fecking over their company but seriously shafting their colleagues?

They do, but they don’t give a shit, and they won’t care until they start getting effectively managed.

As for the OP I assume a care home?

nowyoulistenheretaeme · 31/12/2019 12:17

You are of course right @CareOfPunts

Our management make tutting noises but ultimately don’t care as long as the shift is covered.

flowery · 31/12/2019 12:18

”Of course, the ACAS advisor would vehemently deny he/she told OP to be mendacious.“

An ACAS advisor would do no such thing. OP has said her union rep has told her to lie.

CareOfPunts · 31/12/2019 12:20

An ACAS advisor would do no such thing. OP has said her union rep has told her to lie

If the union rep even did say such a thing. Who In their right mind would put their job on the line by doing that?

NewNameGuy · 31/12/2019 12:20

I feel for the boss who is presumably going to have to do it herself because all her staff have stopped her in it; especially the bastard pulling a sickie

Vanhi · 31/12/2019 12:21

I would (and have in the past) said something along the lines of 'sorry, can't talk, flight is about to board... byeeee'.

I usually go with 'it's triple time and a day off in lieu, right?' But then I'll give up a party and work if someone pays me enough money. And, until the OP swore, she had a very strong bargaining hand.

AnyOldPrion · 31/12/2019 12:22

This thread is sad. When did workers become so expendable?

The manager should cover.

Fine to ask the OP politely if she would help.

Sensible to offer higher wages to anyone willing to go in on their day off, especially if it’s well beyond the call of duty, as in this case. This would result in the member of staff feeling valued. Boss then also knows who is reliable and helpful in an emergency and perhaps some kind of mutual respect is built up.

Bullying the member of staff with threats and swearing is a sign of how little working people are valued. Fuck knows why people feel fucking their staff over is a sustainable and decent way to run a business.

bringincrazyback · 31/12/2019 12:22

I feel for the boss who is presumably going to have to do it herself because all her staff have stopped her in it; especially the bastard pulling a sickie

Boo fricking hoo. Sometimes these things come with the territory of being boss.

HuggedTrees · 31/12/2019 12:22

Of course she wants you to go in so she doesn’t have to. You’ve worked Christmas so it’s someone else’s turn.

MintyMabel · 31/12/2019 12:23

She can’t prove I swore at her, and I have been told to deny that I did. Of course I have evidence in that text that my boss swore at me.

Oh aren’t you lovely. And your union rep told you to lie about it? Toxic situation. She’ll be better off without you there.

AnyOldPrion · 31/12/2019 12:24

And those saying the OP should have lied... why should she have to? Utterly demeaning to do that. No should be a perfectly acceptable response when asked to do additional work during time off unless it is a contractual requirement.

PaperbackBlighter · 31/12/2019 12:25

Bit worrying your union reps first suggestion was for you to lie... Seems a bit unethical

Par for the course, unfortunately. Most union reps I’ve dealt with couldn’t lie straight in their beds.

Butchyrestingface · 31/12/2019 12:25

An ACAS advisor would do no such thing. OP has said her union rep has told her to lie

I cannot make any sense of your reply to my post, sorry. Confused

Emeraldshamrock · 31/12/2019 12:26

OP you've had lots of advice. Ask for the thread to be deleted.

BaolFan · 31/12/2019 12:26

The swearing thing is a red herring. They've sworn at each other - big deal. Posters talking about call recording need to read the OP again as the manager called from someone else's phone.

If the workplace is large enough to be unionised then it should also have an HR department. I would send her one text message back saying that you are not available to work tonight, that she needs to stop messaging you as it is harassment and that it will be reported to HR if it doesn't stop.

The pissy comment about this being the type of person to look after the elderly is utterly ridiculous. You only need to worry about OP's 'character' if you are the type of selfish, pearl clutching arsehole who thinks that carers who are on minimum wage should dedicate themselves 24/7 to being available to wipe your arse and be happy about it. OP has worked her share of the festive shifts and is entitled to have her day off.

ShirleyPhallus · 31/12/2019 12:27

What is the job?!

letmeinthroughyourwindow · 31/12/2019 12:27

I think you're getting a bit of a hard time here op. My guess is that you are a carer or something like that. You worked Christmas Day and Boxing Day so that you could make big plans for NYE and any last minute changes to the rota should be covered by management, who are paid more to take on additional responsibilities.

You were stupid to swear at her but it was a private conversation that she can't prove, and set the tone by calling you a fucking cow first.

Outrageous to inform you, by text, that you would be fired for refusing to work NYE when other staff - including her - similarly refused. I suspect, if you chose to push it, it wouldn't be you being disciplined.

DinkyDaisy · 31/12/2019 12:30

Maybe I am a bit formal but I feel communication from now on should be by pretty formal emails copying to bosses boss if there is one.
Just stating not available and reminding that covered Christmas.

Youseethethingis · 31/12/2019 12:30

Hold the bus.
This woman harassed, threatened and verbally assaulted her employee. In my book she’s bloody lucky if all she got was told to go fuck herself!
Sounds like if she wants to start her shit with OP, then OP has more than ample grounds to cause a big stink right back.
I’d still be looking for another job though. Who needs this kind of abuse and aggravation in their life?

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 31/12/2019 12:31

Sounds like a shit job with a shit boss. Surprised you care enough to post
Well that was a bit ignorant. Maybe OP has outgoings each month to cover and needs a shit shift job to cover them the risk of facing a disciplinary could jeopardise her ability to y'know feed herself.

Maybe the OP should have thought of that before telling her boss to go fuck herself! Not that the boss should have sworn at OP but to be honest they all sound like a bunch of teenagers, I really hope they aren't in a caring profession!

diddl · 31/12/2019 12:33

Well it seems that the manager is wise to the guy pulling the sickie, so I should imagine that they are pretty pissed off.

That said, if no one else is available it's up to them to cover.

Why did you lie for your lying colleague?

Junie70 · 31/12/2019 12:36

Your colleague is a disgrace.

And is the one in need of disciplinary action, not you.

But you didn't help your cause with the bad language.

Jellybeansincognito · 31/12/2019 12:36

I thought by law you have to be given 24 hours notice to come in unscheduled - and that if you refuse to go in with that amount of notice you can be disciplined.

I highly doubt you can be disciplined today. I mean, it wasn’t your shift and you have plans and can’t go in.
No amount of bullying will make you go in and your boss is behaving highly unprofessionally.
Although- you are too.

Arthritica · 31/12/2019 12:37

Keep your phone off for the rest of the day, OP!

Swearing was a bit tacky and ill-advised but I don't blame you for refusing to work.