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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Getting sick of investing in threads

61 replies

incognitomum · 27/12/2019 08:45

I don't know if it's the time of year but there's been an influx of threads removed. More than I can remember.

I wish there was an emblem next to OP name saying if they're a new poster then I might not care. I have always tried to empathise but am starting to doubt a lot in advance.

OP posts:

WelcomeToShootingStars · 27/12/2019 08:50

I think it's a bit silly to be annoyed at "investing your time" on a forum. Regardless of whether the poster is new, or the issue is real, somebody else may have that same issue and be reading peoples advice.

Everybody can be anyone they choose online, so it pays not to be so invested.

FeigningHorror · 27/12/2019 08:51

I agree with @Welcome. No one is making you ‘invest’.

PurpleDaisies · 27/12/2019 08:51

You never know who anyone is on the internet. It’s best not to get invested in anything.

Lockheart · 27/12/2019 08:53

What do you mean 'investing'? This is an internet forum for anyone to post anything. Threads get removed for a myriad of reasons. You're not owed closure or juicy dramatic updates just because you spent 30 seconds writing a reply.

If you want that sort of thing and you absolutely must know what happened then this isn't the medium for it; read a book or put a soap opera on.

JoanBonJovi · 27/12/2019 08:55

I know what you mean op and wont repeatedly pick holes at one word in your post. 🧐

I want to bloody know what happened with the jewellery. Utter nosiness.

Original poster

incognitomum · 27/12/2019 09:03

I suppose I've never been one to lie so find it annoying when people do. But yes it is an internet forum so it's what I should expect.

Shame though as I'm naturally caring. I've had a lot of support on mumsnet over the years but some seem to take the piss.

OP posts:

thepeopleversuswork · 27/12/2019 09:07

Honestly I think if you’re “investing” in comments from strangers on an Internet forum you need to get some real friends and get more.

You have a dependence and need to take a step back.

thepeopleversuswork · 27/12/2019 09:08

Get out more.

Bloody phone

beelzeboob · 27/12/2019 09:12

I know what you mean.
I think I’m reasonably good at spotting a troll but every now and then there’ll be a thread I’ve commented on and then after a few days there’s the message from mn hq saying they’ve taken it down to look behind the scenes. It’s very annoying.

echt · 27/12/2019 09:12

If you want to really invest, go on Bereavement or Life-limiting illness. It's full of those genuinely in a shit position, though I suspect that it's not what you're really after.

As has been said, step back.

NameChangeNugget · 27/12/2019 09:14

OP, only a personal opinion however, I think 80% of threads are made up.

Take it all with a pinch of salt and invest more time in your real life friendships

QuillBill · 27/12/2019 09:15

I think it’s over the top to get invested in strangers lives even if their problems are real. I don’t like it when people are posting asking for updates either. People are asking for help so they can get help rather than to provide an entertaining storyline with a neat ending.

GymBunny2020 · 27/12/2019 09:16

YANBU.

Especially when threads are pulled because they are ‘outing’ (er, what’s outing about being married and having children), or to protect a poster’s privacy (when in fact they just weren’t getting the answers they wanted).

Ocomeocomeimaginaryfleas · 27/12/2019 09:18

I feel the same.

It's not so much being invested, as having bothered to read someone's thread and followed the twists and turns, and just wanting to know how things turn out.

When threads are flagged as lighthearted at least you know what you're getting.

MarianaMoatedGrange · 27/12/2019 09:32

It is annoying! I agree threads aren't soap operas for our entertainment, but the amount of threads pulled lately makes me wary of them all.

Posters who reply offer support and advice to the OP with a problem in good faith to help the OP not feel so alone with said problem and it is annoying when the thread is pulled. Some posters write lengthy replies with good advice, garnered by their own experiences and I feel sad for them when the thread disappears.

No one likes the feeling of being duped, but yeah internet eh.

MrsHardbroom · 27/12/2019 09:37

Just assume that everyone is a troll until proven otherwise, job done. I've realised that pretty much every thread where anything remotely interesting is going on, particularly where updates are required, is prob not real.

DeeZastris · 27/12/2019 09:40

If they are particularly juicy they tend to be a troll.

TreeTopTim · 27/12/2019 09:41

I understand what you mean OP.

I wouldn't say I invest in threads but if someone posts asking for help and I take my time to give them that and then it turns out the thread is either a troll or pulled for whatever reason I think twice about posting on the next thread, where someone else needs advice.

Mumsnet is meant to be a supportive place but threads getting pulled all over the place makes me hesitant to offer much advice.

billybagpuss · 27/12/2019 09:43

I don’t think it necessarily matters if people are trolling or not, ok there have been some ludicrous ones, but if people answer in good faith there may always be someone lurking, reading in similar situation who takes comfort from some of the genuine stories people share.

BentNeckLady · 27/12/2019 09:47

Mumsnet really is shit at the moment, what with the trolls and the huns and the endless fucking nit picking and point scoring ”what do you mean by investing” is a prime example of it. It’s fucking obvious!

It’s thread after thread of people piling in on each other trying to be the big I am. It’s extremely tedious.

Swinesinsleepingbags · 27/12/2019 09:48

I get it, I've posted really difficult threads and the support from strangers has changed my life and helped me cope. It's all well and good rudely saying 'get some real friends' but for many its not that easy. (those that post this obviously do not have problems with social interactions)
The problem with troll threads are that it stops people replying to posters that really need help, I know I no longer reply to some threads. It is a shame and I like the idea of a badge to show length of posting history but I know MN will not.

Scarsthelot · 27/12/2019 09:49

If you want to really invest, go on Bereavement or Life-limiting illness. It's full of those genuinely in a shit position, though I suspect that it's not what you're really after.

Threads are deleted there, which is even worse. Those boards are immune to trolls and attention seekers. Some of the worst one have been on this boards.

DeeZastris · 27/12/2019 09:49

Mumsnet is going down the crapper. The trigger happy mods are not helping either.

Beautiful3 · 27/12/2019 09:51

I know what you mean. I tend not to comment on most posts, because so many are pulled hours later. I'm not sure if they're genuine.

NorthernLightsInWinter · 27/12/2019 09:53

I'm with JoanBonJovi, I wanted to know what happened with the jewelry and ridiculous tale he spun her. I hope she's ok.

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