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in laws

37 replies

yougotanuglyboatrace · 27/12/2019 22:47

Aibu to ask if you find yours difficult/irritating/infuriating and if so, why?

OP posts:
AwakeAmbs · 27/12/2019 23:31


PurpleDaisies · 27/12/2019 23:32


BlueJava · 27/12/2019 23:34

No, MIL is lovely. I love her in small doses as she talks at 90 miles an hour and has so many "side lines" to the story. But she is lovely.

HohohoHahaha · 27/12/2019 23:34

Not my best friends, not my enemies.

Xyzzzzz · 27/12/2019 23:35

I keep them on an information diet so they don’t interfere.

isabellerossignol · 27/12/2019 23:35

A little bit. But frankly they are nowhere near as tricky as my own family.

They are just human. Sometimes they get things wrong and sometimes they get things right. Sometimes they hurt my feelings and sometimes they are so kind that it brings tears to my eyes.

Mrsgoggingsthe3rd · 27/12/2019 23:50

Sort of what @isabellerossignol says actually. But they’re probably equally as tricky.

Difference is my family aren’t tricky socially it’s bigger than that so I can quite happily socialise with them, whereas my in-laws have 0 social skills so are also tricky there. FIL is rude, talks at you, can’t do chit chat, will get up and walk off mid sentence (yours not his) or just ignores people. Never asks how we are etc. Is insanely competitive and a secret snob! I can’t even explain MIL succinctly, I don’t even think there’s a term for it 😂. Even after nearly 18 years I just can’t relax around them and that’s not like me.

Also they’ve been really horrible and I mean really horrible on several occasions in the past. And although it’s forgiven it’s not forgotten on my part, I think that’s why I feel so awkward around them.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 27/12/2019 23:54

My MIL can be very difficult, she wants things her own way all the time to the point my DP just can't cope with her and is LC. However I do believe her heart is in the right place and we generally get on very well.

Rubyupbeat · 27/12/2019 23:55

Mind is in laws from the other end, adore my Dil, we get on really well, but Make sure I never intrude or interfere. We spend christmases together, with her parents too and who we are good friends with.
I know we are very fortunate, but we do make an effort.

Stillfunny · 27/12/2019 23:58

Couldn't stand mine. Were not nice to me at all. Left the UK to get away from them. Managed to keep my contact minimal , but did encourage DH and DCs relationship. Did the right thing at all times, cards, gifts , etc.
Which is more than DH did.
As I am looking to seperate, so will never have to see widowed FIL ever again.Result.

KateK00 · 28/12/2019 00:09

My ex’s mother was just crazy, there’s no other way to describe her. My DD passed away due to a bowel problem but while she was alive MIL regularly referred to her as “disgusting” “a smelly baby” and “a foul little girl”. After her death MIL tried to tell me that in hindsight it would have been less hard on me if I’d had an abortion. She came into my house while I was out and threw away all of DD’s little trousers “because they smelt” (they didn’t) and invited my ex/her son to move back in with her to get away from the memories of DD. Unfortunately he did and seems to have erased not only our late DD from his life but also me and our DS. But at least I don’t have to see his crazy mother anymore!

Merryoldgoat · 28/12/2019 00:12

No. Mine are lovely. But they seem very much the exception round here!

Hollyhobbi · 28/12/2019 00:21

@KateK00 that's dreadful. You and your ds are better off without him and his crazy mother. So sorry about your little girl. My stepfather in law is a lovely man. Being divorced means I rarely have to see my loopy ex mil. I only see my ex husband in Court rooms the last few years.

LittleRen · 28/12/2019 00:22

I love mine. My FIL can be a little too opinionated but as time has gone on I have learnt to just wind him up about it and I laugh it off, we have a great relationship. I am lucky they aren’t controlling at all and my MIL is so thoughtful and caring. Sometimes in a weird way I wish they were a little more overbearing! They really do just let us get on with it, no pressure with anything - they just get as involved as we want them to be.

I do make a real effort with them though, I never used to, and I think it really helps.

LittleRen · 28/12/2019 00:24

I do find in “real life” most people I know get on with their in-laws.. on mumsnet the opposite seems true Hmm

ZeroOneOneTwoThree · 28/12/2019 00:30

I love them mostly, but we have struggled with a dynamic change since DS was born.

MIL wants what is best for her grandchildren, forgetting that I want what’s best for my son too (but obviously, my best isn’t her best, so it’s not good enough!)

I’d say they’re lovely, unless we’re talking about DS, politics, finances or the house that DH and I share.

Nikmarsh26 · 28/12/2019 00:39

Mine is condescending to me, rude and generally irritating. I try and keep as far away if im honest x

pinksunday · 28/12/2019 01:51

Not spoke to mine for nearly 2 years - it's bliss

yougotanuglyboatrace · 31/12/2019 12:02

I keep them on an information diet so they don’t interfere.whats an information diet?!

OP posts:
Rollonspringtime2020 · 31/12/2019 12:06

5 years since seen mil.
Can def recommend it....

Xyzzzzz · 31/12/2019 12:07

I don’t tell them things or only bare minimum. The less they know the less they interfere.

sayingno · 31/12/2019 13:54

They were awful this year and they brought me close to hating them. Then I realised hate is such an unhealthy feeling and since then I learned to keep them at arm's length and on an "information diet" as a pp has said and it's been great.

PhilCornwall1 · 31/12/2019 13:57

The way I look at it is, I don't have in-laws, my wife has parents. She doesn't see them or talk to them much either.

notanotherjigsawpiece · 31/12/2019 14:08

My MIL is lovely. Fun, generous and treats my DC (from a previous relationship) the same as her biological GC. I was ill recently and she helped me out a lot.

PennyGold · 31/12/2019 14:12

I feel really sorry for those who have awful in-laws, mine are lovely and I really enjoy spending time with them.

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