To get the impression he's expecting me to offer ?

[Werkwerkwerkwerk]

DSS has been away for Xmas. We are celebrating Xmas with him on Monday. We share gift buying pretty evenly between DH and I. But I have a closer/larger family so more to buy for, so DSS's gifts get bought by him.
DH hasn't started shopping for DSS yet. We have plans today and tomorrow. I think he's basically got himself stuck and won't admit it he hasn't planned well. 'I've cocked up and have no time to buy gifts can you help'. I can see it a mile off - however I get the impression he is looking for me to volunteer a solution rather than thinking of one himself ...... when I have asked him what he is thinking of for DSS he's says oh I'll worry about that later. Is it just me or is this unreasonable?!

You are his step mum -clue in the name , it is your duty if your husband fails, it is a child you are talking about? Just have the conversation stop making about more.
If you see it as his job you clearly don't see the son bit in stepson.

Duty oh do fuck off. It's the fathers duty end of. It sucks that he hasn't got anything for his son and shows how little he cares about him. It isn't up to her to do his job for him just because she has the resident vagina.

If you wanted to be nice to the lad and you can afford it get him an Xbox to keep at yours from you. Give it too him after his fathers gifts and say Oh by the way I got you this as well

Mum duty NOT wife duty - sorry if not clear

But the annoying thing is, he is organised bought me lovely gifts even me one from dDog. I'm not sure why this is such a block for him

is he concerned that it may be judged by his ex so that’s why he’s worried that it won’t be ‘special enough’

He currently has one whole morning which he doesn't believe to be enough time .....

How long can it take to buy an Xbox? Other issues apart, he could do in online taking all of 15 minutes (at most) and get it by Monday.

He’ll have to do cash in an envelope if he hasn’t got gifts. Sorted.

He'll end up giving him money. Forget about it. Women should not mother men, it just perpetuates the problem.

It's pretty crap that it's now 3 days post Christmas and his son still doesn't have a present, in my opinion, regardless of whether he's seeing him till Monday or not

Wonder if this is part of a bigger problem and why dss isn’t that keen on coming round.

Dad hasn’t bother to get him a Christmas present yet, and stepmum doesn’t consider him close family

Women should not mother men, it just perpetuates the problem.

Even if that means that a child gets treat poorly? At the end of the day, it's the DSS will suffer.

Out of interest OP, how long have you and DH been together and how old is DSS?

The DSS won't suffer. He will get cash.

It is an absolute disgrace that this man has managed to by presents from a dog but has not got his own child anything for Christmas.

Poor child, but I would really struggle to be with someone who could treat their child this way.

You’re getting wound up (and seeking confirmation here that you’re right for feeling wound up!- even worse- people are giving you it!) about something that hasn’t even happened yet! Take a break! Geez.

Do NOT fix this for him. He said he'd do it so let him do it.
If you fix this for him, he'll expect you to do it every time he has a task to do. Dont enable him- he's a grown man, he's perfectly capable of buying one damn present FGS.

*Women should not mother men, it just perpetuates the problem.

Even if that means that a child gets treat poorly? At the end of the day, it's the DSS will suffer*

If your partner can treat his own child so poorly, then I'd be questioning why I was even in a relationship with such a person. If the kid suffers due to his actions, then that speaks volumes about his character and I would be seriously considering whether I would stay with someone so cruelly selfish.

An X box and an open cheque for football boots aren’t special enough, blimey!

What does he normally buy?!

It's horrible that he still hasn't got his son a present. He's has plenty of time and doesn't give a shit.

I also agree that if this is a child of the family then the present needs to be bought and ready to give. It doesn't matter who does it. Either you're a team or you're not. It benefits your step-son. Pay-back your husband on something else if that floats your boat.

Some of the posters on this thread are so utterly 'right on' and selfish.

I wouldn't leave it to him, because at the end of the day it's only his son who will suffer.

^ this

normally I'd agree to leave him to it, but a child may not get a present, which doesn't seem fair. I think you should talk to DP and help him sort something out.

Just buy the present.

Is your making a point more important than the child not having a present because that what it boils down to.

Sounds like he will end up bunging him some money. I wouldn't sweat on it.

OP this is a bit drastic but can you buy the x box, and write a mock blank cheque without your DH knowing? Then when DSS has nothing and is looking very unhappy on Monday, you can produce them. Give it just long enough for your DH to register what a cock up he's made before you bring them out.

(IF your DH steps up before then, you can return the x box.)

Then give his father what for after DSS has gone back to his mum's. Is this an issue every year or just this one?

Suggest a gold plated X-Box, maybe that will nudge him into seeing how ridiculous he is being.

I’m sure this child is well fed and clothed, has a warm bed and loving family.

All the angst over a gift? Maybe DH would prefer to take him shopping? Or see what else he had for Christmas before buying more tat?

I wouldn’t want him round playing the Xbox all the time, you won’t see him and he probably need the break from it.

Tulips Oh I'm sure the child will be THRILLED to be reminded of it's warm bed and clothing on the day he's meant to get his Christmas gift from his Dad! Ffs....this isn't 1893! Kids get Christmas gifts!