So my brother wants to kill himself. What the fuck do I do? [title edited by MNHQ]

[HowDoIhelp321]

I've got 2 brothers.
Years and years ago my mum said to me she was worried that one day my older brother would kill himself. I was shocked, he was married with kids and seemed happy and had an excellent career.

Now the last few years we meet with family at Christmas or weddings and he sits away from people, sometimes drinks too much (sometimes doesn't) wears the same coat (huge thing) and won't take it off despite it being very hot indoors.

Doesn't talk much and seems very very down. Today he said every time he leaves work and doesn't see day light he wants to kill [method removed by MNHQ] himself.

He said he must suffer from SAD (I agree but believe it's more than that) and asked his work to fund a Sad box which is £200 but they refused.

So I'm freaking out that my brother has reached rock bottom and going to kill himself.

He NEVER talks about feelings so I'm fucking worried.

But these sad boxes are like £20-50 so what one is he on about because I need to get him this £200 he's talking about.

Help

@leapinglucy as far as I understand it's not the actual method itself but description of details that studies have shown inadvertently encourage others to do the same. Any discussion that is not constantly monitored can quickly go from method to comparison of details and it's far easier to prevent this happening by banning any discussion of method.

Others bereaved in the same way can also be seriously triggered but they live in a world heavily populated by known and unknown triggers so it's less important.

I wasn’t aware of the site policy before this thread and personally I’m neutral on it but respect it. Whether you agree with it or not OP best to cooperate and focus on the helpful support and advice others are giving on here and stop referencing the method your brother is talking about. Nobody thinks you’re trying to ask for advice on how to commit suicide, you have missed the point of MN’s post to you.

This is a tragic subject that impacts so many people. I had a relative who used the method your brother is referring to and I sympathise with what you’re going through and the fear it instils in you and your family. All the best, hope he can get the support needed and also you and your family too.

'Fuck' 🙄

Hi OP,
We're sorry we can't allow these descriptions on the site. As we've said it's in our guidelines which we've devised with mental health experts. There's been some really helpful advice on here so far, and we hope the thread can get back on track with supporting you through this.

I think you need to speak to your SIL. She must realise that something isn’t right here - maybe she is pretending it isn’t. Tell her your concerns and press her to try to get help for him. The doctor is a good first step.

You aren’t there so all you are able to do it stress yourself out and fear the worst.

Keep lines of communication open with him - he might just want to stay in his shell but be firm and gentle with him. Don’t tell him what to do but maybe subtlety drop hints ie ‘my friend from work has been off for two weeks with depression - much better but they are doing x,y,z...’