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AIBU?

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Original poster

Cyprus is no longer a safe place for (young, single) women to holiday?

725 replies

Kraai · 30/12/2019 11:57

The teen went back to her ONS's room for consensual sex. When there, 11 of his mates burst in and filmed while three of them then raped her. She went to the police and reported it. They were detained. They said it was consensual and was "with love" (I kid you not!). She was interviewed at length with no legal representation and the police decided she was lying. She was then charged with the crime of making up a crime and has been unable to come home since the summer. The guys were all allowed to return to Israel where some of them have since said things indicating she wasn't lying at all and I'm pretty sure the video was shared (from memory, which may be wrong). She's had psychological evaluation saying she's suffering badly from PTSD.

It's worth noting that the Cyprus is a very popular destination for young Israelis to let off steam before they start national service and there's a strong political tie between the two.

So, AIBU to say that Cyprus is no longer a safe destination for young woman? If the worst happens to you and you report it and the police think you're not a credible witness, YOU will end up in jail. Knowing how traumatic reporting something like a stolen wallet in a foreign police station can be, the idea that a woman would be interviewed without legal representation in a state of severe distress, however that manifests, and then not believed and charged means that men have been given free rein to rape in Cyprus. Especially if it's in a potential "grey zone".

https://www.bbc.com/news/videoandd_audio/headlines/50944483/cyprus-rape-claim-case-it-s-a-very-worrying-conviction

OP posts:
SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 30/12/2019 16:11

YANBU. I believe her.

Fraggling · 30/12/2019 16:11

Oh wow.

You're a piece of work.

No sympathy at all for a woman who was gang raped at 13.

Presumably you think she's a liar hinted at with ' no you haven't' and do you really need to put bad in brackets.

Unbelievable.

Sparklesocks · 30/12/2019 16:11

FairytaleofButlins as you keep saying, none of us are there - so how do you know she isn’t telling the truth? It works both ways.

FairytaleofButlins · 30/12/2019 16:12

Fraggling
My point is not even about rape, it applies to anything. Child disappearance being one of them too.

The racism and anti-semitism on this thread is shocking though.

It doesn't make me feel better at all that people's life can be destroy because of an accusation that was later proven completely false. With a few "there's no smoke without fire" comments who never accept that it was nonsense in the first place.

Fraggling · 30/12/2019 16:12

Because fairy thinks that women and girls are sluts who routinely lie about rape.

That's why.

Fraggling · 30/12/2019 16:13

Fairy where is the empathy or sympathy for a victim of gang rape aged 13.

You listened to her story and essentially said shut up.

It's grotesque.

GrumpyHoonMain · 30/12/2019 16:13

This reply has been deleted

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helpneedshoes · 30/12/2019 16:14

She may be lying, she may be telling the truth but certainly some of the police conduct is questionable.

What frustrates me about these rapes/assault cases is that it's always the women's conduct that is questioned, maybe she wanted to have sex with 7 men? she shouldn't have invited them back if she wasn't interested? she shouldn't have got drunk & be lying on the street with her knickers on show? Why is the conversation never why did that man want to have sex after 5 others? Why did that man want to have sex with the drunk girl on the street? Why did that man not ask for consent?

kirinm · 30/12/2019 16:15

@FairytaleofButlins so you're now claiming the original allegation was "nonsense"? on what basis are you making that assertion given that you weren't there and you don't have all of the facts?

FairytaleofButlins · 30/12/2019 16:16

Sparklesocks
FairytaleofButlins as you keep saying, none of us are there - so how do you know she isn’t telling the truth? It works both ways.

Where did you see that I did?
I said that I know nothing about the case so absolutely cannot make judgement either way!

Just read the threads about the driver involved with the death of the Chinese migrants recently. Posters KNEW he was guilty, then knew he wasn't, then knew the truth.. back and forth because they knew nothing whatsoever more than the DM was writing at the time.

Emeraldshamrock · 30/12/2019 16:16

I believe her without any shadow of doubt.

Clymene · 30/12/2019 16:16

I believe her.

FairytaleofButlins · 30/12/2019 16:16

kirinm
so you're now claiming the original allegation was "nonsense"?

Oh, am I? Please quote where I stated that will you.

BringMeTea · 30/12/2019 16:17

I think you mean Vietnamese.

Sparklesocks · 30/12/2019 16:18

@FairytaleofButlins well your allusions to false accusations and outrage at posters who believe the victim is innocent imply you have made a decision about her guilt even if that isn’t your intention.

FairytaleofButlins · 30/12/2019 16:20

BringMeTea
I did, not sure why I wrote chinese, it was quite rude of me, apologies.

kirinm · 30/12/2019 16:20

@FairytaleofButlins well this comment along with your general refusal to acknowledge anything being said about the actual case and your complete lack of empathy has given me the impression that you don't believe her.

"It doesn't make me feel better at all that people's life can be destroy because of an accusation that was later proven completely false".

Findumdum1 · 30/12/2019 16:21

I believe her. Going to a room with one man you have just met for sex (although I think I have read they had been seeing ech other for some time?) is NOT giving your consent to his mates coming in to watch and film, never mind take part, allegedly. If the original man was any kind of man he would have stopped it and kicked them all out.

PanicAndRun · 30/12/2019 16:21

You listened to her story and essentially said shut up. I'm used to that Grin

However I don't shut up. I've said my story with more or less details under various namechanges over the years.

Not because it's about me or I'm big on merailing, but because there's always such a huge dissonance and mental gymnastics to try and prove that this doesn't happen,or if it happens it wasn't that bad, or if it was bad it was somehow the victim's fault and so on.

Innocent until proven guilty works for the law, given the statistics most of us know someone (if not personally experienced) that was sexually assaulted or raped. The majority of the attackers do not have a guilty verdict attached to them if it even went to court. To quote another poster "I wouldn't touch them with a bargepole" and I don't give a shit if they're innocent in the eyes of the law.

Men and boys can and do do this. They don't have to be animals or monsters. It goes across ages,religions or races. It is a fact. I accepted it a long time ago, hopefully some posters on this thread will come to that conclusion themselves (or not) rather than being forced into it.

FairytaleofButlins · 30/12/2019 16:22

kirinm
that comment was a direct reply to " it makes you feel better" comment above

context is everything.

Sagradafamiliar · 30/12/2019 16:23

I hear you, Panic Thanks

mothertruck3r · 30/12/2019 16:24

How ridiculous! That's like saying Rotherham is not safe for young single women ffs! Cyprus is absolutely fine.

crispysausagerolls · 30/12/2019 16:29

panic

Your post made my blood run cold - I am so sorry. It describes in such huge detail how these abhorrent, unforgivable acts occur. The pack mentality, the cognitive dissonance, the egging each other on and the bystanders who refuse to intervene. Makes me sick to my stomach and you are very brave for sharing your story.

RainySnowyDay · 30/12/2019 16:31

This case is shocking.

Undoubtedly it could happen anywhere, but I do think there is an attitude amongst men there that women are second class citizens, and I wonder is these Israeli men picked up on that. I’ve travelled extensively, but Cyprus was one place I would definitely not return to. It felt oppressive and unsafe in many areas.

WaitrosesCheapestVodka · 30/12/2019 16:34

It doesn't make me feel better at all that people's life can be destroy because of an accusation that was later proven completely false. With a few "there's no smoke without fire" comments who never accept that it was nonsense in the first place.

Sure, malicious allegations happen. But police should not be able to decide arbitrarily that a person is 'lying' about an allegation, especially when there is forensic evidence from injuries. The burden of proof should work both ways, there was no objective evidence whatsoever that she had lied. To prosecute her is disgusting.

Attacks can (and do) happen anywhere. But the police response here is appalling. I love Cyprus, but this does make it sound unsafe to me.