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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think niece should remember what we gave her for Christmas

110 replies

SidSparrow · 28/12/2019 16:02

So we got niece a nice bracelet for her Christmas - she's 7. Was first time meeting her as she lives abroad. We got her that and some other small books and things. Anyway, I asked her if she liked the bracelet we gave her and she didn't even remember it. Now, she didn't get a lot for Christmas since they're doing Christmas when they go home. I did put a bit of thought into it - was a charm bracelet with charms suited to her interests, so I thought she would have at least remembered it, Christmas day was only 4 days ago! Anyway, we've just been out and about and she wanted a keyring, so I bought her it and when we got back she left it in the car.

Now, AIBU to think that perhaps she's just a bit ungrateful? I'm not too fussed, if she is, then it'll make future birthdays and Christmases much easier (card and money). It's like she tore open her presents and never looked back at them. I'd like to think DD won't be like that when she gets to that age, but maybe there is nothing wrong with this...? I'm genuinely confused.

OP posts:

Bluntness100 · 28/12/2019 18:31

I suspect at seven she wasn't reading tags and seeing who gifted what. She was just opening presents. I don't know any seven year old who reads the tags first. Most still believe in Santa at that age.

And agree a bracelet is not a good gift for a little girl, she'd have thought pretty and then roared on with the toys. As per most seven year olds.

happycamper11 · 28/12/2019 18:32

My DD is 10 and if you asked her what she got for Xmas from anyone she'd not remember on the spot. She's dyslexic and quite absent minded in general and tbh I've had to learn not to be upset. I'll take her for an amazing weekend then when asked what she's done she'll say 'nothing' I stoped her at her dads on Boxing Day and she could t name one thing she got from Santa. Don't be offended by that from a 7 year old its definitely normal for most

AfterSchoolWorry · 28/12/2019 18:34

Ahhh, pearls before swine OP.

My dd is 7 also and receives a tsunami of stuff, money and vouchers for Christmas.

This generation also don't see toys, clothes, jewellery, money etc as 'special treats' any more. They live in a consumer world and view these things as routine, not special.

Bluntness100 · 28/12/2019 18:34

And some mumsnetters are whacko bordering on mean. Talk about jumping to all the wrong conclusions

Wow. From the op who started a thread to tell sixteen million people she felt her seven year old niece was ungrateful

AhoyMrBeaver · 28/12/2019 18:38

Memory functions differently when there's a lot of new things to take in, especially big things like new places and people.

I remember holidays, family gatherings etc when I was a kid seeming like I was in a dream because my brain wasn't filing a lot of it away as it normally would. Tiredness added in makes it even more difficult to stay focussed.

isadoradancing123 · 28/12/2019 18:39

I wouldnt be bothered about the key ring but i always tell my children who their presents are from, and expect them to remember

JamieVardysHavingABaby · 28/12/2019 18:48

I’m sure she’ll wear it and appreciate it at some point , but right now she’s probably being playing with toys, etc.

Lucked · 28/12/2019 18:56

Bizarrely my 6 year old has little interest in ‘things’ including a lot of toys. We didn’t get her much this year as unboxed toys and dolls went to the charity shop from last Christmas. The only thing she has taken any interest in this year are her colouring books and craft presents everything else is in a pile and she probably can’t remember much of it.

kateandme · 28/12/2019 18:57

could it also be she so used to being given stuff.but nevr the thought or love or attention.so now it all seems a bit meh and all she wants is a bit of time?just going by your last update.

LauraMipsum · 28/12/2019 18:57

DD got a bike this year, that she's been hankering after since approximately July. Did she remember this when asked what she got for Christmas? No, she remembered that she got a giant splatty poo toy (you throw it at a window and it splats and then goes down, reforming into poo shape at the bottom) from Santa.

She may well treasure it as she gets older, as she will associate it with the nice time she had with you. In the immediacy of now though I wouldn't necessarily expect her to remember who gave what.

NomNomNomNom · 28/12/2019 18:58

DS is 7 and is an absolute dream with presents as he has a great memory and manages to be genuinely enthusiastic about the strangest presents (he even managed to say "wow thanks!" to DH's aunt who hadn't met him before and thought we had two girls not a girl and a boy so got him a sparkly harry potter bracelet. She's a lovely lady and it was sweet of her to even get a gift at all so I was really relieved he didn't look disappointed!). DD 5 on the other hand knows to be polite but is a terrible actress and would instantly forget a gift, even a lovely gift, that didn't happen to interest her. Of course we write thank you notes but if someone was to ask her about it later she might well have forgotten.

alexdgr8 · 28/12/2019 19:00

"@alexdgr8 I can't take your post seriously because I know you never read mine. I'm not taking about my DD, so it's like you've read inbetween the lines and not the actual lines"

well OP, I certainly did read your post carefully. you yourself said,
" I'd like to think DD won't be like that when she gets to that age".
I realise the gift was to your niece. I was asking how old your DD was, since you'd mentioned her, because you sound so very young, in your expectations of children. so I wondered if yours was still a babe.

kateandme · 28/12/2019 19:02

i woud also say that if yuo asked me to remember a gift i was given at 7 i wouldnt.no matter how lovely it was.but i might remember going out with my aunt for a lovely time.

gamerwidow · 28/12/2019 19:04

My DD(9) has been playing with her new toys all day and loves them but she would struggle to tell you exactly what she got and who bought it because her backward span is poor. She finds remembering things really hard.

Spied · 28/12/2019 19:06

My DD 8 has so much 'stuff' that I don't think she sees items/gifts the same way as I did as a child.
I would have remembered and cherished the bracelet.
I don't think my DD would remember it without a prompt.
Tbh it makes me sad.

pjmask · 28/12/2019 19:06

I have no experience with children so I don't know if this is normal or not

Op you can relax it's completely normal

It's mumsnet that's not normal

SquashedOrange · 28/12/2019 19:11

Just to chip in, I have a 7yo DD who LOVES jewellery and bracelets. It depends on the child surely??

I still think your comments about not making much effort in the future because she's clearly ungrateful, are quite mean.

Especially the keyring! Kids always beg you for things and then forget all about it in 5 minutes, completely normal child behaviour.

OneForMeToo · 28/12/2019 19:15

My just turned 8year old dd loves her unicorn jewellery, she’s got tons of the stuff. Every school disco out it comes.

Ask her what she got however for Christmas and she would say scooter and remote control car forgetting the new switch, more jewellery that she loves and her craft stuff. But it’s because she can share her scooter and car with her friends so that’s what she will tell people about rather than the things she wouldn’t share with them.

happycamper11 · 28/12/2019 19:16

Just to chip in, I have a 7yo DD who LOVES jewellery and bracelets. It depends on the child surely??

Mine genuinely loves it too, means far more to her than tat and she'll go back and look at it at a later date and be grateful. Just her ability to remember things on the spot, especially if overwhelmed with other gifts it's pretty much zero

isitpossibleto · 28/12/2019 19:20

You got a 7 year old a bracelet and are also expecting a 7 year old to know the value of things. YABU

HJWT · 28/12/2019 19:53

She is 7, yabu.

YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 28/12/2019 19:57

How many gifts did she receive from people she had never met before? It would be hard for me to put a gift with a name if I had received several from people I never met before. So I imagine for a 7 year old it could be near impossible.

CheshireChat · 28/12/2019 21:12

It might actually be nice to take her out to pick a gift next year, especially as you said she'd probably enjoy the attention.

GoldfishRampage · 29/12/2019 13:00

Op you can relax it's completely normal
It's mumsnet that's not normal

This is a fact 😅

NameChangeNugget · 29/12/2019 13:03

I’m sure you meant well but, jewellery is not the best present for a 7 year old.

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