AIBU not to let DD13 burn candles in her room

[Servalan]

Just had a major strop from DD because I have told her I do not want her burning candles in her room.

She asked earlier if she could burn some candles on the kitchen table earlier and I agreed even though I wasn't in the room (but was coming in and out now and again to keep an eye). My feeling is the kitchen table is an uncluttered space and it's an area of the house I regularly go in.

She then went to her room, cleared a space in the middle of the floor and suggested burning some candles on a tray in the uncluttered area. I told her no (I have previously told her she can't burn candles in her bedroom). She launched into a big argument about how I'd let her light them in the kitchen. It ended up turning into a heated argument (no pun intended).

Am I being neurotic to think that 13 is too young to have open flames in a bedroom?

Elderly neighbours house was gutted on the two upper floors three years ago because of a candle left unattended on a chest of drawers. Fire investigators said it was a curtain moving in a breeze that started the blaze.
No candles would not be in a child’s bedroom in my house.

No candles in bedrooms ever! Not even mine! Only in the living room and kitchen! If I go to the loo and leave a candle unattended, it gets blown out, because I have a cat.

Its not about being too young, its about candles being dangerous. Student residence halls and many other places don't allow candles for exactly that reason, not because of age.

YANBU. When I was 19 I fell asleep with a pillar candle burning and woke up to see my whole dressing table ablaze. I put it out with a can of coke I had not finished in the room.

I walked through the house, all bleary eyed and still half asleep and apparently muttered something to my mother. She said 'WHAT WAS ALL ABLAZE?!' We went in to my room and turned on the light and the whole room was filled with black smoke, seconds later the smoke alarm went off.

I'm sort of laughing about how ridiculous I was now but it could have been a really serious incident.

www.london-fire.gov.uk/safety/the-home/candles/

YANBU and I would go further and just say no candles in a closed room.

But then my house, bar the metal roof and concrete stumps, is made of wood. I love candles but have never burned them since moving to Australia, and all tea lights were quickly disposed of once we saw the bushfire risk.

Thanks everyone for your advice and thoughts.

I hadn't heard of electric wax melt burners before, but I've ordered one and some wax melts for DD to try - hopefully that will work as a compromise!