Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think niece should remember what we gave her for Christmas

110 replies

SidSparrow · 28/12/2019 16:02

So we got niece a nice bracelet for her Christmas - she's 7. Was first time meeting her as she lives abroad. We got her that and some other small books and things. Anyway, I asked her if she liked the bracelet we gave her and she didn't even remember it. Now, she didn't get a lot for Christmas since they're doing Christmas when they go home. I did put a bit of thought into it - was a charm bracelet with charms suited to her interests, so I thought she would have at least remembered it, Christmas day was only 4 days ago! Anyway, we've just been out and about and she wanted a keyring, so I bought her it and when we got back she left it in the car.

Now, AIBU to think that perhaps she's just a bit ungrateful? I'm not too fussed, if she is, then it'll make future birthdays and Christmases much easier (card and money). It's like she tore open her presents and never looked back at them. I'd like to think DD won't be like that when she gets to that age, but maybe there is nothing wrong with this...? I'm genuinely confused.

OP posts:
needanewnamechange · 28/12/2019 16:12

I think jewellery for children is not a good idea in my experience. 7 year olds don't care about looking after things . It will be oh that's nice off auntie but then put down for the next gift . As for the key ring don't keep buying her stuff especially after Christmas it will just make her spoilt thinking she can ask for stuff that in 5 minutes won't care about .

Cryingoverspilttea · 28/12/2019 16:12

She's 7...

fairynick · 28/12/2019 16:13

She’s 7, how are you offended? Your fault for buying her a boring present.

TuppenceDarling · 28/12/2019 16:14

Ummm she’s 7!

RhiWrites · 28/12/2019 16:15

I’d have remembered who gave me what at 7. Especially a close relation.

FredFlinstoneMadeOfBones · 28/12/2019 16:19

She's only 7! I don't agree to buy tat for mine when they go out as they invariably get left in the car and forgotten in 2 minutes. It's like party bags. My friend once opted out of doing them and had hoards of kids asking where they were (while being shuffled out by their parents) yet they always get left in the car.

My seven year old does tend to remember his presents but he's the slow ponderous type, some of his friends, who are very nice kids, are more the rip it open and forget it types. It's just their age.

Claphands · 28/12/2019 16:20

7 isn’t too young to remember a gift IMO! Is she a bit spoilt?

Bluebutterfly90 · 28/12/2019 16:21

She's only 7, and kids can get a bit overwhelmed at Xmas.
I think you need to let it go.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 28/12/2019 16:23

I wonder if she's a bit spoilt. If you asked my DD about a specific present, she would remember it. Asking a generic did you like the present l got you would be different.

alexdgr8 · 28/12/2019 16:23

is this for real.
I often feel quite old-fashioned reading things on here, but in this case I cant be sure that you are serious.
what did you expect. why would she remember it, or your giving it,
or be grateful and treasure a key-ring. you need to lighten up. how old is your daughter. try to be more realistic. and don't give gifts in order to buy gratitude. give them because you want to give pleasure. not polish your ego for being ever-so thoughtful, generous etc; all that self-serving garbage is lost on children, who are starkly honest and have not yet learnt to cover up their true feelings with the false veneer that adults call politeness.
sorry not meant to have a go at you.. but this time of year, generally, so much nonsense about gifts, gratitude...blah, blah.
let us all try to be less materialistic, more real and humane.

orangejuicer · 28/12/2019 16:24

YABU - she's 7!

steff13 · 28/12/2019 16:24

So in addition to it being Christmas, which is a bit overwhelming, she's meeting new people and potentially in a new country? I'd cut her some slack here.

Original poster
SidSparrow · 28/12/2019 16:25

Ha! fairynick who said I was offended? I have no experience with children so I don't know if this is normal or not. If it is I reckon I won't make as much of an effort in future. The reason I opted for jewellry @needanewnamechange is because they have to travel back, so has to be light. Wasn't expensive, just tailormade to suit what she's into. I didn't buy her the keyring, her mum gave me money in case she wanted anything when we were out but she doesn't know that.

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 28/12/2019 16:25

In future I would ask her parents for gift ideas and give the gift to her when you actually see her rather than on her birthday or Christmas. Then you will see her immediate reaction.

Seven year olds won’t remember who gave what and sadly, unless it’s a much wanted gift, they probably won’t pay a huge amount of attention.

If it’s a really nice item maybe ask her parents to keep it safe until she’s a bit older and then bring it out for special occasions.

OceanSunFish · 28/12/2019 16:26

It certainly implies that she didn't absolutely love it, or she would have remembered it. That doesn't mean you can just stop bothering with presents for her in future though! Maybe you didn't quite get it right this time (7yo is too young for nice jewellery IMO) but another time you may hit on the right thing. I'm not blaming you btw - you don't see her often so it's hard for you to know what she'd like. Maybe ask her parents for a hint next time?

OverByYer · 28/12/2019 16:27

She’s 7, you’ve not met her before. Maybe she’s overwhelmed by it all? I wouldn’t be too upset. And whilst your gift sounds lovely, children of that age are probably more interested in their toys

Sharonthetotallyinsane · 28/12/2019 16:29

Your average 7 year old is unlikely to be filled with a natural ability to be gracious on demand.

embolass · 28/12/2019 16:30

Mmmm ...... I can remember Christmas pressies from Aunties back in the 70s and 80s and I’m hurtling towards 50. Jewellery box, wee wicker sewing basket, knitwear knitted themselves. Simpler times, less stuff = more appreciation.

Original poster
SidSparrow · 28/12/2019 16:34

Well, for slack. I feel that her folks have ignored her the whole holiday. So have been spending lots of time with her and taking her out and about.

She gets what she asks for, but I think quality time is something she doesn't get often.

@alexdgr8 I can't take your post seriously because I know you never read mine. I'm not taking about my DD, so it's like you've read inbetween the lines and not the actual lines.

OP posts:
Millie2013 · 28/12/2019 16:35

DD is 6 and a sweet and thoughtful little thing, but she couldn’t recall a lovely gift she’f received from our neighbour when I spoke about it earlier, despite being thrilled with it at the time and not having lots for Christmas either
I just think their little heads are so full this time of year

embolass · 28/12/2019 16:39

Sorry forgot to add you are Def NBU !!

category12 · 28/12/2019 16:40

She's only 7 and a bracelet, nice as it may be, is not particularly exciting to a girl of that age. It's more for a teen, I'd say.

Lulualla · 28/12/2019 16:40

My 8 year old completely forgot about the Nintendo switch because he got a whole load of polymer clay, foam clay and silk clay. He loves craft and loves making models so that's what xmas day was all about to him.

He's bit ungrateful or spoilt. Kids just get a little overwhelmed with new things and will focus on the stuff they love.

Original poster
SidSparrow · 28/12/2019 16:44

Thanks @Millie2013 Yeah that makes sense. Thanks for your reasonable response. I wish more people seen what was a genuine question and not jumping to the conclusion that I'm some bat shit crazy aunt expecting all sorts of gracious thankyous for a bracelet. I was genuinely curious as I've no experience.

OP posts:
BoomBoomsCousin · 28/12/2019 16:44

I feel that her folks have ignored her the whole holiday. So have been spending lots of time with her and taking her out and about.

As a 7 year old, this is most likely what she’s going to remember. Not one present amoung many at Christmas. She may not remember it as “and Aunty Sid took me to A on this day and we did B and then on the other day she took me to X and we did Y.” But she’ll have good feelings about you and the places and she’ll remember bits.