To give back a Christmas present given to our children

[bouncybouncybouncy]

GPs came round yesterday with our kids Christmas presents. 1 of the gifts was an 8ft trampoline. We don't have a huge garden and it will frankly get in the way. Kids are 3 and 6.

I have a strained relationship with them as it is. I had previously told my mum I didn't want a big trampoline, they're noisy which isn't good for our relations with our neighbours and they're huge when space is an issue.

They came round when we were on holiday in the summer and built a smaller trampoline (but still an awkward size) without our knowledge. They didn't have access to the house, just came in the garden and did it. We discovered it when we got home at 2am.

My mum has form for buying things all the time and she has many duplicate toys in their attic. They have a huge garden and they have probably had this new trampoline in their garage for a long long time.

They used to look after our kids until their dog bit my then 2 year old on the face over a year ago and we haven't been back since. They told us at the time that the dog bit our youngest but now the story has changed over the months and our child now fell into a door. This definitely did not happen.

There are boundary and respect issues.

Anyway me and DH do not want this trampoline and I'm pissed off about it as it's yet another example of them not respecting my choices. The kids have seen it and want it obviously. I have told my mum previously I don't want it. They won't be able to return it because they will have had it for ages. I have daughter guilt about giving it back to them but my mum will be pissed and will think it's another example of me being difficult.

DH thinks we should keep it out of obligation. I feel annoyed they've done this to me again.

It'll start whole host of animosity and anger if I give them it back.

WWYD?

Massive trampolines in smaller/medium sized gardens look chavvy. Same as big tvs in smaller living rooms. For that reason alone I'd be livid that they've basically decided what I'm doing with my garden space. People basically allocating space in your home with giant gifts can fuck right off.
But it's the blatant disrespect in they have shown in general that would send me over the edge. It goes beyond the nuisance of the trampoline, and it needs to be dealt with now. Hate to trot out a MN trope, but you have a 'husband problem' too and he needs to see the bigger picture beyond the logistics of the trampoline.

Wow they're so cheeky. Can't think why you don't want to see them!

Ours got damaged when an animal fell in (from a branch above) and gnawed its way out leaving a big hole.

If I were you, I’d sell it immediately but tell them (and the kids) it was irreparably damaged by an animal.

That said, ours was fine to use and a huge advantage in the years 3-9. Kids never seem to tire of being in it. Accessories like basketball hoops, sprinkler hoses and even balls/hula hoops keep them occupied for ages. It’s just gotta be clear that it’s one kid at a time, no exceptions. It’s not that difficult to enforce, surely?

As Pps have said, they are anticipating you saying it’s too big for our garden - whereupon they will put it up at theirs for the kids.

Sell it and buy the dc something good or take them on a great day out.

There’s no need for you to feel an ounce of guilt about it; it’s cumbersome, impractical and turns a multifunctional space into a one purpose only one.

No, you're not unreasonable. You made it clear to them that you would not want a trampoline. And you are right on this, as it's generally recommended that children as young as 3 should not use trampolines. I don't understand why the GPs are so obsessed with trampolines?

Give it back. Sell it. Donate it. But don't give in to them!

And the dog bite incident also suggests irresponsibility, and their lying about it is a big worry. Surely the injuries from falling into a door would look quite different from those caused by a dog bite?

I would rather have a trampoline in the next door garden than a football mad boy kicking balls everywhere. No, I don’t believe your kids never kick a ball over the fence either. I couldn’t relax in my own garden without fearing being whacked on the back of my head with a flying football.

This is the cropped photo of the bite. It went around his face under his eye and back under his cheek.

Our garden is very private with high walls and hedges, a ball hasn't been kicked over and won't. He plays football in our small garden and doesn't lob it high in the air.

What will it get in the way of grass?

If your garden has high walls no issue with neighbours and trampoline , you are making excuses. The main priority for your garden should be your dc enjoyment.

Don't keep it, I'd be tempted to donate it entirely

I would do this, to - and when they ask where it is, tell them you gave it away as it was far too large, and you had made that abundantly clear before they bought the bloody thing!

Don't give it back else you run the risk of them installing it in your garden.

Sell it and use the money on something for the kids.

You can sink trampolines to make them safer if you decide to keep it?

Sell it and present dc with passes for a trampoline park.
My dc love going.
*we have no trampoline and they don't feel neglected...

Trampolines are really dangerous. My friend is an orthopedic surgeon and she reckons her department has more than doubled in size in the last 10 years due to trampolines in gardens. And you don't have room for it. I'd sell it or return it.

Very disrespectful of your wishes.

Stick to your guns.

Donate, sell, whatever.

Clearly they haven't learnt anything.
Remain LC.

💐

Give it back if you don’t want it or sell or donate it. In my opinion someone buying a massive trampoline without permission from the parents first is crazy.

Thankfully not a trampoline but I have the same issue with my parents. Buying things that I say no to, buying things that aren’t suitable.

I’d try and keep it and find a way to incorporate the goal into the base of the trampoline itself. In my experience, children play far longer and more often on a trampoline than swingball. If after a couple of years your dcs haven’t used it much, I would review the situation then. Dd has a trampoline and friends have always wanted to come over and play on it...

You don't want it. Sell it. I would have absolutely no trouble making that decision. A gift is exactly that.

Sell it

Give it away, don’t explain unless asked. Yes, I know they’ll ask but a discussion in advance is pointless because a) you’ve already been clear about not wanting one, they ignored you, and b) you’re just giving them an opportunity to argue and contradict. Actions speak louder than words!

You have to stop caring that my mum will be pissed and will think it's another example of me being difficult. She’ll think that no matter what because that’s what she wants to think.
I know it’s easier said than done but with practice you can stop caring so much. Keep telling yourself thats their opinion but theirs doesn’t override mine. Given how irresponsible they seem to be you could actually consider their negative view of you a compliment .

You know it really doesn’t matter that some posters would be fine with this or consider it generous. It’s not about the item as such, it’s the fact that they felt entitled to ignore what you’d already told them and believed they could just force you to give in. Getting rid of it will hopefully give them pause for thought next time they consider overstepping boundaries.

Thanks all for your input. I think we will sell it and get the kids something else with the money.