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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a lot of parents of very young children become quite selfish

608 replies

allthewaythere · 31/12/2019 10:07

I am expecting to be flamed but here goes.

Yesterday I was walking on a really narrow street and a couple were walking with a very young baby who’s only just started to take a few hesitant steps, maybe 11 months, so he had dad on one side and mum on the other.

Because the street was so narrow it meant everyone behind them either had to walk at toddler pace or step into the road to get by.

I’ve seen this in a lot of my friends with really young children. Is this a thing and does it pass?

OP posts:
Bourbonbiccy · 31/12/2019 17:04

IT would be selfish and rude if they until move to the side to allow you past after you said "excuse me" or "can I squeeze past", but they probably think if people wanted to get past they would speak up.

As for letting toddlers walk in shopping centres, of course they have to, they have to learn. My son holds onto the pram while walking around (2years old) but had to be let out in order to learn.

Freesunglasses · 31/12/2019 17:11

You want to try running. some people will be walking five abreast and will not move I've accidentally elbowed a few or I run straight through them.
I actually find elderly people are the worst and teenagers the best.

MotherOfAllChristmases · 31/12/2019 17:12

Urrrrgh! There are a few at my kids school who bring their toddlers into drop off older siblings. They don't seem to realise that some of us are in a rush to go to work. They do that up the fucking stairs! SOOO selfish! Twats.

Whatisthis56 · 31/12/2019 17:15

@MotherOfAllChristmases i love how you think your day is more important. You work so everyone is in your way. Others have a right to go about their day how they please. Sahm might let the child have some excercise would you believe. Selfish arseholes aye!

needmoresleep1 · 31/12/2019 17:20

@Whatisthis56 you clearly never have anywhere to get to 🤣

funinthesun19 · 31/12/2019 17:27

Then that’s awful vulpine

And I know you were trying to be clever. It’s not.

So it’s awful to be annoyed at an old person going slow, but perfectly ok to be annoyed at a baby. Yeah that makes sense. Both are incapable of walking fast but as usual it’s ageist to be annoyed at an old person and perfectly fine to be annoyed at a baby.

So many people say they can’t stand kids and it’s just accepted as a normal thing to say. But if you said the same about an old person then that’s awful and horrible.

Whatisthis56 · 31/12/2019 17:41

Erm I have a life like everyone else. I just don't get pissed off at babies toddling and am nice to people young and old until they say something rude to me. I have small kids too. I get that people all have different things going on. There is usually a way to get past people. School gates are cramped and it does take a while for people to get in and out. Just because someone isn't at work doesn't mean they can't do other things on the school run like let their toddlers get some exercise on the school run. it's as much their right as yours. Maybe use the breakfast clubs or get a child minder if it's making you late!

my2bundles · 31/12/2019 17:47

The elderly often carnt avoid going slow. With babies in busy areas it can 100%be avoided, esp when she only reason someone is refusing to carry the baby and show some common courtesy is so the baby dosent get abit upset. I have all tne time in the world for the elderly, I have no patience with new parents thinking the world revolves around a baby who could easily be toddling somewhere more approprate.

DoTheNextRightThing · 31/12/2019 17:47

I don't know if the title of the thread is entirely correct, but I do hate what you're referring to. I had a dad walking with two toddlers yesterday all holding hands and I couldn't get around them. I had places to be!!

tillytrotter1 · 31/12/2019 17:49

YABU. We were all tiny once.

Yes we were but we didn't all have selfish parents, wait until the child is learning to climb steps and holds everyone up.

Whatisthis56 · 31/12/2019 17:57

@my2bundles

Maybe they wanted to walk that way. Maybe they were heading somewhere that way. Maybe they had been cooped in side for days and wanted some air to tire them out.

I'm sorry but new mums are allowed to enjoy their new babies. No time for them why? They are human beings. Being a parent to a small child is special. Clearly you are not a baby person. I'm sure the parents don't think their baby is the only thing that matters in the world. I'm sure they were just enjoying a christmas walk with their newly walking child.

As for school runs. Toddlers can't be tied to a lamppost so you can get to work. Schools are about children getting an education. It's not childcare so you can get to work. Therefore younger siblings will be around in the playground with their parents. You sound like you want them in pushchairs out the way. Then you'd grumble the pushchairs on your way.

LettuceP · 31/12/2019 18:01

Pp's keep mentioning being annoyed at a baby, I don't think anyone is annoyed with the babies toddling down busy pavements, we are annoyed with the parents who think it is a perfect opportunity for their little darling to learn (rather than an appropriate place where they aren't getting in everyone's way).

my2bundles · 31/12/2019 18:05

Ok fine. Walking a tiny baby lime that in a crowded area is just asking for them to be stepped on or accudently kicked. Sorry but that's the reality They may well have been stuck in for days if so the responsible . parent would choose somewhere quiet not a busy street. I'm very much a baby per son, I have kids myself they have been brought up to respect others and they would tell you the same that walking a baby along a busy street could actually be a dangerous place for that baby who is well below the eyeline of most adults rushing for buses appointments etc. Toddling is great for babies I'm all for it but you do have to have some common sense as to where you allow it.

Nursejackie1 · 31/12/2019 18:25

My2bundles wow can you please tell us your parenting techniques then.
Also

  1. the baby and their parents were there first
  2. is there a walking speed limit or minimal speed we all need to know about?
  3. a baby has as much right to the pavement as you or your children. Who are you to decide who gets priority based on ability or speed?
  4. what is wrong with saying excuse me? Why presume people are selfish because they haven’t sensed yours or your children’s presence and moved out of your way?
Ginger1982 · 31/12/2019 18:31

YABU. The thread title is bullshit.

my2bundles · 31/12/2019 18:33

😂 I can just imagine your next post that someone has accidently stepped on your baby in a busy street. It will be no one else's fault except your own. Like I said my kids are polite and do say excuse me which is often ignored. It has nothing to do with who was there first it's called common courtesy to everyone. Taking up a full pathto allow a baby to toddle holding up everyone else is not displaying common courtesy.

Nursejackie1 · 31/12/2019 18:35

Omg lettuce P. So you think a pavement is not a place for a baby to walk????? Seriously wtf. At what age should young children be allowed to grace the all important able bodied fast walking adult only precious pavement? Maybe we should set a national test and give out permits... and by some people’s reckoning in this post definitely retest them once they are OAP’s.

Dementedmagpie · 31/12/2019 18:38

I feel like a grumpy old woman but I'm amazed at how people let their (small) kids scoot, run, heely around either in supermarkets or on busy/narrow pavements without any instruction or regard for anyone else. I have a 9 year old DS and he seems to have no awareness of anyone else (whenever I've taken his friends out they dont either) and would happily walk straight into someone or cut someone up while walking but if I see it about to happen I ask him to move, or if needed, grab him to stop him causing an obstruction to someone else. I have nearly been run into a hedge or into the road by kids scooting along and their parents dont say anything (either to the child to try to prevent it, or an acknowledgement or apology afterwards)
I saw a parent chatting on a busy street corner once and their 3 year old went on ahead, way out of their view on a trike and they carried on chatting for quite sometime. I was panicking that the child would be knocked and injured by a car backing out of a drive or knock into another adult or child and hurt them.

Nursejackie1 · 31/12/2019 18:44

By the way I hope the baby and the family that has caused this debate are having a lovely new year in, probably enjoying a cosy night in oblivious to the miserable gits out there...

fligglepige · 31/12/2019 18:46

The pavement belongs to everybody. Even babies, even the elderly.

IAmLEA · 31/12/2019 18:52

Quick pick up that child learning to walk and move it out of your way immediately!
Unless it was a main road, what issue did it cause you to step aside? 🙄
You sound the selfish one

my2bundles · 31/12/2019 19:08

ok don't pick the baby up, just don't then get angry at the person who dosent see them in the crowd and accidently trips over them.

Rachelfromfriends1 · 31/12/2019 19:11

Why does the child need to learn how to walk on a busy narrow pavement though? Surely it’s an unsuitable spot, they should either chose a quieter time or leave teaching their child to walk until they get to a quieter area.

ViciousJackdaw · 31/12/2019 19:12

The pavement belongs to everybody

Absolutely. Which is why everybody using it needs to be considerate of others using it. That person behind you might be late for an appointment or on their lunch break. As for me, stepping down from the kerb and back up again hurts my knees (RA). Your child does not trump my knees, someone's job or someone else's GP appointment. So yes, pick it up out of consideration to others, just as I keep to the side when I've got my stick out and as a PP does when she said she has the DC walk in single file.

Londongirl86 · 31/12/2019 19:13

Omg ridiculous. Out of all the things you can grumble about its a one year old slowing you down for a couple of minutes. Hilarious.

My son's 2 and loves a walk now. He also stops to say hello to grumps like you. Actually they are not grumps like you. They usually stop and giggle at him. Just like two weeks ago. He was being a drama king in the drs waiting room. poorly and the Dr running half hour late. Old people played peekaboo with him. Middle aged people told me about their grandkids. Thankfully nobody thought I was a rude arseholes because my child wasn't being quiet and keeping still. We all know what it's like to have young children. If I had to walk down a narrow street with him id not expect to make it to Mumsnet because his legs didn't go fast enough. Yes I move my children to one side often for others. But most people tell me not to even worry. I'm also the same. If an elderly person or another mum panics and says ooo sorry and moves out the way. My response is always don't be silly I'm not in a rush. Just no need to be angry at anyone without knowing their circumstances.

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