To give back a Christmas present given to our children

[bouncybouncybouncy]

GPs came round yesterday with our kids Christmas presents. 1 of the gifts was an 8ft trampoline. We don't have a huge garden and it will frankly get in the way. Kids are 3 and 6.

I have a strained relationship with them as it is. I had previously told my mum I didn't want a big trampoline, they're noisy which isn't good for our relations with our neighbours and they're huge when space is an issue.

They came round when we were on holiday in the summer and built a smaller trampoline (but still an awkward size) without our knowledge. They didn't have access to the house, just came in the garden and did it. We discovered it when we got home at 2am.

My mum has form for buying things all the time and she has many duplicate toys in their attic. They have a huge garden and they have probably had this new trampoline in their garage for a long long time.

They used to look after our kids until their dog bit my then 2 year old on the face over a year ago and we haven't been back since. They told us at the time that the dog bit our youngest but now the story has changed over the months and our child now fell into a door. This definitely did not happen.

There are boundary and respect issues.

Anyway me and DH do not want this trampoline and I'm pissed off about it as it's yet another example of them not respecting my choices. The kids have seen it and want it obviously. I have told my mum previously I don't want it. They won't be able to return it because they will have had it for ages. I have daughter guilt about giving it back to them but my mum will be pissed and will think it's another example of me being difficult.

DH thinks we should keep it out of obligation. I feel annoyed they've done this to me again.

It'll start whole host of animosity and anger if I give them it back.

WWYD?

Don't keep it, I'd be tempted to donate it entirely (I'm very gracious about unwanted gifts if they were given with good intentions but it sounds like this was very deliberately annoying).

I would say I loved it and the kids are very excited that it will be at granny’s house where there is lots of space. They can only use it though if the dog is under control or muzzled when the DC are there.

Keep it for a bit then it got damaged so it had to go, what a shame.

100% give it back!

Don’t keep it. You’ve already said you didn’t want a big trampoline and you weren’t listened to. Don’t keep it out of an obligation to be nice.

I’d give it back. If refused I would sell it and offer the money back. I hate trampolines too. Go into any children’s A&E and you will see a big display on the wall to show the stats on how dangerous they are. I also hate people pushing through my boundaries. I would tall them they shouldn’t have got it as I told them not to. Stand your ground. They sound bloody annoying. I’d be really low contact.

sell it

Yeah I would donate it.

If your parents ask you say “well I did tell you we couldn’t have one. I’m not sure what you expected us to do”

Put it on eBay and use the proceeds to get something more suitable for the children. If it crops up, which it probably will, say that you can’t use it at the moment because the garden is too small and it would be antisocial for neighbours but thank you anyway.

Yes, give it back! What is this weird trampoline obsession anyway?! Who sneaks round and installs an unwanted trampoline in someone else's garden without asking first? So strange!

Also I am kind of anti trampolines anyway. They are so dangerous. Here's one source but if you google the dangers of trampolines you will find loads of articles by orthopaedic experts about how dangerous they are especially for young children's bones.
www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/orthopaedic-surgeons-warn-parents-and-young-children-about-the-dangers-of-trampolines-300490552.html

In this situation I would actually sell it (I would normally regift/donate unwanted gifts) and buy your DC something else in discussion with them. If your parents bring it up, explain that you told them quite clearly that you didn't have room for a trampoline in your garden so it was unfortunate they didn't listen to you. Then I would seriously consider going lower or even NC. They sound appalling.

I’d ask them to take it back.

I’d tell them straight if told you not too, now you’ve disappointed the kids again because we can’t keep it’

Get a back bone, ignore your husband and return it

Sell it and buy an annual pass for your nearest trampoline park.

I would give them 2 options - you can have it back, or we will sell it on FB marketplace. No option 3.

EBay it and use the money for something the children will enjoy.
I know it’s hard but the only daughter guilt you have is that which you choose to hang on to. You are an adult making an adult decision. If they don’t like it then it’s their choice.

Give it away.

And give away the extra toys that are stored away.

You've told them you don't want things. It's your home and your family so time to reclaim both.

I have already gone low contact with them as our relationship was really not good for my health and stress levels for various reasons. They've been complaining to my brother that we don't go round anymore and they have loads of kids toys sitting unused now. That is their main complaint, not the fact that their dog is aggressive and I can't trust them to keep my kids safe.

If the children have seen their gift and want it, I wouldn’t return it. It’s not yours to return, it’s theirs.

Do not keep it.
Give it away.
If tacked by parents reiterate the fact they did not respect your wishes .
The children will get over it .
Every time you look at the trampoline it will cause you stress and rage.
My mother used to turn up with stuff I didn’t want such as a slide, massive dolls house etc and I always passed them on.
Some stuff she gave me went straight to the charity shop or bin and never made it indoors.

Sell it on local selling groups or dump it back on them.

An unwanted trampoline is a huge imposition. Literally, huge.

They don't care for your family as the dog incident and their handling of it shows. With people that don't manage normal boundaries, you have to be tough and consistent at enforcing them, and don't get sucked into guilt trips. Calmly point out their choices and how that lead to the consequences. Put their share of responsibilty back on them. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Reduce contact if necessary.

I find it very strange that they would buy something like a trampoline without you asking for it. I am a grandparent and would never buy something like this without consulting parents first.

If their garden is that big, tell them the trampoline can go there. Or do as others have said, sell it.

If they have boundary issues, keeping it reinforces their hold over you. Donate, sell or return it to them, but make this the first of many kickbacks.

Just sell it.

If you don’t have the space for it and it would irritate your neighbours because you don’t have the space for it, then you can’t put it up.

Your choices are to give it back or sell it. If you can sell it without too much hassle I’d do that, and compensate the dc with a day out that they’d love or whatever other toy they want instead.

Sell it and either put the money in the Children’s bank accounts or buy something more suitable.