To feel so sad about the way my life has turned out

[LettyConfetti]

I'm so sad. Im 39 and I've done nothing with my life. I look back at people I know from school and most of them have such good jobs. Theyve thrived through life and I've been left behind like a failure.

I have a low paid job, nmw. I still live in my shitty town in a run down part. My house is too small for my family and is so dated and grubby. I can't afford to update it. My car is too small and a banger. I have had mental health issues since childhood that I didn't realise I had. It's held me back so much. I am a failure. Im so sad that im not a good role model for my kids. Im not good at anything. I'm not even a good mother.

I know I sound terribly depressed in this post but it's honestly how I feel.

I know some of you will come on here to say comparison is the thief of joy but honestly it's reality. We're all born in this world on an equal footing but the truth is we're not.

Oh OP 💐 you do sound very depressed. Get yourself to the GP ASAP and see how they can help you.

I also wanted to say you are absolutely NOT a failure. I'd say you're pretty damn amazing actually. Stop beating yourself up. You have a job- that is a good thing. And you know what- you can change your job if you want to. I know it's not just so straightforward but it's not set in stone that you are in this job forever.

You have a house- might be a bit too small but you've got one and you will be able to improve it at some point if you want to. Once you've had a bit of help for your depression then maybe giving it a massive spring clean might make you feel a bit better and that won't cost a lot. I always feel much better if I'm in a clean and tidy house, it would probably help.

Your car might be an old banger but you can drive and you have one. I'm learning atm and am desperately hoping to be able to pass the test. It's great you can already drive and can get from A to B- not everyone can do this.

And your kids love you to bits- stop beating yourself up for the things you think you aren't doing well enough at. Just take each day as it comes, do what you can to improve little things and keep fighting. Be proud of what you achieved because you have achieved plenty. Keep fighting and don't give up.

It was really nice going to the movies. Then we all went to see my family. I think getting out the house everyday for a few hours really helps. And even though the last thing I want to do is socialize, it helps just being with people.

nestisflown thank you for that video. I thought it was going to be one of those this will change your life etc but it's actually a really technique! I used it to do the laundry and give my room a quick surface tidy. I also used it a couple of times when I caught those dark feelings cropping up when I was at the cinema. It did work a few times. Thank you so much.

How are you feeling ok? Pls get help. Go to your GP. You don't know how bad it is till you start getting better. Feeling exhausted, motiveless, impatient is not the "normal" . You and your family deserve so much more.

This is a terrible time of the year, all enforced jollity and advertising pressures.My house has really got on top of me recently and I'm trying to tackle it a room at a time. Most recycling/skip sites will provide free paint and that might help.
Take baby steps, try and get out of the house as much as possible and speak to your gp.

we are sold a huge lie in this push for everyone to be individual and make great achievements in life. Most of us are completely ordinary and getting by. Your children are doing great, youre doing pretty ok. Youve got a house a car, and food on the table.
We need to find more satisfaction in the small things in life

I suspect that when the time comes....

How much you earnt.
How far away from the town you grew up in, you lived.
How many bedrooms your house had
And what cars you drove.

Together with all other superficial crap that has been hammered into generations of children by people who believe this can be the only way of determining the value of someone's life.

....Won't mean a thing.