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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holiday ruined due to my weight.

178 replies

Emmas85 · 30/12/2019 19:57

I've got a trip of a lifetime booked to New York in January, been booked for a year in order to pay for it. I am so overweight, need to lose 7 stone to be a healthy bmi (size 18/20) I've tried every diet so many times and here I am still huge and I feel like I've ruined the trip for myself already. I am really unfit so am dreading the walking already, the plane seat, the plane tray not coming down and having to pretend I'm asleep so no one notices. I don't even know why I'm posting tbh but I feel a bit better having 'said' it out loud. Aibu to think it's ruined before it's even started.

OP posts:
Tiredafterthisweek · 30/12/2019 19:59

Could you pay a bit more and upgrade your seat so that you feel a bit more comfortable? The flight is only a very small part of your exciting trip xx

livefornaps · 30/12/2019 20:00

Well! Too late to do anything now. It's either go and enjoy yourself or cancel the trip. It's not like it's been sprung on you. But you can decide how you are going to feel about it.

Bluewavescrashing · 30/12/2019 20:01

At least it's not a beach holiday. You can dress well to hide your figure.

Remember that nobody else will be as fixated on it as you.

TheBitchOfTheVicar · 30/12/2019 20:02

Well, you aren't going to lose 7 stone overnight, unfortunately. There are plenty of fabulous things to do in NYC - try not to beat yourself up, or you definitely won't enjoy yourself. I feel for you, but you can't change your weight now - can you try to change how you are feeling about the holiday a bit? Though I understand travel won't be the most comfortable Thanks

TheSquitz · 30/12/2019 20:03

When I went to NY, I promised myself I'd get slim for it but I didn't. I was about 18.5 stone and look really big in the photos. BUT I had a fabulous time. I didn't need a seatbelt extension on the plane & I was easily a size 24. Don't let your weight spoil your holiday.

SisterSistine · 30/12/2019 20:03

If you are a size 18/20 you will be fine on the plane. Just make sure you have comfy shoes for walking and take breaks when you need to. Do some regular walks between now and when you leave to build your stamina up.

Goldwispa · 30/12/2019 20:04

Don't worry about the plane. I'm same size as you and was dreading the flight this year but there was plenty of slack in the seat belt, I'd convinced myself that I'd have to get an extension! The tray came down and I could eat my meal it was almost touching my tummy but it was fine. I advise sensible shoes for walking and drink water

Sparklesocks · 30/12/2019 20:04

Oh OP ❤️ I’m sorry you’re so upset, but you can’t put your life on hold because of your body. Planes can be uncomfortable at the best of times but it’s just a means to an end - once you’re there it doesn’t matter. Can you try get an exit row seat at least so there’s no tray in front?

PragmaticWench · 30/12/2019 20:05

Forget dieting, can you walk every day between now and the holiday so you're more used to it? That plus comfy shoes and plenty of rest breaks should help.

Don't despair, you are not alone and NYC will be exciting even if you go around slowly.

Sparklesocks · 30/12/2019 20:05

Also as others have said I think 18-20 will be fine for the plane seatbelt.

Likethebattle · 30/12/2019 20:07

I’ve been a size 29 and never needed a seatbelt extender it’s had any problem with the seat tray. I think you are building this up
In your mind. Wear comfy shoes, take a break e wry so often and use the subway. I climbed to steps up to the crown of the statue of liberty and I’m very unfit,

Echobelly · 30/12/2019 20:07

18/20 is fine - my mum has been that size and never had any problem on planes, honestly.

I agree with the idea to do a little walking every day if possible to help get you ready for it.

I hope you have a fantastic time - NY is a great place, we're hopefully going for at least a few days during our next summer holiday and I'm really looking forward to it.

Likethebattle · 30/12/2019 20:08

Also get some ibuprofen if you can take it as it helps if you get achy from walking.

Awineaday · 30/12/2019 20:08

Hi. I have just returned from New York in August and am a size 22. What is stopping you. The seatbelt on the plane fitted me fine (perhaps bigger than the cheap airlines (Ryanair/Easyjet) and the tray went down so I could eat. There was a lot of walking but we also got the subway lots of places. It was exhausting but there is so much to see that you just want to keep going. Don't worry It will be amazing and you will love it. You will definitely not feel big when you are there :))

Crazypanda85 · 30/12/2019 20:08

You'll be absoloutely fine!!! I'm a size 18 and have flown long haul go America twice in the last year and had absoloutely no problems!! Try and get an aisle seat though just so you can stretch out a bit and stand up as I'm fairly tall so that's what usually gets to me!

If it helps New York is full of all sorts of people, when you are there you'll be one of many, many people. Enjoy it please!!!!!

BorissGiantJohnson · 30/12/2019 20:09

How far into January? You could lose a stone or so on the fast 800? A size 18-20 might be huge to you, but I think when you're actually in the US you'll see it in a different context as the average size is bigger over there. I'm sure you can have a lovely time, your size really shouldn't ruin your holiday.

Original poster
Emmas85 · 30/12/2019 20:09

Thank you so much everyone you are really helping to ease my worries. You're right it's too late to do anything about my weight before I go but I can go for walks from now until then.

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 30/12/2019 20:09

You will love New York, what a fantastic city. Please don’t let this ruin your trip, echo the poster who suggested you upgrade to premium economy for a bit more comfort.

Bringonspring · 30/12/2019 20:09

Honestly it is the US you will be Toby in comparison to most. I promise you no one will care an inch apart from you. I wouldn’t look twice at an individual regardless of weight.

Start your health kick now though, drinking lots of water, eating fruit and veg can mentally make you feel a lot better even if you won’t yet see the physical benefits yet

Bringonspring · 30/12/2019 20:09

Tiny not Toby!

Expressedways · 30/12/2019 20:10

New York is great, you’ll have a wonderful time! You don’t need to walk loads- there’s a decent chance it’ll be freezing anyway so no guilt if you take the Subway or an Uber. Can you book extra leg room or upgrade to premium economy to be comfier on the plane? If you don’t do it advance then it’s worth asking at the airport as it can be fairly affordable if there are spare seats. But regardless no one will be looking at you- everyone is squashed in, the lights will probably be dimmed for a significant amount of time, most people only move to go to the loo and most importantly, no one cares!

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 30/12/2019 20:10

You will be fine. Flowers it's the most amazing place, look forward to all the fantastic things you will see and do.

sophiasnail · 30/12/2019 20:11

I'm a size 22 and regularly fly to South Africa with no problems! (No seat belt extender/ problems with tray/ problems with width of seat).

haverhill · 30/12/2019 20:11

Crikey, isn’t size 16 the national average size? You can’t be as large as you think at 18/20..?
A YouTuber I watch who’s a larger woman recommends asking straight away and confidently for a belt extension ( if needed). Don’t sit cringing, just do it.

YappityYapYap · 30/12/2019 20:13

OP, you're going to America! You won't be the most overweight person there. Infact, you'll probably blend in and be unnoticeable because America has such an obesity problem. I know that sounds awful but it's true. You will probably find when you are there that you are not THAT big. Also, Manhattan is actually very small. It's only 13 miles long and 2.5 miles wide. You will probably find that there's not lots and lots of walking as the main attractions are very close to each other and there's hundreds of taxis going about to take you further afield like if you want to go to Brooklyn or Queens

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