AIBU?
Can you can pregnant with first baby around 40+?
TheP0 · 29/12/2019 05:33
So a cousin is ttc her first child and is 40.. She will be 41. She's worried (and so am i for her) about missing the chance and boat to have a baby. Is it really possible at that age or not? She said that doctors say at 40 you're eggs are almost gone and there's hardly any left.
All it states on the internet is that a woman isn't very much fertile once she hits 35 so it's becoming worrisome.
Sorry English isn't first language but i tried!
Thank you!
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
poppycity · 29/12/2019 05:55
I have three friends and a cousin who all had their 1st baby at 40+! And a friend who had her 5th and 6th at 46 and 47 respectively. An 18 year age gap from their youngest at the time (kids were 18, 18, 21 and 23)! Apparently hormones can surge in menopause! And surge twice! :D
Helbelle17 · 29/12/2019 07:22
We conceived our first after 2 months ttc. I was 41 when she was born. Number 2 took a little while longer - 11 months- I'll be 44 when she's born. Everyone's different though. I did go for a scan to check ovarian health, and I went to the gp when trying for our second and had blood tests to check that I was ovulating.
We have had 2 miscarriages along the way, which was devastating. This might be related to age, but no way to be sure. I have friends who have had babies in their 40s with no issues at all.
I hope it all works out for her.
Ponoka7 · 29/12/2019 07:33
MN seems to have every woman on here, or their relatives, who have conceived and had a live birth, over 40.
Statistically the odds are against you and for most, it won't happen.
I had a late miscarriage at 40. When tests were done, I was told it would be very doubtful that I'd have a live birth. I'd previously been very fertile.
You have a 5% chance over 40, of getting pregnant, without any help. Many of us aren't told by the women we know over 40, what help they had. Coupled with a, higher miscarriage and still birth rate, many women struggle with infertility over 40.
It isn't a case of IVF or nothing, though.
OP, I'd advise your friend to have a chat with her Doctor. She should get herself as healthy as possible, eat as little processed food as she can, take supplements and exercise. It does help to get your body running as well as it can. Then if the doctor can help, she will respond better to any side effects.
TheAlmightyFinch · 29/12/2019 07:44
Sadly it’s one of those cases where anecdotes won’t help. She may not struggle; she may struggle and have a baby in the end; she may not have a baby at all. It will depend entirely on her body and her partner’s body.
Tell her to get a fertility check and be there for her if she needs you at any point; you can do no more 🤞
Flev · 29/12/2019 07:51
I met my husband at 37, so we knew that we might not be able to have children. Got married at 39 and started trying shortly afterwards. It took us 5 months to conceive - the only "medical help" we had was that I used ovulation predictor sticks to maximise our chances.
Our little girl is currently 14 months old and playing happily in the lounge with me.
It us by no means impossible - but I'd suggest they need to be aware that it might not happen for them, and have a plan for how long they will try and then what. We said we'd give it a year and then look into adoption as we knew we definitely wanted a child.
Taddda · 29/12/2019 07:57
My Dd's were conceived at 38 & 39 (dd2 when dd1 was 6months), 15 months between them. As pp said if your ovulating, your ovulating, that's it really.
The more I hear about 'stats' the more I disbelieve the accuracy of them...(sorry to the statisticians...)
Kind of like watching 'pointless'...'how did only 24 out of a 100 people know that....'! Who are they asking.....
?
BalloonSlayer · 29/12/2019 08:24
I know a couple of people (that I could name, but won't of course!) who had their first over 40. One was 45 and went on to have a second at 47 (although I don't know if IVF was involved).
I know loads of people who had second/third babies after the age of 40.
I had a surprise pregnancy and had my third at 43. My maternal grandmothers both had babies aged 48. When I was 48 I was still having regular periods with no sign of the peri-menopause, so I reckon I could have got pregnant at 48 too. I still am only just getting menopausal at 55. However, a school friend had the menopause at 37, luckily she had completed her family.
So to be honest it's pointless asking on here - it's certainly possible to get pregnant with your first baby at 40, whether it's possible for your cousin is a different matter: see above, it would have been possible for me, but impossible for my friend.
Divebar · 29/12/2019 08:53
I had my DD now 7 when I was 41... no difficulties and no IVF. During my maternity care I was referred to the Consultant and when he asked me why I had been sent to him I said “ because of my age” He looked at my date of birth on my notes and made this dismissive hand gesture and said “ that’s nothing nowadays”. I took from that that he was seeing lots of mothers my age and older. So, although you cannot possibly know until you try you at least know that it’s within the realms of possibilities.
MaryShelley1818 · 29/12/2019 08:53
I had my first at 39 after 4mths of trying.
I know lots and lots of people who've conceived after 40 and had healthy babies. (Baby groups).
I've been ttc number 2 for nearly a year and seeing a fertility specialist who is in no way concerned about my age - 41. There are other more important factors such as regular ovulation, ovarian reserve, egg quality etc
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.