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AIBU?

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Original poster

Anyone else's DH a lazy fucker or just mine?

52 replies

isitjustmine · 30/12/2019 20:57

About to lose it with mine Angry

Can't understand the logic behind his actions. Example, he just had a slice of toast, washed his own plate and left the rest of the pots in the sink. There wasn't much to wash, just a side plate and a couple of knives and forks. They were mine from about an hour ago. usually I wash my own dishes after eating straight away, but on this occasion I'd left them because DC was playing up at bedtime so I went up to him.

AIBU to think this is annoying, lazy & selfish!?

OP posts:
LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 30/12/2019 21:00

Petty.

Original poster
isitjustmine · 30/12/2019 21:05

@LadyTiredWinterBottom2 Me, or him?

OP posts:
Dacquoise · 30/12/2019 21:05

Yes it is annoying and selfish but not sure it's lazy. It seems a bit pointed and deliberate to only wash his own. Is he usually passive aggressive? Does he express anger directly to you when he's annoyed?

TheMustressMhor · 30/12/2019 21:07

My DH is definitely not a lazy fucker.

Original poster
isitjustmine · 30/12/2019 21:07

@Dacquoise No! This is why I'm confused. He's not doing it to prove a point, he's not annoyed at me or anything. He just can't be bothered to take another minute out of his time to just wash what's left in the sink.

He's done this on more than one occasion also

OP posts:
Original poster
isitjustmine · 30/12/2019 21:07

@TheMustressMhor You're lucky! Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
isitjustmine · 30/12/2019 21:09

Another thing. Couple months ago we'd been shopping, I put the toilet roll on the stairs ready to take up when I next went up.

He needed the toilet, knew there was no roll up there so took one out of the packet on the way and left them on the stairs, rather than just taking all of them up

OP posts:
FeckaDecka · 30/12/2019 21:10

At least yours uses a plate!!! 🤣 And for washing it up immediately I'd say well trained 🤣

Expressedways · 30/12/2019 21:10

It’s like he never graduated from student house behaviour. Have you mentioned it to him and what does he say about it?

Original poster
isitjustmine · 30/12/2019 21:11

@Expressedways Says nothing, just brushes it off and he'll do the same again in the future

OP posts:
dootball · 30/12/2019 21:12

'Lazy Fucker' seems pretty harsh when your second example is also pretty minor and from a couple of months ago. Especially considering some people don't like multiple toilet rolls in the bathroom (although that's a mystery in itself.)

Dacquoise · 30/12/2019 21:12

So he's a bit thoughtless. Have you pointed it out to him? I have discovered that some men (and probably some women) can be narrowly focused on what they do without seeing the bigger picture. Like walking upstairs and missing the pile of washing that needs taking up. If it isn't passive aggressive then it may just be a personality 'blip'. Not sure whether you can change it if the other person is unwilling.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 30/12/2019 21:13

They are very minor things and I also think 'lazy fucker' is a bit harsh.

Crazypanda85 · 30/12/2019 21:14

Least he washed his plate after he used it. To be honest I've reached the conclusion if I want it done, I just have to tell him.

Original poster
isitjustmine · 30/12/2019 21:14

They might be minor things but when most of them happen on the daily it can be quite wearing. And these are only a couple of examples of what he does.

OP posts:
LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 30/12/2019 21:15

Sorry my phone had a moment and l couldn't type, definitely definitely him!!

Men are funny types aren't they? Mine had a little dig at me over the tv tonight, even though l said he can put what he wants on. Think l will put it down to both of us needing a little break from each other now.

Dacquoise · 30/12/2019 21:19

It may be one of the multitude of differences in attitude and habits that other people have when you live with them. Doesn't make it any less annoying if it bothers you which it clearly does. His attitude isn't really helping it though. Brushing it off is quite dismissive of your feelings. I would be annoyed about that.

7Worfs · 30/12/2019 21:22

OP, if you like the things in your house “just so”, then he’s justified in leaving some things for you.

I say this as we have a similar dynamic at home - I am so particular about the household, that he leaves certain things for me.
Yes, he’s so laid back he’s practically horizontal, but my being so set in my ways is enabling him. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Dacquoise · 30/12/2019 21:33

Thinking about this @isitjustme, is there a regular pattern to this behaviour? Does he do things that annoy you, you point them out time and time again and he dismissives what you are saying and does it again? If so, then this is a bigger problem. The slow, drip, drip, drip of that type of behaviour can really eat away at you. It can also be very frustrating trying to be understood by others who only see isolated 'petty' incidents.

Crunchymum · 30/12/2019 21:39

Maybe as you are in the habit of washing your own plates he was just following suit?

Original poster
isitjustmine · 30/12/2019 21:43

@Crunchymum I'll wash his as well whilst I'm there if we've eaten together

OP posts:
KarmaStar · 30/12/2019 22:46

Op it's just a plate.🌻

BobbinThreadbare123 · 30/12/2019 22:48

No, it's not just a plate. Remember the fella whose wife divorced him over one more glass left on the side? It's usually symptomatic of some other shit too....

1Morewineplease · 30/12/2019 22:53

Why are you leaving dishes in the sink? Either one of you could just wash them up.
You need to have a discussion about dishes left in the sink.
Just deal with it... no need to go on to MN to rant about it.

PickAChew · 30/12/2019 22:55

My ex was (is) a lazy fucker. Your H sounds comparative well house trained.

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