To give back a Christmas present given to our children

[bouncybouncybouncy]

GPs came round yesterday with our kids Christmas presents. 1 of the gifts was an 8ft trampoline. We don't have a huge garden and it will frankly get in the way. Kids are 3 and 6.

I have a strained relationship with them as it is. I had previously told my mum I didn't want a big trampoline, they're noisy which isn't good for our relations with our neighbours and they're huge when space is an issue.

They came round when we were on holiday in the summer and built a smaller trampoline (but still an awkward size) without our knowledge. They didn't have access to the house, just came in the garden and did it. We discovered it when we got home at 2am.

My mum has form for buying things all the time and she has many duplicate toys in their attic. They have a huge garden and they have probably had this new trampoline in their garage for a long long time.

They used to look after our kids until their dog bit my then 2 year old on the face over a year ago and we haven't been back since. They told us at the time that the dog bit our youngest but now the story has changed over the months and our child now fell into a door. This definitely did not happen.

There are boundary and respect issues.

Anyway me and DH do not want this trampoline and I'm pissed off about it as it's yet another example of them not respecting my choices. The kids have seen it and want it obviously. I have told my mum previously I don't want it. They won't be able to return it because they will have had it for ages. I have daughter guilt about giving it back to them but my mum will be pissed and will think it's another example of me being difficult.

DH thinks we should keep it out of obligation. I feel annoyed they've done this to me again.

It'll start whole host of animosity and anger if I give them it back.

WWYD?

I would let them keep it. My kids loved their trampoline. They still ask for a new one now and they are 12 and 8 ( it eventually fell apart). All that nonsense about trampolines being dangerous...riding bikes is dangerous, crossing the road, doing gymnastics...life is dangerous! 😂😂😂

Sell it and buy some passes for a trampoline park or even lessons for the kids.

God help us! - bloody dog obsessionals! How can they not see that you do not want your children bitten by their aggressive dog? What planet are they living on?

As for the trampoline - tell them that it is too big for the garden and that there is no way you are putting it up. Ebay for sure.

I hate it when people use presents to manipulate others into what they want to happen. The height of ill manners.

Having said that I once gave my adult DD a voucher for singing lessons - she had stopped her singing when the children arrived, but I knew she wanted to start again. I knew it was manipulative and thought long and hard about it. I also told her I would not be offended if she did not use it at all. However it started her off on a series of happy experiences in her life, so I do not now feel so bad about it.

Sell it, donate it or keep it at grannies house as you don’t have the space in the garden. But don’t give it back - it’s a trifle rude, even though they are essentially in the wrong.

After that you need to try and get some boundaries in place.

I would normally say return it, but under these circs I would say sell it on.
You can't put it back to your parents for your kids to use, because they won't be going there to use it - so you might as well move it on to someone who can use it.

Shame for your kids but they'll get over it when they realise that they won't have any play space if it stays.

Actually sneak round to grannies and have it installed in her garden.

Then let her look at it instead.

Sell it, give it back or donate it some place. Why do people do this sort of thing, I half wonder if they like to create arguments and drama?

Sell it on ebay or FB marketplace and buy the DC something nice that will actually fit in your house.
Tell GPs what you have done so they know the DC still got a present from them albeit not what they intended.

Is it a strategy to try and get the children to spend time at their house again? Trampoline doesn't fit your garden so has to go in Granny and Grandpa's and the children have to be allowed to come over to use it?

Sell it and buy them a more suitable gift! Don’t mention it. If she brings it up just say oh it was broken when we put it up so we exchanged it for store credit and got xyz instead

Sell it. You could put it on Facebook marketplace so someone local could come and pick it up.

You told them, they didn't listen, if you give it back they will bitch that you don't come to their house to play with it. I bet thry dont want it in their garden anyway. You have to stay away as they have a dangerous dog.

So just sell or give it away.

Keep up low / no contact. Job done

they have stepped over any boundaries buying this large garden toy.
you could swallow your pride and install it.

I'd have it delivered back to their front door. Or if you really can't bring yourself to do it, sell it online cheap ... it will move.

They don't respect you or your boundaries, and they're actually now lying about how their dog injured your child and pretending it never happened. Completely not on.

Tell your DH to man up and support you here. LC may not be enough

Sell it, you need to make a stand now, this will only get worse. It's sad that the dc have seen it and would like it but it doesn't fit in your garden and you told your parents that. If you don't take a stand they'll keep on doing this, next year a puppy (oh but the kids have seen it and they want to keep it etc etc) I'd get a lock for you garden gate too!

No, you can't let them disrespect you and your wishes like this and get away with it.
Make sure you tell them it's them disappointing the children.

Sell it and get something that the kids would like

Bu the kids would like the trampoline ... unless you have incredibly grumpy neighbours then I wouldn't say the noise would bother them. What would you be using that space for if the trampoline isn't there?
There is a time for enforcing boundaries but I wonder if you're trying to enforce one at the expense of your DCs. Not every interaction with a relative has to be a power play.

@ACouchOfOnesOwn the space would either be on our patio leaving us no space for our table that we use often in better weather for our bbqs or eating our dinner outside etc. Or on the grass which would remove the space for our eldest football daft son to play with his football goals. They also wouldn't be able to have their paddling pool out or swing ball. Or anything else that involves playing on the grass.

You've literally described both sets of gps. One key their dog bite ds face , the other have no respect for boundaries and buy inappropriate presents that we've nowhere to put.

I would give it away and tell them why when they ask.

I wouldn’t put it on a patio, doesn’t bare thinking about if they fall off it. One of mine managed to fall off one with a safety net, tripping on way out. He was fine but they are dangerous. I still vote sell it!

Ah, since it so obviously doesn't fit then I think a PP was correct that GPs expect you to ask them to keep it in their garden and by stealth they'll see the GCs.

Sell it and use the money towards a day out with the children.
Also, let them know you’ve sold it.

They don’t get to manipulate you by forcing unwanted gifts on your family. You told them you didn’t want a trampoline and they completely ignored you. They need to accept that you are entitled to make decisions on behalf of your family and that they must respect those decisions.

Stay low contact.
To be honest, the dog incident alone would have made me go NC with them, especially as they decided to change the story afterwards.
I have a large dog and I’m very careful to keep him away from DS’s friends when they come to play.

I would just sell it and spend the money on a day out.