Wheelchair / buggy on bus

[MoonlightMistletoe]

Today I had got the bus with my sister we both have children I had my toddler who was walking and my one year old who's only just started to walk who is still in a buggy, my sister has a 12week old baby who was also in a buggy.

We had got on the bus as you do and the next stop another parent got on with their buggy, a few stops later we stop and straight away a woman is screaming/shouting at the rear doors with her phone in our faces demanding we collapse our buggies, very angry , shouting at us with buggies and also at the driver. The driver is telling us to stay put due to her being aggressive and recording us. Someone on the bus was telling us to co operate with the woman who wanted to get a person on the bus who was in a wheelchair. We know disabled people are a priority and had absolutely not said we wouldn't put the buggies down, I was taking my sleeping one year out the buggy while this woman was still swearing and being nasty and recording us, I had given my baby to my sister to sit with my toddler and herself while I was about to take her baby out the pram then all of a sudden everyone made a "ohhhhhhh" gasp and the disabled man has fallen down the side of the curb and bus sideways in his wheelchair.

She then looses her absolute shit at us for her own mistakes being so caught up in recording us to make sure we move that the man is now probably injured.

AIBU to think all she had to do was say excuse me can we move the buggies so I can get the wheelchair on?

gingersausage

I’ve been for a run and calmed down. Please help me. What is it that I have said that has upset you? As far as I can see, I have been subjected to a number of really insulting and offensive posters’ bike. What have I said to offend you?

*bile

Yeah I've seen that too My2. For some people the idea of folding the buggy doesn't even enter their minds! I don't like the idea of handing my baby to a stranger so I've always asked if someone or the driver can help me fold down the buggy instead.

So what if one takes their small baby or young child out and there is an accident or the mother trips etc, as it has been known that once those who need to get on are on, that a lot of buses, and particularly in London, I don't know where you live, but they drive like maniacs. Imagine if you was on your own and you have a buggy that can't just fold down, you have to take the seat off and find space for that, then fold the frame too, and carry it to put it somewhere, all whilst what? The driver waits nicely, I doubt it, and then if it has got busy people start huffing and you are still trying to focus on carrying this poor little mite who has had to be picked up out of their pram. I am not saying that a disabled person shouldn't have some priority, but they are in a wheelchair, not stood waiting for pram to be folded or for those with prams to get off the bus. In this case it is awful that the person who was supposed to be there to help the disabled chap, did not do her job properly and let him down. They have obviously had issues on other buses, and were prepared for further issues. It's as though as soon as the bus pulled up, you was supposed to fly out of the windows, to let them on, it is a difficult one as the person our of all of this who really didn't deserve that is the disabled one. If she was that abusive I would have asked for the police to be called, or if the driver did not want to do it, you tell him you will. It seems to differ as some drivers talk to you like rubbish as they approach a stop with a disabled person waiting, before you've even moved or said anything, and others are different. I got to one stop once and there was a wheelchair user waiting, the driver simply asked if my pram folds in one, I said no, and he shouted out through the doors to the person waiting 'sorry you'll have to get the next one' and closed the doors and drove off! I was shocked!

Bianca most people are happy to help either holding a baby or folding down. One of my kids needed to use a oversized disabled buggy for a while so keeping the spaces free for people who actually do need them is really important to me.

My2 oh don't get me wrong, I completely agree. Wheelchair spaces are for wheelchair users. It's all well and good people using the spaces if they are not in use, on the understanding that they have to move if a wheelchair user wishes to board the bus. Ultimately, if they can't do that then it'll have to change to people can't use the wheelchair space at all, even if not in use.

@Redruby25 if you are travelling regularly on a bus then I'd suggest either a sling or a foldable buggy. That way you won't deny a wheelchair user space on the bus and you can all travel.

You have choices. The wheelchair user does not.

One of my problems with slings was my anxiety. I had a fall while pregnant and landed on my bump. I ended up going into spontaneous labour a month later (6 weeks early). I was terrified of using a sling because I was convinced I would fall and kill my baby. I was absolutely convinced. As he was prem we used to have to go back and forth to the hospital for checks for a number of weeks after. No way could I have used a sling on a bus. I think I would have had a massive panic attack like I did the first time I had to use stairs while carrying DS. Funnily enough, the HVs and doctors kept telling me to more or less "get over it".
I would have rather gotten off a bus and walked for hours (for some reason the pushchair felt safe) than use a sling.

I agree. I have a child with a severe disability which I won't go into detail about and NT children. I know it's difficult travelling with NT children but it's still easy to fold buggy and wrangle kids and bags And ask for help if needed. At one point for my eldest going anywhere was imposdible unless we got that disabled space on the bus, I mean housebound impossible that's how important the wheelchair spaces are to many people. This is why Churchs attiude to refusing to ask for help and making excuses about slings has angered me so much, she really has no idea.

Oh but to clarify, I still would have gotten off the bus to let a wheelchair user on. The whole sling anxiety was completely my problem

This thread is out of control. Of course wheelchair users should have priority, absolutely. The world is already built around the able bodied, let's be honest; one of the few spaces just for wheelchairs needs to be protected at all costs (and more provisions made in other areas, but that's another debate entirely). But it's also easy to see how people with prams find it challenging as a lot of buses don't accommodate folded prams, or have the space for both wheelchairs and prams, and saying they only go shopping is rude when that's not the case at all. It's also not reasonable to expect a mum to hand their baby over to a stranger whilst they deal with it, the bus with the baby seat looks excellent, and surely works well for both parties.

Unlike your genuine reason not to use a sling x

This is why Churchs attiude to refusing to ask for help and making excuses about slings has angered me so much, she really has no idea.

I am not making excuses. I am saying some people CAN’T use slings. And it is completely unreasonable to expect anybody to expose their young babies to illness or danger from people they don’t know from Adam.

So you have angered me, because you have misinterpreted me wilfully, and your attitude to new mums and their babies is ridiculous.

My attitude to baby's and new mums is to help them on buses, always has been how on earth is that ridiculous? My attitude to disabilitys is to protect the services put in place for their use, so they can function in society at an equal level. Take away the wheelchair spot and many many people are left housebound. How is that equal access for all?

Biancadelrioisback

The thing is, your reason has now been judged “genuine” so you’re “allowed” to say you can’t use a sling. And actually, there are many, many women just like you, who aren’t “snowflakes” or “making excuses” - they have a need, plain and simple.

And my2bundles has been contemptuous about that throughout.

my2bundles

You have some sort of blind spot when it comes to reading what I have actually said, versus what you are assuming (hoping?) I said to justify your rudeness. Where did I suggest taking away a wheelchair space?

But church the current options available to a parent if a wheelchair user wishes to board are:

1. Avoid the issue altogether by using a sling

1. Fold down the pushchair and hold their child unaided

1. Ask for help folding down the pushchair or for someone to hold their child while they fold down the pushchair

1. Leave the bus and either walk or wait for the next one

1. Refuse to vacate the wheelchair space

Obviously option 5 is terrible which leaves options 1 to 4.

Personally I use options 2, 3, and 4 depending on the situation and circumstances. Strangers on a bus are not of any particular danger to small children considering that the child's parent is right there, the stranger will only be holding them for 1-2 minutes at most, and the parent is standing between the stranger and the exit.

If someone didn't want to use a sling, wasn't comfortable asking strangers (or the driver, a stranger who is paid to help you) and couldn't fold down the pushchair on their own while holding their child then there only options are to leave the bus or refuse to vacate.

Five options.

The person in the wheelchair has only one option and that is to use the priority space.

As a parent of a child with disabilitys I'm very used to battling my corner in every situation to fight for my child's rights and needs. You backtracking dosent work with parents in my position.

HoHoHoik

You’re just not listening. Options 1-4 are NOT always options for everyone.

my2bundles

Backtracking over what?

Refusal to vacate should result in the bus driver not continuing until the space is vacated for the wheelchair user. Refusal shouldn't even be an option.

Imagine if you was on your own and you have a buggy that can't just fold down, you have to take the seat off and find space for that, then fold the frame too

This is part of the problem

If you know you have to use the bus then you don’t buy a pram like that and then expect just to never have to fold it

You take the bus situation into account when buying the pram

That’s what’s had to change for a lot of people around here over the last year. The bus company being so strict has meant people have actually had to think about their choices

@churchandstate
Leave it. The conversation has moved on and you're now looking desperate and trying to point score.

All of them options are available you just need to get on and do it.

Church I'm sorry but you are wrong. Those are your options.